I'm not grieving, but it's been over 20 years since the death of my marriage. I'm good.

Grief is different from grieving. My ex's gave me nothing but grief, but for my dogs, I'm grieving. It all depends on how much one is emotionally attached and that fluctuates depending on one's emotional investment at the tme?

I lost my wife of 27 years to Cancer,it will be two years come Sept 13th 2019, I have explored the dating World,most are full of scammers,and I have been taken at least twice. So beware,use you brain,if something sounds to good to be true,RUN.....

Should you punish yourself with grief over a failed relationship? I think you should start look after a few days.

They say everyone grieves differently. It's true, but the connecting thread is, it's very painful. When my mother passed many years ago, I was so heartbroken, I didn't think it would ever end. But, I knew I was better when I could say, "my mother died", without massive tears. When my dad passed, it was more of a relief, I grieved for him, but I was still aching for my mother- it had only been 18 months. Thirty-three years later, my husband got really sick, we found out he had non- alcoholic cirrhosis. He only lived 7 months. Maybe that should have been a relief, as he suffered horribly in ICU waiting for a transplant. We were married 36 years. I've been a widow for the past 6 years. I'm still grieving, but I can talk about him with joy now, instead of breaking down. I feel it's a very personal experience, shared with those you love. You'll know when you're ready to move on. I know this because my best friend, was widowed and found love again. I told her, I think something is wrong with me, I have no desire to be with anyone. And I don't think that'll change. She said it's that way for some, and I shouldn't feel like something is wrong. That's just how it is, and it's the only thing I'm unhappy about. And, I have a lot to keep me happy ♥️ like my 11 grandchildren ♥️ I hope you find peace and love.

when you want

I dated a guy who joined a dating site the DAY OF his late wife's funeral. We had a first date within a week, there were still funeral flowers in his house. She had a long term chronic debilitating condition that unexpectedly became fatal. We dated for a few weeks, he really wanted to move forward fast, until he had a major anxiety attack and put it all on hold. He started seeing a therapist and said he'd call back in 6 months. He didn't. He had an unusual name, and something triggered a memory, so I googled him and found his obit. He passed on 5 months after our end, less than a year after his late wife died. They had a kid still in high school. He was mid 50s. I don't know if it was grief or what, but for sure he wasn't ready to move on that fast.

I wish I could say grief only last a given time. Its part of you now. It will be in your memory forever. You will find someone new. It will help.

One should defiantly, wait until she is out of earshot before calling her sister! God is not there to judge you. Who cares what the neighbors think? Do what is right for you, seriously. You know that you are ready when you start asking people on agnostic.com how long you should wait!

You know when you are able to control it and manage it following reason and common sensical logic.

That's an almost impossible question to answer, Apart from your own personal method of dealing with a love loss.. each person you have been in "love" with has effected you in a different way. Some will take longer to get over than others.

"Widow(er)/life partner/significant other" might have some wisdom for you?

do you have friends who can give you an honest assessment? i know people who have tried this and were still a walking open wound and totally burned their bridges with someone they could have ha d a good relationship with. A friend might be able to give you a "talking to" about this.

Different strokes for different folks but I think 6 mos to a year is normal.

No way

As long as it takes, without becoming self-pitying. We are all different and have different relationships. After my first divorce it took about a nine months before I was lucky enough to meet a real soulmate. She and I had an on/off relationship for over eighteen years and we are still friends after thirty-four years. We are not together but keep in touch.

It's way too individual to boil it down to generic advice. For me it took about 18 months to feel like I could move on, but that reflects my coping style, personality, and the circumstances of my wife's death. It might have been different for example if she had been healthy and it was some horrible accident; instead it was the end point of a very long and miserable illness, and she was ready for, and even wanted it to end, and it was actually a relief to me that she was finally beyond the reach of her suffering. So I had far more preparation and we had a chance to discuss it and say our goodbyes and so forth. Someone in the grief and loss group posted about losing her spouse of just 9 months -- now that's a real twist of the knife, and points out that your age and life experience influence matters, too. And then there is your support system (or lack thereof) and its quality.

