Ladies, this comes up a lot and I would very much like to know what you think the term "man up" ...

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 13, 2018:

Because we've been taught all of our lives that 'acting like a woman' in one form or the other is the ultimate insult men use against each other. It's sexist, stupid and needs to stop but bad habits that have been reinforced for years are hard to break and even harder to maintain.

How do you feel about transgender individuals?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 13, 2018:

Don't really have any feelings about them. Transmen are men and transwomen are women. Gender roles in society OTOH utterly ridiculous. Nothing pisses me off more than when I've spent hours teaching social skills to a child only for the parent wipe it all out with one stupid sexist comment.

Do You Believe In Getting Annual Physical Examinations?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 13, 2018:

I only go to the doctor if I'm sick. I've been 2 times in the last 10 years. One time was a work related injury (worker's comp) and the other hives. Both have occurred in the last 6 months.

Stupid question time.

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 13, 2018:

Not knowing anything about your relationship I have 2 suggestions... time alone with you doing something you both enjoy doing or time away from you doing something she avoids because she knows you don't like it. When my brother lived at home, I used to give my mother a kid free day for Mother's Day.

Wine, beer, liquor, or sobriety?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 13, 2018:

Diet Dr Pepper. I quit soda years ago but still find myself wanting one once in a great while. Generally avoid alcohol because I'd rather waste calories on dessert.

Is it wrong to use child soldiers?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 13, 2018:

I went 'yes' but there are some caveats...I don't find using children to be immoral because of their children as much as using all people is offensive. I would never ask anyone to kill or die to protect me because I'm unwilling to kill or die to protect them; however, if someone is willing to throw their life away, I probably wouldn't try to stop them. IOW, I don't hold children's life to be of more value than anyone else's. I actually would say I value parents of young children the highest but only because I don't want to get stuck taking care of their kids.

Do you think other people generally see you, as you see yourself?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 12, 2018:

Most people seem to think I'm nicer than I believe I am.

What are you thoughts about ministers who go to Jails and convert, lonely, gullible, criminals by ...

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 12, 2018:

An intern from a local MDiv program at my old church was hired as a chaplain at a juvenile prison then fired after she was caught "ministering" to a 17 year old in a closet.

Who loves to cook?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 12, 2018:

I love to cook especially for friends and co-workers. I began cooking at an early age. My mom assigned a weekday to me and my brother. We planned the meal and gave mom the shopping list then we were on our own. There are 2 things that I cannot make - biscuits and pie crust. Snickerdoodles are my favorite cookie, but I'm having difficulty perfecting a recipe.

Do you feel guilty when you kill insects, rats, or any other lower animals in/around your house?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 12, 2018:

I don't kill them except under three conditions 1) poop on my counter, 2) spider in the bathtub or 3) can't get them out without hurting them. I had to kill a mouse one time because my cat has no killer instinct and tore off all its legs during play. I've never been able to get over hearing that poor mouse's cries.

Do I have the most Non-Confrontational FB Christian friends?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 12, 2018:

Just my personal experience speaking here, of course, but most fire-and-brimstone types of any belief are fairly new converts. They've found something new and wonderful and want to share. That leads to defensiveness when everyone doesn't agree. Most people who have spent their entire lives in a churched environment are generally live-and-let-live in regards to other's beliefs.

Personal space. Yah? Nah?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 12, 2018:

I work on personal space issues in others as part of my daily work life. I have acknowledged that my personal preference is possibly 3-4x what people typically need or want. Mine could even be measured using football fields.

Do you think you are well informed?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 12, 2018:

I know that there is a lot I still need to learn.

I’m a closet agnostic! I want out... any tips on how to make the leap of unfaith!

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 12, 2018:

Start with one person who you think will be supportive. It gets easier once you've said it out loud to someone. I actually started gradually by telling people close to me that I didn't believe in religion. Not believing in god follows naturally. I'm actually still open to proof of the existence of god but will never believe that religion has anything to do with a real god.

What is the value of money?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 11, 2018:

Money is a tool I use to get the peace I want in my life. A friend and I were talking about waiting for a rich relative to send us money when I had the unsettling realization that in my family I AM THE RICH RELATIVE.

