Dear June,
While she was on Facebook, Petunia told me we'd missed your birthday. Therefore I said I ought to send you a birthday card.
She wanted me to send you a card with bible verses on it because she had a whole box of them. Sure, let me pick out the one that threatens you with hell fire and damnation. Petunia was outraged when I turned her down.
The woman's whole family are members of the Southern Baptist Church. They believe no drinking, no dancing, no card playing. They sweat bullets they'll meet at the liquor store. We have to leave town to go dancing. Never saw them break out a pack of cards though. Petunia has three packs of cards just in case she get tempted.
I went skipping down to the store and picked you out a humorous card instead.
With any luck, you'll remember my birthday is June 18th.
Wishing you many hugs from people you want to know,
Old What's His Face.
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