One thing I do know is that if you're stuck in the "shock and awe" early phase and still crying yourself to sleep every night for years, you need to seek help. I witnessed a gal online who I thought was in the throes of the initial loss of her husband and thought it odd that no one was really offering much caring support to her. Until I looked back in the timeline and realized she had been going on like this for FIVE YEARS like it was yesterday. That's stuck, folks.

It happens that I met my present wife at about 2 years out and it was a mere four months after her own husband's death. But here again, differences: their marriage had been on the rocks for some time, she was staying on to help him with his final illness with the clear understanding that they were, beyond that, finished. Very different set of circumstances and a very different set of emotions.

So for better and worse, I’m very much in the “If you want to get over someone, you gotta get under someone else” camp. It’s definitely not for everyone and you need to have enough perspective to see the new relationships (yes, plural, again that’s me) for what they are and the maturity and respect to be very clear about your intentions. Got kicked hard at the first of the year. I took about five weeks of intense personal work and then started dating casually again. One of the six or so forays has become serious now. There has been a little collateral damage from the break up that we’ve had to parse, but overall it’s been really good and dealing with that baggage together has brought us closer. Having said that, your mileage may vary.

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
Focus on things outside of your past relationship, if there was nothing thing about how liberating it is that your not stifled anymore

Anyone should take as long as they really need to grieve because it really depends upon the individual in my opinion.
I still go through times where I grieve over the loss of my 16 year old Daughter even though it has been nearly 19 years now.
But, to my regrets, I found that grief often foster feelings of utter loneliness and that was where I made a most regrettable mistake and fell for the ministrations of one those ' predatory' users ( there ARE both male and female ones btw) that thrive on the grief of others, I got into a relationship with her, married her THINKING I was besotted with her only to realise much later that she was using me and my grief as an exit strategy to escape the town where she lived and had built up a very bad reputation and wanted/needed to find fresher fields.
Within less than 3 years I found out that she was 'playing the field' whilst I was watching her children and I forgave her the first time, like the forgiving sucker that I am, but the second time I told her NO MORE, and packed up her and her children ( none of them being mine by blood but loved by me none-the-less) and sent her on her way only to find afterwards that she had rippied me off for well over $1,800 before she left.
Yes, I miss those 2 great children and the laughs I had with them around BUT the moral to my story is, " Do NOT let grief cloud your mind and loneliness take hold because when we are grieving THAT is precisely when we are at our emotional weakest and loneliness WILL take over, suppressing our inner cautiousness, often with disastrous results."

Four months and six days! Or maybe when you are at a point when you are not going to project your associations with the deceased on to another person. Maybe never.

You will know when you feel ready ... how we all cope with loss and how long that lasts is down to each one of us - we are all different. When you meet the right person, you will know.

Take the time you need to heal. I took several years to heal and let it go. Now how do I know that I'm ready to look for that special person? I want to share my life with him and If I feel he meets my expectations then he is the right one.

I don't think you really know until you try. If you don't have anyone to talk to about your grief, then you can probably expect the unload during the date with the first or second person. Hopefully by person three you can get to know each other without unburdening yourself.

So many different factors are involved in grief. My husband was only sick for about six months and the first three months there was some hope of survival. I think the length of the sickness, the length of the relationship and many other factors would affect when a person was ready for a relationship. I never considered one until 2 years after Kenneth died. I'm not sure I would have considered one then if a young man had not been telling me often that I was ready to have a relationship. My stepdad was married within 18 months of my mother's death. I've read that the happier the marriage the quicker people remarry. That's a puzzle to me since I had a great marriage and I have no desire to ever remarry so I would like a relationship.

I think it's important that a person doesn't jump at just anything out of loneliness. Immediately after the death of a loved one everyone is very vulnerable.

I wish you peace and the joy happy memories of your loved one can bring you.