What does American greatness mean to you?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 11, 2018:

America has never been great. At times, it has been better for certain groups of people. The 'good 'ole days' weren't good when they were experiencing them.

Which do you think should play a bigger role in your life tolerance or compromise

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 10, 2018:

I can usually tolerate others, but I refuse to compromise.

How to deal with my Christian family. I usually lie or say nothing.

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 10, 2018:

Generally, I just roll my eyes and take frequent bathroom breaks. I rarely see them and honestly don't value their opinion, so its not worth talking about.

Reasons for attending church or mass

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 9, 2018:

Unquestioning compliance to authority. I'm always amazed by how many people never realize that their parents didn't have a clue and were just pulling things outta their asses to get'em to shut up.

What guilty pleasure TV shows do you watch.

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 9, 2018:

Shadowhunters, Riverdale, Hoarders, Intervention and Worst Cooks in America.

WHAT'S YOUR POSITION ON ABORTION ?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 9, 2018:

I consider myself solidly pro-choice. I would never consider forcing someone to have an abortion but honestly think more women should have them than do. Too often parents boast about how strong they are and how well they're dealing with the torture they are inflicting on their children.

Worst qualities

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 9, 2018:

I have no filter, can be very sarcastic and have no patience. I generally am fine with the way I am, except I would like a better brain to mouth filter. Sometimes it will be hours later before it occurs to me "I probably shouldn't have said that."

Trump and his Evangelical Christian Pals

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 9, 2018:

I think Trump is a good representation of most of the Christians I've met. "God" tells them thru prayer that whatever they're doing is acceptable to him. Religion reinforces their own sense of superiority.

What do you consider "better than sex?"

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 9, 2018:

Pretty much everything. Except, goldfish crackers, I really hate goldfish crackers.

I am bored. Need some controversy. Anyone here, besides me, like pineapple and ham on their pizza?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 9, 2018:

Where I come from it's ham with bbq sauce, nastiest pizza I've ever eaten.

Now that people point out at me and calling on my my privilege, Let me expand it here.

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 7, 2018:

The question you should ask yourself is "all other things being equal, would I rather be (female, black, brown, gay, etc)?" I've definitely experienced white privilege in my life. I've gotten away with things a POC would never attempt. I've also been treated as less in the presence of a man (e.g., I couldn't get a salesperson to acknowledge me until I came back with a man. Even though I was the one buying.).

"In a better place"?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 7, 2018:

I'm sorry. I don't believe they are 'in a better place', so I would never use that phrase. No longer in pain is something I might say after a long illness.

What if you are wrong and there IS a god

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 7, 2018:

Even if god exists, religion is still a bunch of phony, baloney nonsense made up to control the disadvantaged.

When you have good and bad news, which one do you prefer to share first?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 5, 2018:

Bad news first. However, my idea of bad news is often different than other’s.

What would you do in this situation?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 5, 2018:

Keeping in mind that I’m probably a horrible person, I’d say good riddance and walk away with out a second thought. If it’s that easy for them to turn you away, you’re better off without them.

I have been loyal to a fault to my man of almost 13 years, married almost 11.

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 5, 2018:

I never know what someone wants to hear in this situation. You obviously know what you need to do and what the problem is. So I’m just going to put my foot in it...He’s not making you unhappy, you’re doing it to yourself.

PLATITUDES Sometimes I think it better to say nothing but too often folks have to fill the silence ...

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 5, 2018:

I will often stick to platitudes in two situations. 1) I really don’t care one way or the other or 2) I know they really don’t care about what I have to say.

The Winter Olympics will be starting soon and there will be curling.

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 5, 2018:

Does that even qualify as a dad joke? I love curling. I’ve actually changed plans so that I wouldn’t miss curling. I discovered it maybe 2-3 olympics ago.

Are you good at small talk?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 5, 2018:

Horrible at small talk. I avoid it whenever possible. If I have to have conversation, I’ll ask about their kids or significant other then space out. If you maintain a decent amount of eye contact no one knows or really cares that you’re not paying attention. Superficial conversation is more about the appearance of a connection anyway.

