@Cherie4444 Ok, let me rephrase. I am not saying it CAN'T happen. Just that it no longer happens frequently enough to maintain a social system based on pair-bonded child-rearing.

A retirement system based on everybody winning the lottery before they get old would not work.
However, some people would win and be set for life.

@Cherie4444 Not sure what you are saying. When I met my late wife I still had a fair amount of hair on my head and I could still get dates with women that were attractive to me, at least. It does seem to me that the dating market is worse now, at least in my experience compared to the last time, and I think that is for other reasons as well as me being bald or not as athletic looking as back then either. Make of it what you will. I think most of the reasons are that women are way more closed and guarded than back then about dating as well as being pickier than then. It makes the whole process really an ordeal for both.

[pewresearch.org]

For reference: There is a clear drop in marital rates in the United States since 1960.

@Cherie4444 Not to belabor the point. LOL. I don't like this situation at all. I would love to be happily married and I spend way too much time thinking about it.

I just feel like we have tens of millions of people complaining about their personal dating lives, and not enough noticing the shared trends.

@Jinx5555555 42 percent of the adult population is now single. You are not alone. (And that stat was from the last census).

I was mainly posting about the big sites. This isn't like that at all, I agree.

You can meet people here. Especially if you're a fairly good judge of character. I do love the community tho'

@IAJO163 Most of us can meet people here for long distance or online friendship, but as far as dating anyone from here, most of us would have to travel at least hundreds of miles.

@MissKathleen You know it, baby. Oh yeeeeah! Want to see the biggest dick you've ever seen in your life?

@MissKathleen LOL - You're on to me.

So you don't want any positive responses ?

@Cast1es I've clearly sacrificed all hope of that.

@MissKathleen gotcha beat....both ex's!

@MissKathleen lifecis so great now even I can't believe it some days.....I hope everyone can find this k8nd of freedom & bliss someday! And sooner than I did!

Yeah, being a woman, I don't really get that for a profile pick either. I mean, I guess they are trying to look cute but????

According to my young niece it's supposed to signify that you're fun.

I actually screen shot it because it was funny. This one guy had five "pics" only they weren't pics, they were all motivational memes. Like I'm NOT gonna swipe left on that one! LOL

You look lovely in all those pictures...

@thinktwice, Aww thanks

Your acceptance of yourself and your honesty are very attractive.

Or maybe this more recent one...

Or I could use that FaceApp Russian spybot thingy to age me, that'd really freak 'em out when we meet...

Honestly?? Okay, if you go on Metalheads Dating (Yes, it is a site I don't make this shit up!). You can keep the bottle but maybe smile just a little. If it's Match....forget it. That's a GQ/Yippee site. LOL. POF....lose the bottle and smile just a little. Nothing wrong with the long hair, rocker look. Chicks DO dig long hair, maybe not all chicks, but you def fit a niche.

@GrungeGirl90s oh, if I was going on a metalheads dating site, I'd have to link the ancient 90's death metal I used to front, back when I had no hair at all!

@MrBeelzeebubbles You look like a crazy Viking here. I love it.

@kiramea Sorry, but it'll take a couple of years to grow the hair back.

I think there is a lid for every pot and in each of your pictures, you would find someone attracted to that look...if anything, it shows you are adaptable and like to change things up...those are good qualities...lol

@thinktwice Oh, of it wasn't for the somewhat bizarre tastes of many ladies, I'd have never gotten laid.

@MrBeelzeebubbles That's musician talk there. LOL!!!

@IAJO163 I can proudly say, as an ex death metal vocalist, that I have produced the least musical noise possible whilst still being an active member of a band.

Hagrid?

@bleurowz You're a wizard, Harry.

@MrBeelzeebubbles I tried to live up to, "Give the drummer some!" lol.

Calling them fat is also a good way to get blocked

My first PM on this site was a man in Australia who asked me, no, demanded to know: if my moral value was to harm nobody, how did I justify being obese?! He wasn’t quite that nice about it, I’m paraphrasing

Rude, much?

