I’ve posted about “Toxic masculinity”, and I’ve asked for your input about similar derivatives for Toxic… femininity, Homosexuality, etc. Interesting responses! My reason for asking these questions and soliciting input is really more than an academic interest. I’m involved in a mentoring program through the local Police, targeting young men who have little to no family provided guidance in socialization. I’ve had some success, and some failures, but all with amazing support from the Police, Fire department, and Civil Servants from WPAFB. Most of us “Mentors” are veterans. So! This is becoming our “go to” source for any situation, and group activities. I’d like to hear from anyone who has read it, or used it for similar purposes:
[artofmanliness.com]
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Laudable that you mentor blossoming young males on the precipice of manhood. We have virtually no positive rituals for ascending into adults. Graduating from high school has merit but little joy other than relief. Drivers license is one that requires access to a car. It is our cultural lack of ritual that leaves our young men seeking peer approval in nefarious actions. Props to you 'ma man for your good deeds.
Mooolah
Level 8
Jan 29, 2019
2
Hmmm...Toxic = poisonous
poi·son·ous
(of a substance or plant) causing or capable of causing death or illness if taken into the body.
You must have a different definition?
GuitarDoctor
Level 7
Jan 29, 2019
1
Yeah.....
Kind of confusing..... isn't it?
Damn, brother. You sure do whip up a big shit storm with this "toxic masculinity" topic of yours. A shame people can't keep from going off on trollful tangents like this. (did l just coin a new word... 'trollful' ?)
That is an interesting site. And l think it is awesome you are doing this, there are a lot of kids out there that need help in this department for lack of parenting. I am going to see if there is a group like this around here. ?
Captain_Feelgood
Level 8
Jan 29, 2019
2
btw--I commend you for mentoring...I was a Big Sister and it is hard work...
thinktwice
Level 8
Jan 28, 2019
1
How to get the savoir-faire of James Bond? lol...
I think if you stick to the basics, and mirror what you teach, it is better than nothing...manners, kindness, respect, and treating others like you want to be treated...anger management, not jumping the gun, looking at more than one point of view, etc. Encouraging helping others, look out for the weak and the elderly, follow your gut and not the crowd...
Toxic masculinity is basically being an asshole because movies and other sources promote unhealthy ideas for men: don't cry, fight, cat call women, etc. If it hurts someone, it is toxic.
Also, excellent article on the 100 books...each teaches an important message and is important for cultural references. We are losing our commonality and education is one way to get it back.
thinktwice
Level 8
Jan 28, 2019
2
Yeah....
Well, you've got to get the attention of a thirteen year old.... 
@bigpawbullets that is indeed a tough age! My little "sister" was 13 and it was hell...but I loved it! lol
When you say "success" or "failure" what exactly do you mean was/is the outcome?
AnneWimsey
Level 9
Jan 28, 2019
1
Really good question.... stand by.
Success = remaining in school... no more police interaction.... controlling the innate violent reaction to anything you don't like. Channeling aggressive reaction or behavior into productive activity.
@bigpawbullets wow, impressive high goals...I sometimes have trouble controlling my temper @ 70...no police ever needed, though.....
It’s just an annoying buzzword that regressives try to shove down people’s throats. That’s why it gets the rejection that it does. Do some men act in ways that could be described as the word suggests. Yes. But they want to make it out like it’s all men and anything and everything remotely masculine must be toxic. If you’re born with a penis, you automatically must be ashamed of yourself for it. After all you had a choice to be a man before you were born, remember?
MrControversy
Level 7
Jan 28, 2019
1
Who's talking about being ashamed of having a penis?
I find it hilarious that there are people who think that "toxic masculinity" means than all men are toxic and that it is only men who are subject to bad behavior. What a deep and pervasive ignorance that demonstrates. Tell me: if I tell you there are toxic plants, are you going to regale me with all the evidence that shows insects can be toxic as well? Are you going to try and tell me to stop being harsh and judgmental towards plants because not all of them are toxic? Seriously: stop being a fool.
Toxic masculinity refers to a type of masculinity that has overtaken our culture. It is a type of masculinity that promotes bad behavior. It is not necessary for people who are born male or anyone else to participate in toxic masculinity because it is a cultural phenomenon, and a series of attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors that can be unlearned. There are plenty of examples of positive masculinity, such as those who go out of their way to mentor the young, instead of bullying them or trying to convince them that women are bad.
@ejbman Thinking about this a bit further, obviously the Gillette commercial has sparked these conversations---which is exactly what the commercial was intended to do---but due to limitations inherent to the medium of a 60-second video, some people are misinterpreting the message. Dramatizing the message as briefly as possible, the Gillette commercial makes it look like men who would take a stand against bullying, harassment, or sexism are the exception and not the rule. In the commercial, we see a crowd of men but just one steps out to break up a fight, for example. I'd like to think that the OVERWHELMING MAJORITY of American men, by this point in time, would know what has come to be described as "toxic masculinity" if they observed it and it is men like that who are the rule, not the exception.
I think unfortunately we are seeing lines becoming blurred in this country as we now live in a time when the man holding the highest office in the land can literally BRAG that he sexually assaulted women with impunity and way too many people invented ways to dismiss that. Conservatives have found themselves in a position wherein supporting certain candidates, they are forced to excuse and dismiss sometimes contemptible behavior. We saw that in the Kavanaugh hearings of course.
@DeStijl You make excellent points. Thank you. I'm not going to fall into the "I'm one of the good ones" trap, because I have my own faults too and plenty to learn. But having said that, I'm horrified by our "president", MRAs, anti-feminists, deniers of male privilege and white privilege, etc. I'm glad the Gillette ad helped spark more conversation, and at the very least, caused the men needing the most help with emotional intelligence to identify themselves by their hue and cry, LOL.
I've seen your posts and I have found too many of the comments to be really worrisome or downright disturbing. You're using the AOM website as your "go-to" for mentoring??? You might as well use Maxim magazine. Why not The Good Men Project? [goodmenproject.com]
DeStijl
Level 6
Jan 28, 2019
3
My comments are "worrisome" to you?
"Down right disturbing"?
Why????
@bigpawbullets No, some of the comments to your posts. I would not want to have anything to do with some of these people. I expected more from a website for atheists.
@DeStijl
Uhm.... you'll have to be more specific than that.
Is it me? Or those responding to my posts?
What exactly do you find upsetting?
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