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I am 48. I give myself a 5% chance to fall in love again and that's probably a very optimistic number. I think the older you are the more picky you get so the chance of falling on love diminish every day. What do you guys think?

EggMcMuffin 5 Sep 13
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68 comments

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3

I went through a divorce at age 57 after over 30 years of trying to live with a woman with borderline personality disorder. At age 58, I married a bright, caring lady and we have been married for 23 years. She was 50 when we married.

13

I am 64 and i fall in love, on average, 3 times a day. the only drama is . by the evening i don't remember who with

11

Oh, silly, I turned 70 in July, am now in the Most Wonderful relationship of my entire life!

10

Nah! I'm 39 and the guy I'm seeing is 50. It is the best and healthiest relationship I've had. It's about connecting with the right person not age. Be you, be respectful and honest and the right person will respond to that.

6

Perhaps being more picky makes you not waste time with unsuitable people and makes it more likely that you will find someone.

6

I think you sound depressed and your chances of falling in love again are far greater than 5%. That does depend on being open to relationships and don't look for love, look for friendships. If a friendship is strong enough it might turn into love but friendships are good too. Stay positive.

OCJoe Level 6 Sep 15, 2018

I am not depressed, more like resigned...

6

As a liberal agnostic in The South I've had a hard time meeting people of "like minds". I'm also less likely to put up with a whole lot of crap anymore.

Yep, that's my other problem. I live in Florida, so i am not even interested in 98% of women around here.

@EggMcMuffin Yeah, Florida is way too full of the ones I won't date.

Yeah, this state is a dumpster fire. I haven't dated since I moved here.

6

I'll be 47 Wednesday and I give myself a 99.9% chance of finding love again. You always find what you look for.

@TheNoob

And I submit my toaster as a counter argument to your Odin. Or were you referring to Zeus? Or perhaps Osiris? Allah? Ganesh? Ra? Enlil? To which specific mythos are you referring - with over 320 million gods just in recorded human history, it is important to narrow it down a little. Otherwise I am going to assume you mean the one true God: His Nooliness, The Flying Spaghetti Monster. R'amen!

6

I'm days away from 48 and although I've never put a number to it, I can see how 5% might seem about right. However, I'm not sure it's the "falling in love" part that would be the problem, more the "putting up with someone else's quirks and them putting up with mine" that would be the issue.
I find happiness, joy, friendship, companionship all the time, but not in a "significant other" sort of way.
I'm okay with it; I'm pretty set in my ways, but I wouldn't say no to the concept.

You put it better and more succinctly than I did.

5

I think it's an entirely different ballgame at this age. I have great capacity for both loving & being loved, but falling down the rabbit hole over someone just isn't an option, nor even the ideal anymore. I can share my time, space, passions, brain & body when I please, then circle the wagons for a bit when I'm not feeling it. Nothing wrong or even lesser about that, just different & more reflective of where my heart & head are at this phase of life.

5

5% ? So there's a chance? Lol ?

5

I just went through a divorce. I am not looking for it to happen. At 50, my chances of finding someone are fair. If it happens, it happens. In the meantime, I will work on myself.

5

Never say never. I'm 46 and fell head over heels in love with a guy I met on this website. I was also extremely picky and doubtful I would meet anyone up to my standards again. So good luck, remain hopeful... it can happen.

She is right on that one... Love you to my dear <3 <3 <3

Wait you said you were 36.... Just kidding! 🙂

4

If you're expecting to be swept off your feet with adolescent wonder, and capture the excitement of the first time. It isn't going to happen. But if you approach the prospect of relationship with a more mature expectation, then fireworks are very much still on the agenda. Enjoying another's company is the key factor, you can never feel you're too old for that!

4

I fall in love almost every week. It's just that at my age I cannot afford to take a gamble and I think a lot of women feel the same way. Also at my age this "love" business can mostly be in your head. A man needs to think with the right head.

4

I think you're selling yourself short. You can meet someone and fall in love at any age.

4

Well, as a woman, I feel as if I'm in the same boat. For one thing, I don't make myself available to anyone. My work takes a lot of my energy and time. My cats take the rest. I'm an introvert and I value my time alone. Falling in love, truly in love, is something I don't think I have ever experienced in my life, and I wonder if I ever will.

BlackDove, you have an honest and great answer. Another person should find you desirable for this alone.

4

I think that is your mindset. I was 59 when I met a woman who I was physically attracted to, we are still together, I'm 64 now.

4

Don't be so sure. I was 53 when I met the love of my life. Yes I was picky too (and because of her even more so now). She was 47 and we had 16 wonderful years before she died. Of course luck plays a big part but you need to remember actions increases the likelihood. Don't sit still!

4

I am 81 and I do not even want to "fall in" love again. Been there, done that a few times and do not want, or need, it again. Love and be loved, yes, just not "fall in" love. Your mileage may vary.

4

I thought I was done with all that too. At 57 I went on a hook-up site. Through with love but not yet dead and I had needs.
Then I met her, it was electric! Never before had I felt that instant lighting bolt of connectivity. She felt it too and although it was stormy and tempestuous. It has to rank as the greatest love affair of my life. Yes she left me for her ex. Yes he had more money. Yes I was an asshole but so was she. Yes it hurts like a bitch every day and yes I would do it again in a New-York minute.
You are a long time dead sunshine. Never say never.

4

47 here are I couldn’t put a percentage on it. If feels like the odds are low but it only takes one person out of the blue to change everything.

3

I don't think you become more picky...I just think your tolerance for BS greatly decreases.

3

I am not hopeful about being in a relationship when I live in a conservative, uneducated, Trump loving corridor of churches. There is a church near every school, more than one on nearly every street and the few single men I have met want to change me into their idea of a traditional lady but pay my own way.

I am paying my own way and having shit my own way as well.

I do not know any other non believers near my age of any gender. Added to the above problems is that I am related to people of color and will not tolerate that racist bullshit my area is so fond of.

I get up at 3am for work so go to bed too early to socialize. Sometimes I think I may be lonely for adult companionship as I spend my off hours with my grandkids since they live here but even they are outgrowing me.

It is true that I am more intolerant of things I accepted when I was young but I spent a lot of years just being alive rather than living. At least I respect myself now.

3

Love isn't hard. Negotiating an adult relationship is the mind killer.

3

I don’t think that’s true , the older you get , the more you want someone by your side to share things with

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