Why is it we all try so hard when we are looking for a relationship with the opposite sex, we try to maintain our looks our weigh, our style, but after we catch them and we settle down, why do you think that people let themselves go. I have heard both sides say, wow, he/she wasnt that way when we 1st got married. Am i being too unrealistic to think i married a woman that was a size 8 and now she is a size 18 (just an example please don't get all over me for that. What our your thought, would love to hear from both sidess mens prospective as well as womens.
2
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16 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I consider your size, my size, innocent bystanders' size None of Your Business, or mine. I fall in love with the Person, not the cloak enveloping them. You should try it!
AnneWimsey
Level 9
July 8, 2019
3
You have a point although I would say it is not limited to appearance.
People become complacent or worse yet, stop trying altogether to be pleasing once they've caught their person.
For example, none of my ex's got much bigger after we got together but they certainly stopped being charming once we were firmly together.
Perhaps you have gotten with women that let themselves go physically rather than socially.
Lucy_Fehr
Level 8
July 8, 2019
0
Said by an Italian comedian :
Single women are almost always thinner than married women .
Bcz single women return home from work , take a look of what's in the refrigerator and they go to bed .
Married women return home from work , they take a look of what's in bed , and they open the refrigerator 
Pralina1
Level 9
July 7, 2019
5
I don't look for relationships...they find me...
seattlepanda
Level 7
July 7, 2019
1
Good question.. I remember the older guys referring to various wives as ‘hide-a-hog’s.’ Sex is a workout … until the ‘enjoyment of food’ apparently takes its place. I was more careful than my wife, and a lot more physical. Called her ‘Pee Wee’ in the beginning … 30 years & two kids later ..I’ve seen worse, but never called her that again..
We’d joke about a neighbor woman who went through 3 husbands on our watch. “Notice how good she’s looking?” “She’s on the hunt!” One marriage later ..and it took her largest horse to haul her ass around their farm...
Then there’s the bloated guys, looking like they’ve swallowed a watermelon whole … waddling around with goatees and long-shorts. A stomach W/ legs, ghastly.. So it breaks both ways.
I want to live, do all the shit I’ve always done.. And if I find a mate, will expect the same ~
Varn
Level 8
July 7, 2019
1
It’s important to maintain once you settle down with a partner. A wise partner knows that continuing to implement good lifestyle choices keeps the flame lit.
There are elements, such as aging, which are beyond control. However, a healthy diet and active lifestyle are controllable at any age.
webbew1
Level 7
July 7, 2019
3
With the comfort of a relationship comes the attitude of assumptions of tolerance.
It's also called "complacency".
We assume that we're loved "just the way we are" so we get careless with our diet and exercise routines.
Couple that with the abundance of junk foods available, the ads that favor consumption, and we have an obesity epidemic on our hands.
Further couple that with...as we age our metabolism slows down. our desire for the fitness "high" wanes...and thus we "let ourselves go".
Robecology
Level 9
July 7, 2019
0
All of that is true. However, I'm skeptical of metabolism slowing with age solely as a result of aging itself. The research supports this as well. As we get older, we slow down and therefore our metabolism follows. If people climbed trees and somersaulted at age 50 like we do when we're 11, I'm sure our metabolism speed would slow down less, or not be affected at all.
We don't stop doing these activities because we are unable to. We stop doing them at some point and, as a result, we can no longer do them.
I notice my appetite increasing, on days I hit the weights harder, and it's still hard to avoid a drop in pounds. I come from a family of people who all struggle with weight, and live an inactive lifestyle which is opposite to mine.
For anyone who has always been active, I strongly believe that boredom, unhappiness and depression lead to inactivity and loss of interest in staying fit. You'd have to give up on life to some extent in order to give up on yourself.
I am not vain, but i eat healthy and exercise, I love my wife even when she went from a size 8 to a size 18, all i said to her if your happy I love you, if you want to lose weight i will help you, so after 52 years of marriage she is still a size 10, I am just saying after the thrill of the catch, some people get too comfortable and figure hell i am married why do I have to keep up my appearance, I got my man/woman.
