My name is Eric and I'm a landscaper by trade, and an artist and essayist by avocation. I've lived in Denver my whole life, except for seven years I spent in Salt Lake City, which was bizarre and which I intend to one day make into a helarious and terrifying memoir. We'll see. Anyway, back in Denver, I came to realize that all the people I knew here before are dumb and shallow, and now I need to meet some new ones. And in particular, I'm looking for a nonchristian woman who will eat meals with me and tell me I'm neat and be funny and kind and intelligent and fond of my penis and my jokes. I don't need this person to think all my jokes are good, nor to be fond of my penis at all hours of the day, nor to coddle my ego, nor pay for my cigarettes
I don't wish to control her, nor to monopolize her attention. As for platonic friends, I can get along with literally anyone, although I far prefer to hang out with people who are intelligent and humorous and have generosity in their hearts. Maybe it's obvious to say so, because who doesn't want smart, funny, kindhearted friends? But, I want my friends to be exceptional people. So, all you beautiful people, let's go be gorgeous somewhere, right?