Grief is such a personal thing. Whatever helps you get through it is all that matters.

When he died, I heard so many times "He's in a better place." Until I just wanted to reply "Where? In a box? How is that better?" but I held my tongue. I got to program his funeral playlist so the service was full of tunes from Rush, Kiss, Supertramp, and SRV -- all his favorites.

Much cooler than the usual religious dirges.

Whatever get you through the night is ok.

I’m sorry for your loss. After my grandma died, I went often to sit on her grave and just talk. I’ve done the same with my youngest brother. When I’m ready, I don’t go as often. It helps me accept they are gone and to heal.

I am of Scots-Irish descent. We always do Halloween dinner & we always have a "mummer's plate". Each a/tendee, if they choose, will offer a favorite of a deceased family member on the plate as a remembrance. My mother loved maple nut candy, my dad loved his Pepsi's.

At Christmas, there will be "grandpa Howard's pate", & "grandma Irene's black walnut applesauce cake " & other dishes that were faves of gone family members.

Everyone has ways of remembering those who have left us. I'm always interested in the ways people remember the dead.

I still visit my parents grave every memorial day. It's about memories not religion.
And it's a gesture they did for others. Many times.

Do what comforts you.

If it helps you grieve its okay.

What ever you need to mourn is fine.

I keep the ashes of all my dogs with me, in urns in a cabinet. It is just comforting somehow.........