Nice guys aren't liars.You're not stupid, and it's not a crime to give someone a chance. There's nothing wrong with trust.

What is wrong is taking advantage of someone's trust for your own selfish reasons or to stroke your own ego at their expense.

"Online" not so much a factor as just be cautious....Ted Bundy....lawyer, tall, good-looking, charming .....and con men are GOOD at what they do!

You have illustrated nicely why we should all approach online dating, just as we should any dating, with an attitude that it's on a trial basis and we should never rush into commitments (not that you did) with someone we've just met. Anyone can put on a wonderful act (charm offensive) for a while, but eventually some cracks appear in the facade, showing their true colors. What's that rule of thumb? ...never marry after anything less than a year of dating. Plus, when you get a gut feeling that some little detail with someone doesn't quite add up, check it out.

On a semi- side note, When I was online dating, it was stunning to me just how many people expressed interest in dating me long distance. That just never made sense to me, as your only face to face time would have to be planned ahead and could only be periodic. Sounds to me like a perfect setup for someone who has something to hide, or at the very least intends to remain guarded with you.

That must have been a great let down for you. You were right to check up. That is the oldest story in the book, but it is harder to conceal personal details in this digital age. Was he still living with his wife? If so that makes it all the more reprehensible. I wish you luck in finding another, truer match.

Yes, it's a dangerous world out there. You may be in a group of like minded people but there are dishonest and crazy people everywhere. I'm sorry you had to have that experience. Please remember that there are also honest and good people out there. Good luck to you. I wish you the best.

With all due respect. I Don't understand you calling him a really nice guy and wonderful man when he was dishonest from the outset. Whatever the state of his marriage, he lied by omission probably knowing full well you would have possibly/probably not "dated"him. Instead he got you to "date" him under false pretenses for 5 months. How long would this have gone on had you not snooped around? You blew his cover. He didn't confess. GREAT GUY??

You are not stupid. You could not have known. And he should be ashamed of himself. You did nothing wrong.

Hmmm. Liars on the Internet. Never would have guessed that.

Wow, 6 hours is a long way to date someone. He may have done that by design.

it happens to the best of us. when someone says they're separated it pretty much so mean since breakfast.when someone says they're single, there's a 50% chance they're not.

@Lisl Gee six hours away !! You are officially my hero !! Now, there is no reason to feel stupid, please don't. That's just a prejudice imposed by society. Years from today you will see it different, you will be happy that you did your part and at least you won't have to wonder forever what it could have been. Best of luck, turn the page and move on. Sometimes short memory is a healthy way to look at things.

Not stupid at all. You investigated for a reason. Your reasons were confirmed. You only interviewed him for 5 months which is a short time in the relationship world. Good for you. You did the right thing & are relatively unscathed.

I've fallen flat on my face recently too as I try to rebuild my life. Trying not to beat myself up too much... With you in this.??

Great. Good for you. OK to vent!!

After having read some of the comments below that you made, I feel reinforced in my initial comment below. It appears you are still in touch with him. All I can say is why????

That is awful! It should be a lesson to us all to be wary. It also points out it is better to share things earlier rather than later. I’ve been married and divorced twice and cannot fathom living with an ex post separation. That is just strange.

Sadly anyone can be anyone on the net. Ot I live 80 miles from Omaha and will probably be moving back there in the near future.

Yeah..always best google men first before accepting a date, and checking out their facebook page to see if their profile matches their reality.

P.S. No reason to feel bad about yourself, the con was good at his job!

Damn I'm sorry

That sucks. I had a catfish scare on here once. Would you mind sharing what background check you used? Feel free to pm me if you prefer.
I've background checked myself on various sites and have yet to come across a super accurate one. It's all pieces parts, some truth here, some there, but never in one place.