One, I’m not likely to hook up with men thousands of miles away, I’m in North Carolina. Two, if you don’t like soft curvy -fat- chicks, keep scrolling and shut the fuck up. Either way, I’m not hiding who I am, and I’m not tolerating rudeness.

Asking a woman how much she weighs , is a bit like asking a man how much money he has in the bank , or what his annual income is .

Asking age or weight has NEVER been acceptable, not even in person....is there something wrong with you?

@Cast1es Why shouldn't anyone feel free to ask anything they want to know about certain someone?

Do you lack social skills or emotional intelligence? Why are you asking women on dating sites their weights? Would you ask a random man? If yes, brush up on or have someone teach you social skills. There are certain questions that are foolish to ask people.

@CarolinaGirl60 YES! Thank you for your honesty.

And to some of the other comments: If I'm thinking about going into business with somebody, yes, I want to see a financial statement. If I'm opening myself to getting in bed with somebody, I damn well want to have an idea about their physical shape and size.

@mischl You are receiving feedback from women here, as well as those who have blocked you, that asking about weight on dating sites is considered very rude. So why not wait and assess in person? Or are you expecting to ‘getting into bed with someone’ on the very first F2F? Personally, I would probably never consider you for a first date if you ask about weight directly, and I’m slender. You are limiting your potential pool of dates by offending every woman.

@Justjoni He is just being honest, Jj. I will not message a woman who does not have a full body pic because I am not on dating sites for the primary purpose of making platonic friends. I want someone who seems to at least have some potential of me being physically attracted to them before I waste my time or theirs. Dating does eventually usually lead to trying sex with someone if it goes far and long enough. I don't want to set them or me up for disappointment if I know from the pics I am not likely to be attracted due to their body type. Their is a reason everybody on paid dating sites wants current pics in the profile and usually at least on close up head shot and one full body shot. Because looks are important to about everyone, all other traits being equal and compatible.

@TomMcGiverin Thank you, Tom. In the realm of honesty, I have numerous friends who are overweight. Some very close friends. But I have enough experience and know enough about myself to know that I cannot have a satisfactory sexual relationship with a woman over a "certain" weight. I consider that to be one of my own limitations.

@mischl Same here. I think we share that with most men, but it appears most men are just not as honest about it, either because they fear the wrath of feminists, or they just enjoy telling women what they want to hear. I respect myself and others too much to lie to them, so let the haters hate, I say.

@TomMcGiverin You might be interested to know that during my career as a family / couples counselor and related work, I ran into TWO women who, after some "work" on themselves, admitted they deliberately put on weight to keep men from hitting on them. There's plenty of anecdotal information that shows most men aren't attracted to fat women. Oh, and I think most women aren't attracted to fat men. It's only natural.

@mischl I got to know two women who admitted to me that they had put on a lot of weight within months after being raped or nearly raped because it unconsciously made them feel safer from attack by being less attractive to men.

I feel like I could make some cash by helping men with their profiles.

If you take a selfie in the bathroom, make sure your mirror isn’t filthy and the toilet isn’t in the background. I also love the ones where you can tell by the look on their face that they’re concentrating really hard on how to take a picture

@MissKathleen go figure...they don’t want help.

A guy friend and I critiqued each other’s profiles on Okcupid, I was glad to have some input from a guy

@MissKathleen Had another guy friend look as well. I had a few guys say I look better in person than my pictures, which baffled me because I felt like I was posting pictures that looked better than I do in real life. Go figure ‍

Hey, it's a grey area, we all have our turn-ons! LOL

lol I like seeing the different pictures people choose...hey, mine are spam...

