For me, it’s the smell and the looks, both bringing into mind the idea of suffering, fear, cruelty. I won’t even eat vegan versions of meats that look like meat. Bleeding veggie burgers? No thanks.

@graceylou Exactly like my late partner. Even the texture was off putting for her. The first time she returned to Iran the family had a goat killed (it is their custom). She was horrified and immediately squelched that custom (either a dead goat or her).

I disagree. You are basically saying her compassion for animals and anxiety about being around people eating dead bodies is the problem....when, in fact, the problem is that others are eating dead bodies. That should cause any sane person anxiety.

@SkotlandSkye LMFAO I am basically saying ???? nope!! you are using the word basically to start a sentence which is basically patronising in most peoples consideration .. then putting words in my mouth.

If you attempt to control your environment when you cannot it will control you .. Its already happening .. the answer is to relinquish control allowing anxiety to subside in order to live her life.. If you think becoming a social outcast is the answer you need a lie down lol ..

@SkotlandSkye I never said any of that !! You did! assumption is the mother of all .......

For the most part I’m fine with things as is for me. I’ve never been a social sort of person. I prefer being on my own or with a few friends. There are other things to do that don’t involve eating. I don’t think it impacts my life too greatly when I refuse to go eat out in places people will eat meat. It’s when I don’t really have a choice that it becomes an issue. My friends would go to vegan restaurants with me. My relatives probably think I’m nuts (they already think that).

I understand what you’re saying that the anxiety part of it is something that I might need to discuss with a professional. I also see SkotlandSkye’s point that I really don’t want to learn to cope with or accept other people’s choices that harm animals (and themselves and the planet). I don’t want people getting into an argument here. There is no one solution and certainly no easy solutions.

@Nickbeee I don't read her "anxiety" as a need to control the environment. Her anxiety stems from having to watch people eat dead bodies. I know because it makes me anxious too. All I can think about is the suffering that occured for the body to end up on a plate. I usually end up crying when I'm in that situation....so it's better to avoid it. I'd rather be a social outcast than complacent about murder.... Someday...people who eat dead bodies will be the outcasts...as it should be.

@SkotlandSkye We all have a need to control our environment to some extent and it is a normal human reaction!! You, me everyone. You seem to be offended by that ??

The more we relinquish control over things external to our influence then we can give that energy to the things that we can control ...

Also too suggest socialising is not an outlandish suggestion .. you flew off the handle put words into my mouth.. I am not going to continue this .. I have just made sensible suggestions and you have ignored them completely !! I don't really mind lol !! I hope you work it out @graceyLou!

@SkotlandSkye "I'd rather be a social outcast" .... Then how are you going to spread your message ? I have a massive amount of vegan friends .. they would call be stunned by your audacity.

Unfortunately I will be at the mercy of my family members since I will have no vehicles of my own. I keep telling myself it will just be a few hours. Another option I’m considering is to not go to the dinner. I would still be around for a few days.

@graceylou then I would opt out of the dinner. Sitting at a table like that is no different than being at a bullfight or dogfight....or sitting in a slaughterhouse watching the innocent die. There is no reason you have to put yourself through that if you can spend time with them outside of that situation.

I wish I can do that but my feelings are things I can’t help. I was fine with it all before. Just recently I’ve been feeling this way. My brother is arranging the restaurant and I’ve looked at the menu. There are quite a few options for me beyond salad (which in fact I hate with a passion!!!!). He says he will make sure when he makes the reservation to check and see that the vegetables and tofu aren’t cooked in fish or pork oil (I ordered something with tofu once and was told they cook it in fish oil). Even so, not all restaurant workers know what vegan means. Is the flour they use devoid of animal derived additives? Is their bread or buns vegan (no egg wash etc.)? Do they cook their veggies and tofu etc in the same oil/ pan as meats?

At my parents’, my mom would probably not know how to cook for me beyond rice and veggies. I’m bringing what I can with me though I’m packing light. If I can I might pick up a few items at the grocery store though I will have no vehicle and will have to ask to be driven or I suppose take public transit (no stores within walking distance). It might be considered rude if I shun the food cooked for me and make my own. I don’t really care I guess. My parents know I’m the weird one.

@graceylou I work on keeping my feelings in line with the rest of the world so we can all co-exist. It seems important to do so. My eating policy is healthy for me and compassionate to the animals... and polite to friends, family, cooks, and servers. I call it pragmatic healthy eating... when I cook, I make what I want, 100% the way I want it. When out, I just do the best I can without ruining it for anyone else or making a fuss. Seems we all need to make more of an effort these days to get along with others. Just me, but passing it on.

@mtnhome I consider myself rather antisocial. I prefer to be left alone or with just few people I can tolerate. There is no way I would attempt to get along with those whose views cause/result in harm to others. For the most part I get along well with others so long as the more contentious topics are not discussed. I’m vocal about certain topics but know the time and place for such discussions or debates. I would rather avoid such things when it’s not appropriate to do so. I still have those feelings but don’t say anything. I do, however, still have the right to avoid situations where I will be uncomfortable.