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When on various dating sites have had the issue of sending messages to women and not receiving any reply despite how long I might wait. I hold them no ill will for this I understand not everyone's into it and I'm not exactly Brad Pitt LOL. But this leads to the issue where it becomes very tedious waiting for a response before messaging another woman. That in turn creates the temptation to send out messages to multiple women that once which then in turn can lead to chatting with more than one woman at once even if only casually. As an open question to the women out there use there a certain code of conduct I should be conducting myself within this matter?

Lifestone 5 June 13
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Send messages to loads of women. Why not? If they're interested they'll reply, if not, they won't. Simples.

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Why are you waiting they can't tell how many women you talk to and waiting is foolish women are bitches i don't always answer ... although usually i do even if just to say no thanks but then men like you often wanna know why and then they insist even though you might say not my type or im looking for something else they press please tell me why please so i finally say to fat too old and i don't do average dick they then find it necessary to point out my flaws which usually i have already admitted ( i say im old fat and ugly why would you want me ) now i must be dried up bitter and have a canyon no man could fill so i really don't wanna answer after 50 or so exchanges that are predictible

2

You're literally playing the odds. Even though it's not the most courteous method , no response is a response, of sorts. Many seem to feel they don't want to deal with the possible repercussions of turning someone down - and do this, say nothing.

Try not to take any of it personally . The one who is interested will respond - but you need to keep at it , and throw a broad net !

1

Its been my experience on most sites that men tend to "carpet bomb" - message every picture that attracts them. Because they're all about quantity. Never read a profile to see if there's anything in common, only look at the pictures. Shallow behavior that wastes everyone's time. Since women are used to this, its kind of a given that nobody is actually talking to one person at a time.

On this site its my experience that men message me just to see if I'll respond. When I do, I never hear from them again. I was hoping there'd be less games here, but nope. SOS.

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My advice.....get a better picture...this one makes you look fat. The shirt looks old fashioned. Get a better haircut. I think you need a cut and style that will allow hair to make your forehead look smaller. I'm not insulting you...just trying to help.

Hmm... Fair point.

he is fat but you are right a better pic would help I often look at the pics men post and some women and think did he even look at the pic or did he just think no matter what he posted it was at least honest they look like they fell out of a deep sleep and didn't brush anything and took a snappy and posted it and we should all just think woo hoo I want that

@whiskywoman I say if one is advertising one should make the best presentation.

but they don't
@nicknotes

That is true....@whiskywoman

2

The person receiving messages is also left in the same dilemma. What if you get messages from multiple people at the same time? Should you respond to all of them? And then what if a polite response is interpreted as romantic interest when it is not? Online dating has these kinds of issues to work through. I tend to respond to messages because it's the polite thing to do and it often it leaves me feeling overwhelmed. It could be the women who don't respond to you are already chatting with someone else and aren't looking for additional attention. Therefore, my suggestion would be to go ahead and reach out to someone else.

of course respond to them all you are not in an exclusive relationship from the word hello

4

Oh, my dear sir. You must send messages to multiple women. That's so sweet of you to wait though. But there's absolutely nothing wrong with talking to several people at one time.

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Well I have done online dating for some time over my life. ONe thing is that once I too become a regular on the site, I do not respond to women who merely have no appeal with me. It is a very large data base and with that we have many desperate people including myself who initially felt that I was special because I was new. After a while only exceptional hits are addressed. Heck I would get so many hellos and you are neat and so on but to take the time to say no thanks , I did with special people.

EMC2 Level 8 June 13, 2018
1

Are you saying that you have messaged women showing potential romantic interest in them?

Or that you have simply messaged them with thoughtful conversation based on something they have said here in the community?

Remember, not every person believes they are obligated to respond at all to any person who messages them.

If you don't hear anything after a few days, that GENERALLY means she is not interested in having a private conversation with you. Could she simply say that? Yes. Will all people do that? No.

That's humans. That's online dating.

I was listening to a new series on one of my favorite podcasts, Death, Sex and Money, this morning. The show is going to follow several people (varied ages) throughout the summer who are currently navigating dating (varied methods). I got only about 15 minutes in so far, but I think it's going to be interesting.

1

I find myself in a similar position. I tend to have one conversation going at a time, but abandon them if all I get are one line non committal responses or no reply.

0

i have written really long messages and i hardly ever get any replies. i started sending only one liners... there's this one girl that had her friend's eyes and mouth blotched up with what looked like foundation color. i said////"wow your friend really over did it with the foundation".... i got a reply and we messaged about 10 times, exchanged numbers. she texted me and i called her. she said texts were best because her son will be asking who she's talking to. i said ok and we texted about 3 days about just nothing really. she agreed to let me take her to dinner...she said she's going on vacation for a week or so. we texted back and forth... then she wouldn't text back...then ended up texting once to my two texts... i made three more unanswered texts and i stopped texting. i dono what happened but she was sounding interested and i was but after not getting any more texts in 3-4 days i think i'm going to mark that off as a waste of time and move on. not sure what happened but i guess she lost interest before we even met each other. if she ends up texting me in a few days saying she's back in town, i may just not text back. i'm sure not going to be the one who texts her after three texts went unresponded to..

Classic case of ghosting. Combine her lack of manners, along with something about you that made her not want to keep moving forward, and, instead of saying something like "I've decided to not continue our little love affair," she ghosted. It sucks. It's not fair. It's not right. But, that's what it is.

If she reappeared, would you be willing to pick up where you left off?

Or would you properly tell her to take a flying f*ck through a rolling donut?

Guess what I'd say? 😉

@BlueWave i'll prob just not answer.

@Cherie44 i was thinking maybe she got back with her b/f or something or they are back talking.

3

When it comes to digital dating I don't see a problem with talking to multiple people. It's not like you're in public and ignoring someone. When one rises to the surface and you meet in person and make a one on one, real connection then back off from the others. There's someone for everyone they say. When you do send a message put some thought into it, reference something from their profile that interests you (look beyond the photos) and don't just cut and paste the same message. I may have dismissed Mr Right because all he sent was "Hi" or "yer hot". I wish you the best of luck.

@HighSeasKat "There's someone for everyone one..." So they say... You're right about that part. Last but not least, "yer hot"...really, you've gotten that message? ??

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You do not create an obligation by sending a message.........i have sent plenty to men, with an actual topic to discuss, even on this site (gasp!) And got nothing.

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Sending a message is a message, not a marriage proposal. If you want to talk to multiple people, send multiple messages

1

Start being clever. message 10 or 20 at the same time ! Then you have the advantage and sort through those that answered at your leisure ?   Simple.

Yep, the good, old "carpet bomb" strategy

@ghost_warlock
I do other things on the carpet ! Lol

0

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