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I’m an atheist. I’m dining with a catholic friend. She is telling me about ‘God’s plan’ and how he has set our paths in life. Suddenly she starts to choke on her food. Should I a) perform the Heimlich manoeuvre or b) pray for her.

Jez3 5 Feb 10
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7 comments

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1

Offer comforting words, like, "I'm sure it's just part of God's plan and maybe He's calling you to him, but since I don't believe . . ." And give her the Heimlich.

2

Oooohhh, tough one! Maybe (quickly!) ask her to indicate her choice by holding up one finger or 2?

0

Two redneck hillbillies were in a restuarant when a woman at the next table started to choke on her food. One of the rednecks immediately grabbed her pulled down her pants and licked her bare backside. She got such a shock that she gasped and the food shot out of her mouth and she recovered. Second redneck to first "thats the first time I have seen the hind lick maneouvre done."

1

No just stand over her and yell
“ Where’s your god now!! “

Or if that’s not your style you can also do the whole
“ Yes baby you’re going to heaven!!! You’re going to be with god!! I’m so happy for you!!
And then start speaking in tongues.

Either way would be great but don’t expect any sex afterwards if she survives.
Actually it would be best to just move along it might take awhile for her to get over it. Just saying ?

Shame about the sex, but maybe I could request that in my prayers for saving her ? Well, you never know !?

@Jez3 You’re a little twisted ??

3

Just tell EMS, when they arrive, that you offered to help her, but she didn't want to talk about it.

You know how us women are at times. Hehehe... ?

Ok that’s fucking funny ???

Well if she dies at least she thinks she’s going to a better place. Still leaves me to pick up the bill though !

2

Depends on how good of a friend she is.

4

Point out that you are an atheist, then ask her to choose.

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