That's a complex one. My work schedule is weird, and I work 12 hour shifts. I might see someone in person every other weekend, at first. If things go well, I could definitely arrange more time.

I don't think a couple phone calls per week is out of the question, and a text or two each day would be nice. Of course, I know things come up, and life happens, but barring extreme circumstances, I don't think these expectations are absurd.

Also consider that I am twice your age. I don't deal with the insecurities of a lovesick tweny-something, and I don't need constant validation. I've also been through breakups. I know I will survive on my own.

Text daily. Phone when mutually convenient. Try to get together at least one full weekend a month, preferably two.

That's how it worked when I was dating a guy from near Leeds (just over 70 miles away.) Unfortunately, he was closeted and leading a double life. I often found that family and even friends took precedence over us spending time together, because the two weren't allowed to mix. It got to the stage where we hadn't seen each other for nearly 8 weeks. Helping his friend fit some double glazing was more important.

No matter what the distance, I think there should be some (electronic) communication almost daily. Even if it's just to say 'Morning!' There does need to be an understanding that the other party might not reply right away if they're busy, but as a minimum, I would expect some communication almost every day, and start questioning whether it was actually a relationship if that wasn't regularly forthcoming.

Twice a week seems fair. Either on the weekend, or whenever you both find the time.
There's a lot of factors that go into it, but I'll say this, I'm an introvert, and dating one can be tough.
Solitude is where the introvert thrives, but loneliness and depression also live there.
Some people have a hard time getting out of their shell, sometimes it takes a warm invite to make it happen.
But any good relationship should ebb and flow with little resistance.
Lots of resistance is often a sign of disinterest. ...or a selfish person.

Quality over quantity for me. I'm not afraid of what I can't see or hear.

I'm not one to text just for the sake of texting (beyond a hey howya doin). I could maybe put up with some idle texting throughout the day, if it's not excessive and there's some communication value there. But if it's a bunch of texting just to text, it gets old fast.

One ritualized phone call per day gets the job done nicely. Not even necessarily once daily, either--i could be okay with as little as once per week, depending on what's going on schedule and relationship-wise. Sometimes even a daily call gets boring and feels like a chore because you have nothing new to say.

Im inclined toward longish emails. I'm a better writer than speaker, so it suits me. This doesn't work for everyone--even not many, I'd say.

I adapt to others' proclivities as far as I am able and comfortable, and I appreciate the same consideration. If you don't take notice of my patterns and preferences, you are probably not for me. If you take notice but make no motion to accommodate in any way, you are probably not for me. I also speak freely about what I want and don't want.

If you're going to lose interest in me or cheat, I want you to get it over with so I can find out and we can stop this and move on. I don't want to try to keep you on the hook or faithful against your own inclination, by forcing a bunch of communication that has an agenda. Not that I think my texts or calls or emails would be very effective to that end. If you think you need to keep me on the hook or faithful with forced communication, you're definitely not for me.

I don't tend to get lonely or clingy, so waiting is usually not a problem for me.

I think if someone texts or calls less than every other day that's not a relationship. I understand people get busy but it takes less than a minute to send a good morning text or how was your day. If you don't have time to be in a relationship then don't make the other person feel bad because they are trying to be. If someone acts uninterested I will move on.

I feel if you're in a relationship with someone, a romantic, passionate love relationship, there are certain assumptions you can make:

You're interested in each other
You want to have contact

From your post, it's difficult to tell how deep your relationship(s) was/were, but it could be that you just weren't that into them and therefore perceived their regular contacts as being clingy. For me, especially in the early stages of a relationship with someone I'm excited about, there is a great deal of communication/contact. I was also in a 15 year marriage and there was daily email and text contact and none of it was considered clingy.

