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Would you consider yourself difficult to get along with, deal with, or live with? Have others told you or referred to you as “difficult”?

I’m a self-professed difficult person. Other people would call me “difficult” too, including my parents. I guess it’s mostly because I don’t follow conventions or norms. My reactions or responses to things tend to diverge from the unexpected. Obviously, I put off a lot of people but some are weirdly attracted to this sort of personality. I can get along with certain people as long as they don’t hang around me too much. I do great with long distance relationships. It does require quite a thick skin to be around me.

graceylou 8 Oct 25
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67 comments

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7

"Complicated" was the word used by last guy I dated. Lol. And the one before that. But I'm an easy going person to live with. Wait... I live by myself now... Nevermind?

I've been called complicated a number of times....I just consider it a compliment - means you and I dance to the beat of our own drum - and that should make us "interesting"..."fascinating"..."hilarious" at the very least????? 😉 😉

@Lavergne
I do too now also. ?

6

I'm only "difficult" to those with sensitive, easily bruised egos who need me to 1) respond to them they way they expect or desire; and/or 2) tone down my signifiers of intellect.

If you don't descend into a resentful funk when I don't laugh at your jokes or want to talk about what's on TV--or erupt into a peevish mass of barbs when you hear me use a word you don't know or structure my speech in a sophisticated manner--we're golden. Otherwise, fuck off.

Hey hi

6

I can relate to some of what you say. I am easy to get along with until I’m not. Most people like me until they try to control me, then I can become difficult if they don’t back off. I also seem to buck the norms put on us by society and I have no patience for sheeples. If all that means that I am difficult, then so be it. It is a badge that I would be happy to wear.

5

I'm quirky and don't trust super easy. I'm generally not super affectionate or good at flattery. I like things done my way. So, I guess one could call me difficult.

But... I fiercely love the people I have claimed. I am willing to do the work to have things done my way and will never ask someone else to do something I wouldn't. I can be sweet and considerate to my people and try to be kind in general. So, that should totally make up for being difficult, right?

4

I am overly friendly and accommodating...but I don't let people take advantage of my good nature or kindness. I am pretty unforgiving if I am betrayed or not respected. I am tough when it comes to work situations and I don't take a lot of bullshit, but I don't consider that difficult. I compromise and like to work out solutions in my work and personal life. I like to get to know people and know a little about a lot of things just so I can have something to talk about. I am easy to live with...I adapt easily...once you are my friend, you will have my loyalty and trust and love.

4

"You need to dumb down your conversation," a man said within 10 minutes of meeting. "Men are intimidated by your intelligence and class." I was appalled.

"Speak for yourself," I replied. "Obviously you are intimidated by my intelligence. I refuse to act stupid to mollify the insecure ego of a sexist man."

Over dinner, I enjoyed baiting him. He complained bitterly about having a female supervisor. A year earlier, he flew to Russia to find a subservient bride. "None of the girls would go home with me," he said sadly. I felt delighted.

With a master degree in human resources management, I explained:

The Civil Rights Act of 1964 is a civil rights and labor law in the United States that outlaws discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, or national origin.

At the jazz concert after dinner, I was deliberately rowdy with my applause to offend him as an uppity woman. After the concert, he wasn't speaking to me.

"I refuse to listen to your feminist religion," he wrote the next day.

"The last time I checked, feminism is not a religion," I replied. "Although you are two years older than me, you sound like you lived 100 years ago. You are a dinosaur. Leave me alone."

That went well.

I find that men are attracted to my intelligence rather than intimidated by it. But what you described sounds like my older brother. He told me that the woman he wanted to find as a spouse would be nothing like me, meaning not intelligent, not educated, not opinionated, not someone who would stand up for herself. In other words, someone who is easily controlled, a good obedient wife, just like what my parents thought I should be like. I’m a huge disappointment to my parents.

@graceylou A huge disappointment to my parents too, you choose the people you get on with you do not choose your parents, therefore you are no more likely to please them than you are any random stranger.

4

My boss , once told me , I was too logical to be a Federal employee . For the. most part , I've given up actually sharing a residence with others . What seems logical to me , doesn't seem to please others , and vise versa . I find the very most wasteful people , are the ones who complain about not being able to pay their bills , but they feel,you should give them what you've worked so hard to earn . Do nice things for anyone , and they seem to hate you for it . Ask for help from someone you've helped , when they needed it , and they're anything but happy about returning a favor .