What’s your most favorite and least favorite sport?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 5, 2018:

Most favorite - probably basketball Least favorite - baseball The margin between my favorite and least favorite is so narrow they’re most likely equal.

What types of things do you take note of and recall easily?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 5, 2018:

Numbers, faces or minute details but don’t ask me for names.

Do you identify as a Highly Sensitive Person? Or, not at all? What do you think of the term?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 4, 2018:

I work in a clinic with occupational and physical therapists. I’ve discovered that I have a multitude of sensory issues. I should have received therapy as a child but am fairly certain my parents had no clue that such a thing even existed.

I don't understand this: How is it I have been single for 1 year and 9 months, and have not been ...

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 4, 2018:

You might try asking a man you’re interested in out instead of waiting to be asked.

I was pulled over by the Sheriff for speeding.

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 4, 2018:

I’ve been pulled over but never ticketed. I assume it’s because I always acknowledge what I’ve done and apologize. I’m ready to get the ticket and pay the fine. There’s no doubt that I’m guilty at the time. I’m sure being a white woman also helps.

What places have made you the happiest? What made you feel that way?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 4, 2018:

In my living room, on my couch with my cat on my lap.

Which do you purchase?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 4, 2018:

Fritos or Trader Joe’s, I tend to stick with name brands on most occasions.

Does anyone else here have super religious family that can't cope with you being atheist I have ...

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 4, 2018:

I love my family and know they love me, but honestly, if we weren’t related we wouldn’t have anything to do with each other. We have absolutely nothing in common except relatives.

How do you spend your Sundays (or, if from a Friday-Saturday sabbath-groveling background, that same...

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 4, 2018:

Working

I just found out my husband gave a church over $1,700.

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 4, 2018:

I’d cancel payment with your bank, then have an incredibly ugly fight with the husband.

Being Completely Honest, Is There A Bible Or Cross Anywhere In Your Home Right Now?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 4, 2018:

I have several bibles and the book of mormon. I don't throw away books. My mormon friends tell me that makes me an honorary mormon after the first 2 years.

Ruin a first date in four words.

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 4, 2018:

No sex again, ever.

How do you learn to put up with the mentally challenged by old age?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 4, 2018:

Patience and frequent breaks. There’s no right answer just keep in mind that they are most likely very frightened and fragile, emotionally if not physically.

How mobile are you?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 4, 2018:

Both...I love to travel, but coming back home after a trip can be my favorite part. I miss my home, cat and routine.

How do you see youself in 5 years?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 4, 2018:

I’d like to be in a position to either cut my hours to part time or take 1 week off work every month. I’m surprisingly content with the path I’m on now.

Are you going to be single for Valentine's Day?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 4, 2018:

No plans. I didn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day when I was part of a couple either.

Do you ever wake up early on your days off?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 3, 2018:

I wake up every morning between 4-5 no matter what.

Why do so many people choose not to upload a profile pic?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 3, 2018:

I don’t have many pictures of myself and when I tried, it didn’t work.

Seeing so many vets homeless and in need what have you done to help these individuals out.

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 3, 2018:

Nothing really because no one has asked. I refuse to give money to non-profit organizations. If someone asks me to help them I will. To be honest, I don’t find a homeless veteran to be more deserving than anyone else.

How do you prefer to be comforted?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 2, 2018:

I want to be left alone. My cat is allowed to climb into my lap for a cuddle.

Wow! Thanks, religion! NOT.

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 2, 2018:

The worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves. Everyone gets hurt.

Forgive and forget. Is it a possibility?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 2, 2018:

There’s no value in forgiving or forgetting...just let go of the anger and move forward. I haven’t forgiven my ex for being a lousy father but honestly rarely give him a thought one way or the other.

Veterans

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 2, 2018:

From what I’ve seen as far as government officials are concerned, the only good veteran is a dead veteran unless there’s a photo op. We need to decrease the number of conflicts we either start or interfere with then decrease enlistment significantly.

I never wanted to have kids, is that weird?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 2, 2018:

That seems perfectly normal to me. I have never understood how someone could do that to themselves on purpose.