If you told me (the person you presumably care about) not to text because you're busy, I would perceive that as a sign of disinterest. IDK if this helps or not. Hope so. =]

I don't think there is a set formula. If I was really into them I would hope to connect daily. If I told them I was busy on a particular day I would hope they respected that caution

There are countless variables. Here is my pretend situation. By "relationship," that means we are in a committed, exclusive relationship and we've been seeing each other six months, we do not live together, nor work together. We live 35 miles apart. We have a similar work schedule.

1-4 total overnights together (at both homes) per week - obviously taking LIFE and mounds of stuff that would alter this into consideration.

1-2 phone "nothing is up" calls per week - obviously taking LIFE and mounds of stuff that would alter this into consideration.

1-2 texts per day (obviously getting into a conversation leads to more texting) - obviously taking LIFE and mounds of stuff that would alter this into consideration.

Either extreme of the above would be a red flag for me. See them less than twice a week without a good reason? Nope. Phone calls I could live without. Less than 7 total texts per week? Nope. Won't do.

Calling me at work every day to just hang on the phone and chat -- no please.

Texting me every hour. I'm getting a tad claustrophobic.

Not being able or willing to spend a night or a Saturday apart -- even though we are both free and available -- now I can't breathe.

For me, I need to know I am extremely important to my partner. But, I cannot be the ONLY person or thing important to my partner. Nothing will cause me to create distance faster.

Nightly phone calls were crucial for me. Had a long distance relationship/marriage for 10 years.

Clingy can be a problem especially if you are basically an independent person. It drove me crazy. Especially when he would call me and insist on knowing just exactly where I was when I was not home to answer the phone. Distant is an enigma to me. It’s kind of “why bother”. I think you might think about how you would like the relationship to be. Work on that and then enjoy. Good luck. I hope you find what makes you happy......and your partner.

Ultimately, I think it just depends on the person. Some people require more attention and some less...

If in a relationship? I want to talk to them daily and I don't think that's clingy. Once or twice a month doesn't constitute a romantic relationship to me. I have friends I hear from 30+ times a day. If I'm intimate with someone, they can drop a DM a day, I think.

Follow your heart and do what's right for you.

Not easy to answer but here goes. I would not want to text or phone all the time without exception as it has and does piss me right off even if someone else does it who is out for a meal with. the flip side depends I think on how much we care about each other or have known each other. I like to be spontaneous so there isn't set times but if I love someone I just wouldn't leave it weeks but contact them when mostly there's something to actually tell them or to see if they're ok. my mums 86 and I ring her every morning but I didn't use too. I think personally there can be way too much and way too little but it would depend on the individual and your relationship with them. sorry if that's a crap answer. is a stalker just someone you don't like?

Well it kinda depends on what other things draw upon your time. If you don't get to see them in person, then texting or calling is fine.

In a new relationship there is a lot to talk about, learning about each other.

I don't think there is a specific number, but it is important that you give the other person space when it comes to your expectations. I generally don't require any immediate response to text messages, just my way of sharing what's going on.

If the other person doesn't have the time to text or call back very often, it can just mean that they are busy, so give them a break.

Red Flag- People who get mad when you don't respond right away, or demand a certain level from you when you don't have time or energy for it.

If you need an immediate response, say so, or just pick up the phone and call the old fashioned way.

Everyone is different. I personally like to at least exchange an email or text daily. It only takes a few minutes of your time and honestly, if you don't care about them enough to spare a few minutes each day, then what's the point?

As I said though, everyone is different. I personally am an affectionate person, I enjoy cuddling and holding hands. The physical contact is a huge part of why I want to be in the relationship in the first place.

I personally would try to visit once a week. Sending messages throughout the week with moderation of course it depends on the situation. I would try not to smother the woman I chose to date so that she doesn't feel I'm dependant.

Around 50 miles I would expect to see them about 3 times a month, and hear from them, even an email 5-6 times a week,

Each person is different. You would have to ask your partner that question.

For me, I would like to at least hear from them about once a week, and see them a little every other weekend or so. But then again, I'm not high maintenance.