I totally get that.

are you saying that most people are assholes?

4

I'm sometimes "out there", quirky, and have an odd sense of humor. But general consensus is, that I'm easy, and fun to be around. No drama. Though I can be overly independent perhaps, and have trouble asking for help. I've gotten better with that over time , I think.

I have trouble asking for help too. Hard to trust others if you've been burned a time or two.

@zeuser Actually, my independence stems not from mistrust, but the confidence in myself, to be able to do most things that need doing. So I figure, why bother someone else to help ?
But I get satisfaction out of helping others when need be, and I realized I needed to be more generous with my choices, and let others get that same satisfaction in helping me !

4

That totally depends on who in my life you ask. I'm typically pretty laid back, but some people bring out my inner asshole self. May the odds forever be in peoples' favor.

4

I consider myself prickly or spiky. 10% absolutely love me, large % like and are amused, 10% are really off put by me even when I'm trying to behave. I'm a tad mischievous and fun loving and it occasionally gets me in trouble...

4

I rarely consider myself.

3

My hot button triggers are being condescended to (patronized) or dismissed/ignored.
I am also fairly clueless at picking up social cues around me. Most of the time if someone flat out tells me something I'll adjust accordingly. There are some exceptions. Your reason has no logic, I will not accommodate or ignore racism, misogyny, bullying, bigotry, or generally being mean for no reason.
I spend a great deal of time in my own head, it is just prettier there. I am pretty sure all of that makes me difficult to some people.

3

Probably so because I won't tolerate idiocy.

3

You know what, fuck that, other people are difficult.

3

My (narcissistic) father once told my then-fiancé that I was “difficult.” My (sociopathic) now-ex jumped on that bandwagon and spent years telling me how unreasonable and mean I was for asking CRAZY things like that he not steal from his family.
The people who find me “difficult” think that because I have this terrible habit of having my own needs and feelings and the ridiculous idea that those things should matter to people who say they love me.
Sorry. You hit a nerve.

I totally understand. My parents called me difficult because I dated someone who was of African heritage and I refused to date only Asians. I went against their outdated and bigoted ideas and religious hypocrisy. I have always been stubborn and stood by my convictions because i support equality, justice, and fairness. I rebelled because I hated being treated differently from my brothers. I also tried to help the poor, I was always an animal activist, and I supported the LGBTQ community. Apparently, doing so annoyed a lot of people. I’m still very much the same today. I still fight for the underdog, the oppressed, the persecuted. Most people in my environment don’t care about these things as long as their status quo and ignorance serve them well. I challenge people and because of that I get labelled difficult.

3

I am highly quirky. I do well with kind and reasonable people that do not feel that the world is over if they are wrong about something.

3

Yes ..same ..but it's not the conventional"difficult". Reckon it's because I don't back down ..and fit the mould .Have always been "unconventional" ...and that is what defines me .

3

I most likely am.

3

People have one of two reactions to me. One, they love me, and I mean they really love me. Two, they despise me, actively dislike me, throw sand in my gears kind of dislike. Group one outnumbers group two. So far.

3

Just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ease of getting along with others. As an introvert, I am easily annoyed by people who try to hard to get into my space without good reason. Some people are offended by my aloofness. Whatever.

3

I’m only difficult if I know that another person is trying to take advantage of me, or I want to be sure that I get my point across.

3

I have spent most of my life alone, but know how to assess a person rather quickly. People tend to be like bees. The fuzzy ones tend to be laid back while the bald ones are looking for a reason to sting. Other than that, I can tell in five minutes whether or not someone is worth my time.

@Donotbelieve.
Has it been five minutes yet?

3

Oh you horrible people! Be nice.

Never!!!

3

Yes, I don't fit in to the ''norm'', & never have. It puts many off, but I no longer care as I'm happier as a loner. I don't need people around me, or too near.

Me too. It doesn’t bother me one bit if people don’t like me, or hate me even.

@Donotbelieve I don’t know. Depends on the person or the group I’m encountering. My family/relatives, definitely, I prefer to be disliked. In most cases, I just prefer some level of civility without a love fest. And everyone knows not to hug me.

2

For a twisted little weirdo, I'm surprisingly easy to get along with. It's the combination of an extroverted personality and a reasonable degree of empathy, I guess.

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