I have a question I'd really like some input on. Decades ago I worked with a man with whom I had a really strong connection. Nothing romantic ensued, because I really liked his wife a lot and never crossed any lines. Now, over 30 years later, he's a widower and I'm single and we live 1000 miles apart. We're also both retired. I contacted him recently and mentioned I might be on his side of the country and I'd buy him lunch. I got a cordial response the next day.
So that's the context. Now the question: I always had really strong romantic feelings for him that I kept secret. If I visit him it will probably be the last time we see each other. So, if the lunch is going well, do I go out on a limb and let him know how I feel, or do I just keep my mouth shut? It's not like we have a lot of time left -- we're both in our 70's, so we also wouldn't have a lot of time together, either.
If you think I should go for it, what should I do??? I'd especially appreciate advice from the men here on the site.
Thanks so much.
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Why are you even asking this question?
Tell him the truth.
What is the worst that can happen?
If you can't be honest in your 70s then what has been the point of your life?
chazwin
Level 6
May 9, 2019
1
Excellent point!!
Firstly see do you still have the same feelings when you meet. People can have imperfect memories . if you have a good interaction and feel the same way say something. Relate some story of a shared memory or experience and that should present an opportunity. Which ever way it goes enjoy the excitement of the moment.
Tooreen
Level 7
May 9, 2019
1
Remember you had the crush but maybe he did not feel the same. So see how lunch goes, remember that calling him and inviting him for lunch is already your move, so maybe you should not add the declaring of feelings, If I were him I should know it by now so just wait for his move to show if he is interested or not in a serious relationship or he's just going for the friendship or just not to let you down.
Merseyman1
Level 9
May 8, 2019
1
Are you kidding!? Go for it! The worst can he can say is "I'm not interested." And that feeling can change in the future. Why wait? Sieze every oppourtunity!
MakeItGood
Level 7
May 8, 2019
1
A lot really depends on how the lunch goes. If you guys are clicking or whatever then do the "embarrassed" you know I used to have a little crush on you confession and see where it goes.
If you guys are still clicking after that then invite him to dinner before you go home. Just make sure you have a day or preferably 2 between lunch and prospective dinner, and see how receptive he would be to a LDR if things are still going well.
Just don't put to much pressure on yourself. If things are going well you'll find natural places in the convo to talk about it.
1of5
Level 8
May 8, 2019
3
Everything said right there. ☝
Specially the self pressure thing. Don't go into it with high hopes, cause then it's not a big let down if he's not receptive. Don't let it get to you. Go in with low expectations. Just be your same old fun, happy self without trying to hard. Be natural. Fake is a big turn off. (as I'm sure you know) Just have fun with it.
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