TonyCarl1
Level 6
July 7, 2019
0
Its possible because i don't drink alcohol or smoke r do drugs, and i eat sensibly, exercise, and I drink only water, I meditate and my life is full of love, because i love helping people become more aware. I realize that all of our metabolisms are different, but i bet if anyone was out there trying to find a mate, I bet they would do their damnedest to look good and keep in shape. I am not perfect, but I do believe in staying healthy.Oh and in 1997 i was given 1 year to live because of Cancer, and I beat the odds, because the doctors told me it was my life style.
I am somewhat vain and refuse to "let myself" let myself go. Right or wrong. good or bad, it is who I am. I am always attracted to women who also care about the way they look.
Sticks48
Level 9
July 7, 2019
0
@Allamanda It is totally subjective. People are attracted to who they are attracted to for whatever reasons. Since human beings come in so many shapes, sizes, and personalities, it seems to me that is a good thing. Some women aren't attracted to me because I am bald, some because I am thin or don't have enough money. It doesn't bother me in the least. To each their own. It will NEVER change and I believe that is exactly the way it should be. 
@Allamanda I have no double standard. I am attracted to who I am attracted to and can't change that. I don't wake up and say, "I'm going to start finding only blondes attractive or someone with big boobs. I have never been attracted to a particular type of woman as far as shape or hair color or length. It has always been about the combination of intelligence, style, humor, and physical attraction. The physical attraction has been very fluid, but the rest not so much.
@Allamanda The one thing I do know is men and women are wired very differently when it comes to this particular part of our biology and that ain't changing unless or until we evolve into something very different. The people I know, both men and women, who accept this do much better dealing with each other than those who don't.
Hormones...from having babies and going through menopause...genetics...habit...social pressure...laziness...aging...loss of attention...denial...
I don't think there is one thing and I don't think it happens overnight...part of it is being comfortable in a relationship and all that comes with it...social events that usually have food and drink...kids parties with cake...too tired to exercise...not getting help with household chores...boredom...
Love...hubby wants to do something to show you he is thinking of you...buys ice cream...takes you to an expensive restaurant...lots of love is associated with eating food!
Not speaking up...getting slammed when you do...I am guilty of that...if he mentions my weight, I go ballistic...it took a while to listen to what he had to say and for me to say what I had to say...pay attention and treat me like you did before we were married for so long and get rid of your own beer belly...there...that's why...
edited to add: it does not happen to everyone and does not have to happen...I have seen some of the best bodies on couples that have been together way longer than you have...lots of reasons, that's all...
thinktwice
Level 8
July 7, 2019
1
Usually our values remain the same throughout our lives. Anything you truly value stays with you and no level of comfort in a relationship will change that.
In this example it's health and fitness, but it can apply to any part of one's value system.
I have exposure to many fit, married couples who have been together for 50+ years. It doesn't have to be that people stop caring just because they're attached.
Athena
Level 8
July 7, 2019
2
You're basically right..."it doesn't have to be"...but with a growing population you naturally meet more people than our ancestors, try more things...and the chances of you growing together with similar tastes and likes becomes increasingly challenging (this is the basic theme of "Future Shock" by Alvin Tofler).
Couple these phenomena with better health care that keeps us youthful longer....and the chances of a parallel shared life becomes increasingly harder.
Thus; it's much harder to "stay together"...and thus the growing divorce rate, and the shrinking marriage rate.
because we get old.
JeffMesser
Level 8
July 7, 2019
2
Im 78 and i still have the same physique as i did when i was 30, i try to maintain my self pride, and never get too comfortable
How old do you have to be before this happens?
@TonyCarl1 I guess that just makes you a superior human being compared to the majority of us then tony. grats to you.
I assure you this is not necessarily the case.
What you eat, how much you eat, how you workout and the frequency, all play a role in maintaining and preserving a strong, healthy physique as you age. Luck has much less to do with it than people claim, unless you think it's unlucky that you overeat and don't exercise.
Some people have health conditions that play a role, but many of those were/are preventable as well.
@Athena it was a joke athena. geez.
Oh sorry... I forgot my mind reading genie at home.
@Athena you couldnt figure out I was being facetious when I said "exactly 51"? uhm ... ok.
@JeffMesser
I was just joking Jeff... geez.
See how that works?
Next time add a ;P
@Athena sure you were athena.
Oh come on, my friend..
Canadian hug?
@Athena it's all good. there's no anger here. isavasyam idam sarvam.
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