I feel so fake and lonely. I hang on to family and friends I love but can't stand. My sisters both have never rejected our biological father, even though he's a diddler goof.
I hosted a dinner today for Thanksgiving weekend, they brought some great food and I made stuffing and served wine. My niece and nephew mostly played on their own, because I guess I was exhausted from babysitting.
I think my little gathering went well. It just leaves me feeling empty and alone that we have so much hate between us, in spite of all we have in common and all we share. I love them. But also hate them almost as much.
They are good aunties to my son and daughter, but I sometimes wonder what kind of idiot i am for having them in my life, even though we all work hard at being kind to each and not speaking about my disgusting father whch we are all share together.
Then there are my friends. I love them all. Most of them are cool. But, one of them, (one of my closest) is very Religious and sometimes sides with right wingers on topics. We are open and honest with each. We try to occaisionally convert each other. I preach about socialism and science.
We stick together and accept each other because of all we have been through and done for each other.
I feel that being her friend makes me a traitor to my lgbt+ friends. Even though many of them are out of the closet and also remain friends with vile righties.
On a scale of 1 to 10
10 being digusting, and 1 being just human. How terrible a person am I?
1
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3 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I seem to have successfully cut them loose.
I feel better for it. I still miss them and my kids do too, but I know at least we are not associated with some freaks that are okay with incestuous pedophiles.
They should not let people who they know are pedophiles around their friends with kids, or around their store that attracts kids.
They should not let their my niece and nephew see him as a grandpa.
It took time to let go, but I have and I feel better.
Any one who takes my sisters' side, is a creepy loser that sees incestuous pedophiles as people not monsters.
Sisters or not, they are traitors to me.
Sisters or not, they put their kids and other kids at risk.
My dad, our dad, might have outlived his sex offender registration status (only 10 years) but, I don't trust him.
I should have killed him as a young teen.
Obviously the justice system and multiple adults do not give a fuck about the well being of children.
I felt bad before. I don't now.
I have concluded that if they accept my biodad in their lives, then they accept his behavior too.
They themselves might be just as twisted, and if they are not, they still do not give a shit about my niece and nephew. He babysits them. FFS.
I no longer need reassurance of my humanity. I prefer to be cold and full of hate than some moron who will not protect the defenceless.
MelanieSheldon
Level 5
Dec 26, 2018
0
I'm sorry to say this, but who the heck are you to demand your sisters reject your father?!
AnneWimsey
Level 9
Oct 7, 2018
1
Thanks. I'm looking for feed back.
Personally it's just bothersome they associate with a known pedophile because he happens to be a blood relative. I wonder why keep them around.
I let them choose. Never pressured them to pick my side. Just wondering how right I am to to keep them in my life. And I wonder are they the good people they are to be.
@MelanieSheldon because they Chose to be associated with their father, you are "cutting off your nose to spite your face" here......and again, who are you to judge if they are "good people" or not? You are intrinsically good, or not, it has very little to do with y our parents, however fl awed they may be. Unless you subscribe to "condemn three generations for the sins of the fathers BS"?
Causing Yourself anguish, ya know?
@AnneWimsey. You must love pedophiles.
@AnneWimsey being an incestuous pedophile is a lot more than being flawed.
@MelanieSheldon that is quite an ASSumption you are so charmingly jumping to....my father molested (full rape) me from 2-4ish, , until my mother caught him. Then, she stayed with him & disliked me. So maybe you should not sling around your stupid " thoughts".
Just human, and very much so. We all have complicated relationships, and kudos to you for recognizing the ambiguities.
bleurowz
Level 8
Oct 7, 2018
1
Cool. I prefer having these imperfect relationships to not. Thank you.❤
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