Yesterday I came up with an argument about dress code with an women who is around 50 and some men around 30-50. They say that the dressing sence of a woman shows her character. Women wearing shorts or not covering their bodies fully are characterless and they are ready to sleep with anyone...and they are asking me if I get married if my wife wear shorts dresses,how I feel and how you feel if others tell you about your wife's dress. And the same way if my daughter is wearing shorts, I would I and others feel!
My reaction is like what....fuck!
Really why these people don't see women as women but judge them by their dress.
In the 1960's there raged a pitched battle here in
the states- mostly young against the old. In terms of clothing , what the person feels comfortable in WON THE
DAY. You can easily see why..before that(1940-1950)what
you wore was a STATUS symbol. A suit & tie ment that you
had "made it" and were "professional" ; NOT ALWAYS TRUE
THOUGH. There still exists the pressure to conform. This
also is a form of " chasing FASHION ".( Which can display wealth !)-you stay current by purchasing this years style.
Again , i thought the sensible goals of a person wearing
what THEY chose to wear, was & IS more rational and
sensible because they have to PURCHASE and function
thier lives in that attire. To judge moral character by
the clothing is REACHING conclusions that are untrue.
Thanks for the post.
Whether a woman is naked or dressed up with an astronaut suit, it's up to us men to think with our minds and our hearts and not with our dicks.
Women say that dressing however they please is freedom of expression, so they feel like it says something about their character. But that's their feelings... some rando guy on the street has zero right to interpret that in light of his own sexuality/ issues.
When you look into psychology and medical papers about reproductive cycles, pheromones, you get really interesting stuff about women dressing and acting differently when ovulating (more open and wanting to have sex) to when menstruating (not wanting sex). All sorts of little changes that most people do not 'see' but subconciously react to ... interesting stuff
So if you notice a woman who looks particularly sexy ... it probably means that she feels sexy ... for a few days anyway
Uh, and what about women who don't have periods, like me, but like to, on occasion, dress sexy? I did it for ME, not anyone else.
@AzVixen52 nothing there to say that any woman can not feel and act sexy whenever she wants
I appreciate your reaction, and I hope you made some of them rethink their beliefs.
I think some people hide behind the idea that how they dress can protect them from rape, or cause it to happen, which isn't true. A good example of this is the "What Were You Wearing" exhibit which displays the outfits women (and girls) were wearing when they were raped.
Yes. Rape rarely has anything to do with how sexually appealing the perpetrator finds the victim, and frequently has a lot to do with the perpetrator's need to exercise power over the victim. For the vast majority of rapists, it's all about forcing a woman to submit to his will - what she happens to be wearing isn't an influence.
Well said; it's always refreshing to hear a man who understands this. I hope that whenever you hear other men talking in a misogynist way about how a woman is dressed you'll explain to them why you disagree with what they say - when a man says "that's not ok" to other men's sexism, it really does make a difference.
Wearing a short skirt means I'm asking to be raped? Blaming the victim.
This is sexist and cruel.
It is! And it certainly doesn't explain the rapes of young children, frumpy people, or the elderly.
That's ridiculous! Someone once offered the following analogy. If I buy a big beautiful home, is it my fault if someone burglarizes it? If I drive a fancy car, is it my fault if someone steals it? Likewise, if a woman dresses provocatively, is it her fault if someone sexually violates her? The answer is NO! The problem is with the perpetrators, not the victim. Clothing does not imply consent [rehumanizeintl.org]
The way we dress doesn't mean we will have sex with just anyone.... That thought is in the minds of those who wish it was true, like a rapist....
Yes, very true. As we've seen from the many cases in which a rape victim who was dressed in clothes men find sexy has been viewed in court as less worthy of sympathy and justice than a woman who was raped while wearing more conservative clothing.
How we dress does say something about us. Nuns and sex workers don't dress the same.
I make judgments constantly throughout any given day, about people and what they might be like, based on whether they're wearing a bright yellow, polka dotted jumpsuit, or a rubber band as a skirt.
I feel we are all entitled to our judgments about the clothing people wear, or what it might say about someone, but to judge that person as "good" or "bad" or that some people have more or less value, based on their clothing, is where I draw my line.
I think the difference between how nuns and sex workers dress says a lot more about men than the women wearing those clothes: a nun's habit says to men "unavailable, off limits" whereas a sex worker's revealing clothing says to them "you can have me". It tells us nothing at all about the woman - the nun might secretly yearn for lots of sex, while the sex worker might hate sex and wish she could be celibate.
@Jnei
We can't know what's in the minds of others, which is why I say that one can't be judged for being good, bad or seen as having more or less value based on what they're wearing.
I respect that women in western civilizations are free to make their own decisions, whether they choose to be part of a clergy, or sex work.
The same goes for men. If I see a man walking around without a shirt on, when it's not even that warm out, I don't blame women. I make an assumption that he wants to show his body. That's his prerogative, and I don't label it as good or bad, but it does tell me he is choosing to do that. And, I'm free to decide how I feel about that, which is not good.
Societies change and evolve. There are double standards for both men and women and we all have some progress to work toward. I can agree that some clothing (clergy) was inspired by men, but no one is telling a sex worker, who isn't captive, how to dress. She is making a choice based on how to succeed in her business.
@Athena I absolutely agree with most of that, and was not attacking what you said. I'm not convinced sex workers are not captive, however - some may work in that field of their own free will, but I suspect the vast majority are forced into it and prevented from getting out of it by a variety of means - debt, the need to purchase drugs or sheer desperation, plus in many cases coercion by criminals.