A bass fishing boat means good eating to me...I love fresh fish...ha ha ha

@OwlInASack Hahahaha! Dude! Soooooo bad! LOL

ughh yes. I've known men who claimed they had degrees in given areas because that was the major they started out with, but never finished. It's like dude you do not have a bachelors degree in X field, why the fck you lying about that?! The worst was a guy I had a fling with who claimed to be a counsellor on his bio because he took 2 years of psych courses/read many psych articles online and had a psychology FACEBOOK group page. FOH with that level of lying/delusions

@demifeministgal How do they even think they are going to keep that from coming out as the relationship progresses? Betrayal/lying is not the best way to start a meaningful relationship...wow...that is horrid!

Wyle E. Coyote - is a cartoon. As an avatar we usually choose something that reflects our nature. This avatar might say I don't take me or my life too seriously. I can make fun of myself, I have a sense of humor. So it worked. Grunge girl has a valid point tho because the big issue is LYING. I put in my bio smoking is a deal breaker and yet I've gotten requests to make an exception. Everyone has their view on this - I just wanted to say the cartoon idea is better than a known actor.

@silverotter11 my response is mainly directed at this line: First, post a picture of YOU. It's nice she's telling guys what she wants, it's not nice to dictate that they must present themselves the way she'd like, as opposed to how they'd like.

@1of5 Well, it doesn't hurt to ask. I'M joking! I still think the cartoon was a good idea.

Super genius

I'm not as cute as the baby goat in my profile picture but I met a guy who thinks my goats are cool.

@NoPlanetB yes, she is stating that, but she's also trying to dictate how they do that. I see this in the same vein as guys telling women to smile in thier profile pics more.

@PolyComrade overinflated view of himself, which was one of my considerations in choosing it...

@NoPlanetB also I’m sure that there’s more than me that don’t want their face on media that is accessible to the gen public.

@NoPlanetB it was the demand that the pic be "of YOU" that's defining my line of thinking here. There's plenty of places for pics here on the profile pages and pics from 5, 10, 15 years ago would actually be more insightful as to how that person has lived thier lives than your "current best shot" - imo, at least. We're all looking for someone different and have differing criteria for what will catch our interest.

@silverotter11 it was a great idea. Otherwise I'm just another pretty face in the crowd.

@JacobMeyers please be prepared for the inevitable "That's because you're hiding something" responses.

But yeah, I don't like my pic out on the net much either, and yes it's because I'm hiding something - myself, from scammers.

@1of5 I worry more about snoopy neighbors and bosses. I know some one involved in a court case. The silly boss that fired her readily admitted it was because of what was on a Facebook post.

Don't worry. Some of us are in your boat and we are of the selfie generation. I hate taking pics too. I tell people I need to be "picture ready" to do so. But I will happily take pics of them or of their food/landscapes if they want.

Ditto on the pics.

Same here, I hate selfies. But, then again, I'm one of those chicks that hates pics of herself period! LOL

@Ms_McSteven Hey it's "representative"!

I posted 1 of 5 selfies ever taken of me. I bought a phone with the front camera so that my digital age grandson could communicate with me and he expects me to buy an expensive iphone. Nope! He is learning and we communicate the old fashioned way. No Face time.

I've never met anyone in person from Agnostic, but it appears to me that most members of this site who are open to dating are much more honest about their pics than people on the paid sites.

The holding the dead animal photo is a definite no. I guess it's honest though.

And no I'm not opposed to someone who actually needs to hunt for food. Some folks need to - to make ends meet.

I agree. I'm vegetarian so hunting is a definite turn off.

I'm so with you on that. Been a couple photos of guys with their bows and or rifles and a deer. Now, I know the deer population has gotten out of control in a lot of areas and if you are eating what you kill....Mmmm, okay. But I don't think it's a great profile pic. I usually swipe left on those.

OMG, I see someone wearing camo and holding a rifle ... or, worse, holding up some dead animal’s head for a photo op ... INSTANT no.

@GrungeGirl90s the deer population is out of control because a) urban expansion creates more edges of forest which is deer habit, b) we keep culling their predators like wolves.

