I was thinking the same thing. He was actually born in the United States but moved to Brazil when he was young with his parents who are dual citizens. He wants her to come to the United States and he can bring her in legally, but she does not want to come and live in the United States.

My monkeys have wings!
I do love repeating that mantra when I get bogged down in the muck of life.

... was that a Supernatural reference?

One day he will accept the truth.

I loved the compassion in your response.

You are correct. He is trying to convince himself that he is the father. He is in denial.

@noworry28 My hope is whether he is in denial or not, he will be a good father to this child. The child does need and deserve a good father.

I fault religion for these situations where a man could say,
"I know this child is not mine. But it is not it's fault and the child needs a father. I love this woman, I will love her child." and he is shamed for being in that situation.

Religion offers shame and belittlement to such a person as a "cuckold". Disgusting!! Such a person should be honored. IMHO.

Probably he's the real dad.

@Carin He is not. The wife is in Brazil, the pastor is here.

I disagree. Nothing good would come of forcing this fellow to face the truth. If he is happy about it, and the child is raised in a happy and financially secure home.... having spent time in Brazil. Peru, & Bolivia, I can attest for a different cultural view of this common situation. It's OK if everyone accepts the situation, and for whatever reason, is content.
My opinion only, of course...

I met the pastor one time and he does not speak to heathens like me. That is good for him right now because I would definitely give him a piece of my mind.

I kept my mouth shut. Now I wonder about his other two kids.

The preacher is in Florida and the wife is in Brazil.

@noworry28
My statement stands

@darthfaja I guess the preacher who hasn't been to Brazil in over two years performed a miracle.

@noworry28
Muffins work in mysterious ways

@Shawappa44820 I don't like the smell of cigars and cigarettes. I did not take one.

There are certain things that someone has to figure out on his own.

Even if I say something, he will not believe it. This is something that he has to figure out for himself. I think he knows, but refuses to admit it to himself.

@noworry28 I stopped worrying about whether or not someone would believe the truth or not and simply use it regardless. Once you start changing what you will say to accommodate someone's imaginary friends you might as well start believing right along with them as you are already adjusting your life for an imaginary being.

@redbai It's his life, and his beliefs are his own. Unless he ask for my opinion I will not say anything. His delusions has nothing to do with me. That's his life not mine.

I am the kind of person who says what is on my mind. In the moment I wanted to say " are you stupid or what? Can't you figure out that you are not the father. " I am glad that my friend grabbed me before I said anything, because he knows the kind of person that I am. He has to come to terms with the situation himself.

@noworry28 Then it’s a situation for you to practice not releasing a runaway tongue!

@NoPlanetB I am working on it.

@noworry28 I also have that problem.

The priest/pastor could very well be the father.

@jlynn37 Absolutely!

@jlynn37 too far away for the priest/ pastor to be the father, it would be another miracle. Florida - Brazil, and the priest/pastor has not traveled to Brazil in the past year.

He has to figure it out himself. He would not believe me anyway. He is in denial.

@noworry28 If you consider him a friend, I don't understand how you wouldn't tell him. Shit, even if he was a stranger, how could you just let him be fucked over like that without saying something? His denial is an excuse you are telling yourself because you don't want to get involved, but you know you are wrong, so your conscience is prompting you to ask for second opinions. Everybody in this thread that is saying mind your business... cowardly. Just stand by and watch this dude's life burn in slow motion without trying to help... ffs.

My thought is that he is in denial. There is no way in the world that someone cannot figure this out.

@noworry28 Oh, there's a way. You haven't met enough people yet. I regret you never met my old drinking buddy, Clyde d'Wonderfog. For one, he bought the drinks.

"I'm surrounded by idiots!" -- Dr. Evil.

@noworry28 Yup. In about 20 years, the kid will come upon a 23&Me dna test. The gig will be up for the mama and dad will have to face his self-deception.

@BlueWave God is testing your faith with this bogus test, son.

He is in denial. If he cannot figure out that he is not the father when he hasn't seen his wife since last December, than nothing that I say to him will make a difference.

Good point.

Not planning on saying anything. Just wanted some feedback from the community. He needs to figure it out himself.

@noworry28 he may never do so, alas, or he may do so, also alas, but yes, it is his to discover or not.

g

No I did not. It is real.

@NoPlanetB This is a really nice person who is being taken advantage of. I cannot and will not say anything to him . This is something that he needs to realize for himself. My friend will not say anything to him either, we both agree that he has to figure it out himself.

@Shawappa44820 I would think that except she had the pastor speak to him.

IDK if that's cultural or a lack of reproductive education.
(Suspension of disbelief or actual ignorance).

I taught peer sexuality in the 1980's - what people learn in place of the actual truth will just amaze you. Particularly in a religious setting.
And some folks just never are taught any sex education. ie "Can I get pregnant from French Kissing?" - yes I've heard that repeatedly and with worry behind it.

I really hope the guy is just doing what he feels is right. Not that ignorant of facts.

Ignorance is bliss.