Today's political climate

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 2, 2018:

I don’t consider myself political, but I detest self-righteous blowhards. I see Trump as the embarrassing drunk uncle who’s handsy with a big mouth. He can always be trusted to act in his own self interest. Pence, Ryan and McConnell OTOH are dangerous because they’d happily destroy themselves if it meant they got to hurt others. God’s will, ya know.

Would You Be Ok With Your Child Choosing To Be a Believer?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 2, 2018:

I wouldn’t be thrilled but he has to live his own life and with the results of all his decisions.

What countries have you visited, or would like to visit?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 2, 2018:

I’ve been to Canada, Mexico and US. I’d like to go to Europe and Asia; however, I’m not sure I could handle flying over the ocean that long. I’m flying to Hawaii this fall to test my limits.

How many people have kids and how many don't have kids and don't want kids ?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 2, 2018:

I have an adult son. I have never wanted more.

Just curious about political affiliation.

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 2, 2018:

My son tells me I’m a hippie-dippy liberal. No one else would ever apply the word hippie to me. I’m so far left that if the world were flat I’d be hanging on by the fingernails.

Do you like it when people give you false hope? I don't.

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 2, 2018:

I want worst possible scenario. I already know what the best or good. I absolutely hate when death is considered the worst that could happen. There are any number of things that I consider worse than dying.

What's to do in Vegas?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 2, 2018:

I enjoy people watching on Fremont Street, the fountains and conservatory at Bellagio, Red Rock canyon, Valley of Fire and Bonnie Springs.

I'm asking this not based on one's personal beliefs, but what is most appealing?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 2, 2018:

I’d like to be reincarnated as a spoiled house cat. My cats have it made.

If you've lost your parents, how much do you miss them?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 2, 2018:

My mom died 5 years ago, but my dad is still alive. He does live very far from me. I don’t really miss either of them on a regular basis. Sometimes I’ll see a book or a movie ad and think of my mom. I see my dad a couple of times a year. My mom didn’t know I was an atheist but did know that I think organized religion is a crock. I told my dad straight out when he tried to tell me gay marriage is wrong “because the Bible says....”

About you?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 2, 2018:

I’m very accepting of other people. Honestly, it could be that I don’t care enough about what other people think or do to be judgmental unless it has a direct effect on my life.

How many places have you lived?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 1, 2018:

I was born in Indiana and moved to Las Vegas, NV.

Got my bi-yearly jury summons and wonder how everyone else handles the oath part.

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 1, 2018:

I’ve always been dismissed before any actual selection occurred.

Where would you live?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 1, 2018:

I love the ocean but can’t afford the live there. I also love the desert and am well paid, so I take frequent trips to the ocean. If money were no object I’d live in the Bay Area.

Tell me, what is the successful recipe for a successful marriage?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 1, 2018:

Don’t do it. It’s a trap.

Are you for tipping or anti- tipping syndrome?

PhoebeCat comments on Feb 1, 2018:

I tip between 20-25% when I go to a restaurant because they a significantly underpaid for a very hard job. I tip my hairdresser because she goes out of her way to accommodate my weird schedule. She also does an amazing job.

If you ever attended church, did you ever pay tithe?

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 31, 2018:

I’d usually put a couple of dollars in the collection if I had it to spare.

Would you teach your child to stand for the "Pledge of Allegiance"?

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 31, 2018:

I don’t but would never try to stop someone else. That is unless they tried to make me stand.

During Love Making, Are you The You Vocal Or Silent Type?

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 31, 2018:

Too much noise would block out the tv.

Did you go to your senior prom/dance/formal?

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 31, 2018:

I went because my boyfriend wanted to go. Skipping would have been my choice.

Is anyone else on this site asexual?

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 31, 2018:

Yes. I labeled myself asexual long before I knew anyone else felt that way.

Dating dealbreakers

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 30, 2018:

Smoking, dependent children or wants children.

Sex. And, then what?

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 30, 2018:

Run for the door with a promise to be in touch "soon".

What do you regret the most from your last relationship?

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 30, 2018:

Not paying attention to my cat...she hated him.