@PolyComrade Agreed! Mountain lions here in the San Diego area are becoming fewer for just the same reasons

@GrungeGirl90s
have you seen that short video called How Wolves Help Rivers? Predators are really important to the functioning of healthy ecosystems

@OldMetalHead I am an ex smoker, not a heavy smoker and I only smoked out side. Now I am just overly sensitive to the odor and the smoke gives me an asthma attack. The wildfires we had 2 years ago seem to have upped my allergy sensitivity to every damn thing. Cigar smoke would bother me indoors but most I am talking about the cigarette smokers that can not go a few hours without it. I do edibles maybe once a year. But I get that if asked you would be honest, it really isn't something one can be deceptive about .

"Then shut your pie holes and listen for a change when a woman speaks her mind, when we tell you what we're looking for in a date..." Through-out my dating life (I am old now and NOT looking for a date.), I found that women would say that they wanted a man who would listen to them. However, I found that the first priority for them was physical attractiveness. It so happens that I spent most of my live overweight interspersed with periods of normal weight. When I was thin, women found me to be very attractive and would approach me to initiate a relationship. However, when I was overweight, they made it very obvious that they were not interested in me. Therefore, I don't buy into "...what women want..." when it comes from women. Women say one thing, but in fact they just want a hot guy. I have been there many times. Remember, I am NOT looking for girl and lamenting that none are interested in me...I am old, married, and glad to be way beyond the dating stage of life. You disingenuous gals kill me with your B.S.

@dahermit Yet another neckbeard stepping in to defend himself and talk women down. Quelle suprise.

While I have no desire to interact with guys who share your mentality, I'll say this: there is a lot of fatphobia in the world and you experienced it when you became fat. I understand this implicity because I'm a fat person, too. The dating scene is rife with it. It sucks, it makes you feel like crap, but it does exist, as you experienced. I've experienced it many times, too. But I'm not accusing men of being disingenous for not being attracted to me because I'm fat. Using your fatness as an excuse for women "not being honest about what they want" is the real b.s. Yeah, it sucks and our lives are filled with messages about why thin people are "better," more "socially acceptable," more "desirable," etc. But when you get down to brass tacks, dating a thin person rather than a fat one is simply a preference. Get over it. Move on. Find someone who prefers dating fat people and who appreciates you for everything you have to offer. That doesn't preclude your ability to listen to women, doesn't mean that women aren't being honest about what they want. What it means is you're bordering on incel sentiment by becoming that angry at women who chose not to date you because you're fat. I certainly hope you don't behave that way with your partner. If that person is a smart cookie, you won't stay married for long.

@Ruby_Slipper Jesus H. Christ. I made observations, if you do not like my observations that is too bad. You have put your own emotional spin on what I have said. You also missed the part where I AM NOT LOOKING FOR RELATIONSHIP. I have nothing to get over and as for moving on, I am at the end of my life cycle so I have no reason to deal with your nonsense. I will give you time to read this and then I will block you...I deal only with persons who do not project their insecurities.

@dahermit I hear what you're saying. I'm 160 on a good day and 165 on a bad day. I think I wear it well but I'm not a swimsuit model in any way, shape, or form. LOL. Something that has me a little bummed is that I have gone through heavier weight periods too. I am picky but have never been into GQ guys or Gym rats. I was recently talking to a guy who seemed to be really great. He was a bit younger than me but we had a lot in common and the conversation just flowed (it wasn't forced, it was really nice!). We were supposed to meet up 4 times and each time he backed out. Then he just left (ghosted I think is the term today?). He is 5'7" about an inch shorter than me and I am assuming he has a few extra pounds because all his pics show him from shoulders/mid-section up and with a baggy hoodie on. He would also make some self deprecating comments from time to time.He said he met up with a couple women and it was not good. He never elaborated. I didn't care if he had a few extra pounds,I was really excited to meet him in hopes the conversation went just like it had in messaging but he never gave me the chance...he wouldn't take a chance. It sucks, I think we would have gotten along. Oh well, you can't make someone give you a chance.

