Philip Pullman's book The Amber Spyglass moves me a great deal, and was a solace to me when my mom died a few years ago. The gist: the dead are totally infused in nature, all around us. When we connect with nature,we connect with them, in the most basic way. To me, this image attests to the power of fiction to convey truth.

Sending over peaceful vibes and good wishes.

It would be the same if you were a recovering alcoholic - the bottle would be looking very tempting for you right now. Treat religion the same way. Stay strong and be true to yourself and know that Janet is at least not burning in hell. Death is a necessary outcome of life, like growing old; we have to deal with it, not deny it.

The afterlife is in one's mind. That's where I keep those loved one's who have passed. They're thought of often. I watched both of my parents expire in a hospital bed with a morphine drip and I thought that if this was god's plan then he was a major asshole. I cried but the days kept coming and the sun was there for most of them. I realized that I must continue to live in their honor. Since then I have had family to lean on and love to help me through the rough times. It will get better.

"There'll be two dates on your headstone,
and all your friends will read em.
But all that's gonna matter is
that little dash between em."
-Kevin Welch

"The flower fades and dies;
but he who wears the flower has not
to mourn for it for ever."
-Rabindranath Tagore

How the Non-Religious Deal with Death
BY HEMANT MEHTA [friendlyatheist.patheos.com]

Perhaps reading isn’t the answer. What connected you on earth? What activities did you enjoy together? By engaging in them, you may recall happy memories that are healing.

Sorry for your loss. In my experience, after losing my sister a few years ago, I found it hard not to want to think that I'd see her again, though I intellectually knew I wouldn't. It's also comforting thinking that shes in a wonderful place. So going back to those familiar or comforting thoughts of religious tradition happen but will go away. I have come to cherish my memories about her and am at peace knowing she has no hurt or pain.

Sorry for your loss.
While it’s not oriented to the grieving process, I found The Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer to be a wonderful book.

But just think...no worries are they in Hell, or whatever, just knowing they are at peace.

I’m really sorry.
When my dad passed away, I had a very hard time coming to terms with it as an atheist.
There’s no tidy bow to wrap up this ending with.
My dad was a very strict atheist, so it also felt like a dishonor to him to think of him in the afterlife.
Take care.

Kubler-Ross "On Death and Dying" I always found understanding the stages of grief helps me get through them.
[amazon.com]
Most public libraries will have it.

As people without religion we console ourselves with truth.
Religion simply provides a crutch of fantasy that really doesn't improve the grief process.

I just lost one of my dearest friends. I let myself talk about him and cry when I needed to. And I let myself have some passes for a while on stuff I just couldn't cope with simultaneously.

I also went to see a therapist until I was back on my feet.

You do what works for you.

Im so sorry for your loss. I think the religious belief about being able to see friends and family again (or, at least, having an afterlife, creates a pull on many people. It can be very comforting to think you'll see a loved one again. Another's death also makes us realize our lives, too, will end. Another reason to try to live each day doing what you really want to.

Get grief counseling or other help maybe support groups so sorry honey

Good to see that you are still rational enough to make a post here. In many cases religion is like herpes … once you are infected you can never quite get rid of it and if flairs up occasionally. Don't worry … the religious blisters will vanish again ...

