Eat your heart out at Australian ingenuity - Outback Australian bidet and answer to toilet paper panic:
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Budgie
Level 8
Mar 25, 2020
1
Save on loo paper! And keep the flies away whilst you are eating your melon to say nothing of cooling your cheeks in summer!
@FrayedBear The thing is do you turn it on before you start, or after you have finished do you walk to the tap to turn it on or do you have someone there to turn it on for you. Either way I can see a lot of shit being where you don't want it.
@Budgie stop being literal - it spoils the fun 
@FrayedBear I don't know the idea of a shit fountain is sort f fun as well.
@Budgie that's diahorrea, this is water sprinkler washing the sticky bits off.
Missing a link?
Coffeo
Level 8
Mar 22, 2020
1
No a photo actually.
Now added! Thanks fya.
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