With no Disrespect to those that have or had a hard time in the past, fitting in with the Cool ...

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 30, 2018:

I've never met a group I wanted to join.

What was your favorite subject in school?

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 30, 2018:

Math and history

Which alcohol do you prefer?

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 29, 2018:

I rarely drink but I always go for tequila if I do. Strangely enough, I have a fully stocked liquor cabinet for guests I'll never have.

Household Chores

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 29, 2018:

Dusting is just sooo time consuming.

Do any of you have earnestly religious friends?

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 29, 2018:

Sure, like I've said before I'm surrounded by Mormons. They are generally wonderful people however misguided I find their religious beliefs. They would probably say the same about me.

Do you think all religious are equal?

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 29, 2018:

I believe they're all bad because they exist for control; however, some are definitely more dangerous than others.

Is having similar politics important in a relationship?

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 29, 2018:

Yes, because politics are a reflection of what you value in life. I have no use for people who value money or power over the well being of others.

What are you most looking for in a relationship? Just your 1 Thing

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 29, 2018:

Someone who will give me space. At this point in my life I'm totally self-sufficient and don't need someone else. I could handle a relationship with someone like me. I wouldn't mind being wanted but don't want to be needed.

What are your thoughts on the etiquette of paying for dates?

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 29, 2018:

Whoever does the asking should pay for the meal. The non-paying person should get the tip. My number one rule is to never order something I can't pay for myself even if it's clear I'm not expected to pay. Rule number 2. always offer to pay part of bill.

How would you feel if you found out that the person you have feeling for was transgender?

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 29, 2018:

Wouldn't matter to me, but I wouldn't be attracted to them sexually no matter what.

Would you hit your child to discipline them?

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 29, 2018:

Of course. My son likes to make out like he was smacked a lot, but I remember every time he was spanked and why I spanked him.

Who is the better parent?

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 29, 2018:

Consistency and reliability are what make a good parent, not gender. Women generally received custody in the past because they were the ones who were responsible for raising the children. When I divorced my son's father, he didn't want custody, barely picked him up for visitation and never paid child support after he started another family. Honestly, I was a married single mother long before the split.

Hey guys, we all are from different place.

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 29, 2018:

I have lived in Las Vegas for almost 14 years. I moved here from a small college town in Indiana. My hometown has pretty much died. If you don't work the hospital, college or university, you're probably unemployed, underemployed, on government assistance or any combination. I love Las Vegas and the people are generally great; however, there is either a catholic or LDS church on practically every other street corner.

Is your state you live in a super religious state?

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 29, 2018:

Freaking Mormons everywhere. Highly disappointing in a town called Sin City.

To those who were raised in a religious household, what made you abandon your family's beliefs?

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 29, 2018:

My family is wrong. I was grateful that my mom was nicer to me once she joined a church but entirely resentful that she quit because of "the saving grace of Jesus" rather that because it was wrong to emotionally and physically abuse a little girl. I mean 'what would the people at church say'. Turns out on of those lovely church ladies let her husband molest her little boy. Then committed suicide when she was refused access to her grandchildren.

Is being forceful with ones' disbelief of religion any better than someone trying to convert one to ...

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 29, 2018:

I don't care about anyone's religious beliefs unless they're used as a weapon against someone else.

FACT CHECK: Does a New Law Allow Atheist Doctors to Refuse Care to Religious Patients?

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 29, 2018:

I don't think it would ever come up. I can't imagine that an atheist doctor or nurse would deny a person medical care.

Where do you spend your vacation?

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 29, 2018:

I try to take six weeks of vacation a year - 2 to see my father, 2 to see my son and 2 for my niece. So I go to Indiana, Reno and Florida. I'm lucky enough to have a 4-day work week, so I also take frequent short trips to California to visit friends. I leave for my first Florida trip of the year soon and instead of going to see my son this year we're going to Hawaii for a couple of weeks (7-day cruise and Waikiki).

One thing I was told very often when I was younger was "You'll get more right wing as you get ...

PhoebeCat comments on Jan 29, 2018:

I seem to move further to the left the older I get, but I was never what anyone would call conservative.