When my mother died, when I was 23, I had already shucked off belief but was still coping with the difficulty of having the foundation of my values and world view crumble beneath my feet. I wasn't tempted to turn to God or religion for comfort or guidance, but I did struggle with the fact of her dying while I was still dealing with such uncertainty about who I was without religion and the process of building a new foundation. It may have helped that I wasn't prone to magical thinking when it came to religion (no belief in miracles in my life, no apparitions, no voices from God, no personal relationship with the supernatural), though I had that deep conviction for 20-ish years that no longer held me together. It also probably helped that my mother was such a difficult person — controlling, manipulative, temperamental — that I didn't feel as close to her as I might have under other conditions. But she was still my mother, and over many months I had the unpleasant experience of watching her waste away and eventually expire. I don't think religion helps when you don't truly believe: you don't accept that an afterlife exists, so you won't gain comfort from going through the religious motions because deep down you don't accept that you'll be reunited. There's no reason to focus on religion and ritual and all that, so I think my advice is to place your thoughts elsewhere as much as you can. Embrace life, yours and theirs, the memories you have, and seek comfort in your friends and family if they can provide you with the support network you need. If there is nobody in your life who can be there for you in that way, there may be grief counselors and support groups that can help. A good conflict coach might be helpful, too, allowing you to just spill your emotions and helping you come to terms with these feelings that are at odds within you (but they shouldn't be making suggestions so much as being a sounding board and helping you clarify what you're feeling as you make connections and come to resolution along the way).

I don't know whether there's anything helpful in what I've shared here, but I hope you can glean something useful from my experience. I wish you all the best in this difficult time.

Religion has no answer to death, afterlife or to the being called god. Religion just guessed and invented all the beautiful and comforting ideas about the 3 (death, afterlife, god) because the simple minded people who are terrified of death and all the horrifying and painful things in the real life has no answer but want beautiful reassurance that good will eventually prevail. 30,000 people die of starvation everyday, thousands of people die of cancer everyday including children and NO ONE has the answer why these things happen. The comfort of death is all worldly pain and horror will go away. If there is indeed a life after death then the dead will find out at last. Even atheist believe humans will return to their energy state but could this energy form be sentient? Do not follow the brainwashing of religion that only a god being can create afterlife expand your horizon. Humans may create the technology someday to become immortal and even bring back the dead. Do not underestimate humanity (those who work against all odds to better humanity at least). Humans are real gods are unproven even today. Hope.

I've never had someone close to me die. I can't imagine the feeling. But when I do imagine how it might feel, I think of this and find some comfort in it. I hope this helps: [reddit.com]

Losing a loved one is horrible. Maybe for the first time you are dealing with it head-on (without the fantasy that they are "in a better place" ) and it's tough. That pain of loss will never truly go away, but it will soften over time. Feel those feelings and deal with that emotion, but then integrate it. This experience is becoming a part of you. Cherish your memories of this person. That's all you can do. You know you have quite a support network here. I hope this helps.

Find comfort where ever it helps you to heal. There may be a group here that addresses loss, healing, grieving etc. Seek & ye shall find.

Death is a fact of life, we all die, it is unavoidable. The sooner we understand that those of us who are on this earth will be gone at some point in time, and there is nothing we can do to avoid that fate, it is all part of the natural cycle of life, the sooner we shall be free of the religious bullshit we were all ingrained by parents, society and environment. You were smart enough to liberate yourself of that crap, do not fall for the false hope of "eternal life if you just believe". It is all bullshit, snap out of it!

Stoic philosophy.

This might not work for you, but I've gotten huge insights from the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying.

It’s appeared to me religion is most often used for two things, ‘explaining everything,’ ‘helping’ us deal with death.. Spared religion at an early age, I may be of no help…

...but how’s it work for me.. ‘Life’s a cycle,’ if we’re careful & fortunate, we’ll complete it. If an early death occurs, it’s confirmation there’s nobody pulling the strings; it’s just wrong. Life is precious, such a loss serves to remind us of that.

And, how would the one we loved or appreciated want us to feel? Shattered? Or capable of moving ahead without them..? If it’s the latter - make it so ~

You sound like a strong and rational person who can ride out sorrow, persist and find happiness.

When I was suffering, the book “Help Yourself to Happiness” by Maxie Maultsby was a life-saver, lifting me out of depression. Actually you don’t sound depressed.

You don’t have to fall back into your old religious habits if you don’t want to. There are spiritually oriented groups such as new thought churches, etc. that might suit you better.

Just stay alive and try to enjoy the miracle of each passing moment of conscious awareness.