@GrungeGirl90s Sweet story. Thanks.

Okay...First, I didn't say anyone on HERE had done those things. I don't know if I would call this a conventional dating site. This seems more like a nice place to meet all kinds of people. I was merely sharing the frustration of the popular dating sites (Match, POF, etc.) I've been on five and the same crap is rampant over all of them. I figure some folks here could commiserate.

@GrungeGirl90s Yes. I've been on a few no success on most.

People accuse me of lying about my age...

@thinktwice I assume you mean lying up?

I had a guy just do that. Been kind meeting up and getting to know each other for a couple months. His profile said 45 but he was 55. I think he forgot he did that on the dating site because when I wished him a Happy 45th for his BDay. He corrected me.

@bingst ha ha You are sweet...I have no problem telling my age...plus I want the senior discounts!!

@GrungeGirl90s That was an honest mistake and he owned up to it...that is a nice guy....

@GrungeGirl90s Gees!

@mjb007bond lol where do I send the check? I am a healthy 65...and yes, being half Japanese helps!

I do get it. I just hear men say that they want to see us but some of these same men also don't post pics. it just gets frustrating and I know quite a few women who won't even bother if there is no genuine pic...myself included. True story. A close friend decided to give this guy a chance. No pic of him. His profile read well and he sounded nice. Long story short, after chatting for about a week, they decided to meet up. She still had no idea what he looked like. He told her: Dk. brown hair, clean shaven, and he'd be in a white t'shirt and jeans. Okay, seems good so far, right? Well, you don't know how many guys match that description until you are waiting for one. He never approached her and she could not tell which one, if any, was the man. She got stood up. He probably showed, wasn't too taken with her and left. She never heard from him again. That, to me, is a real dick move and it takes a special kind of asshole to do it. I know not all guys are like that but again, that's why pics are important to many of us. Oh, and I wasn't laughing at your comment but the fact that you had to pretend to be your daughter! LOL! Such a good dad...

@GrungeGirl90s thats pretty rotten of that guy. I think I am to empathetic to do that to a date.

@GrungeGirl90s I understand the spam feeling, but I think they're the vast minority. On the other hand, I would never think of meeting up with someone who I didn't know how s/he looked. A facial, definitely and a full body is almost as critical. I think you need to be careful, but not paranoid. I take online scenarios in a similar approach. Keep asking for updated photos.

Huh?

Actually, myself and at least my close buds who are on some of these sites...none of us are into GQ or muscle guys. I like rocker guys myself because that's what I'm into. If a guy doesn't read my profile and his has stuff like: wine tasting, golfing, etc. I'm not gonna message him back. For what it's worth, I get guys who are 60-70 and just want a younger woman on their arm. What I think sucks is that guys get lauded for dating a much younger woman but if a woman dates a much younger guy she's a cougar and made fun of. Talk about your double standards.

@GrungeGirl90s An older man will date a much younger woman who can cum in less than 5 min and he doesn't mind paying for it.Testosterone is gone and getting it up and keeping it up is a problem. An older woman will hang out with a younger man because he can get it up more than once in a night and has a bit of staying power. Science. Many women need more time to reach later in life. It's a balance.

I'm starting to sense why you found it so difficult to get a woman.

I agree. As I said, I apologise on behalf of all the douchy women out there. We are not all like that just like there are some straight up guys on the sites too.

"Ah, Vanity, My favorite sin!" We've built an economy on it in this country.

@GrungeGirl90s I'm a straight up, average looking but bald guy who just happens to live in a shitty dating pool for a childfree hipster like me at my age. I probably like more of the same music as you, GG, than do most single guys your age in your area, but unfortunately most of the women my age in my area like country music-which I hate- and only about 25% of them are open to dating someone non-religious. They are also almost all very family-oriented, whether they have kids or not. Only family men need apply. It could always be worse for you, just sayin'....