I was wondering about revenge porn... does it have to be malicious? Can it be done unintentionally? For example, if a woman/women send(s) a guy nudes, and these images are not publically available nor is the person a sex worker, if the guy shares those nudes on facebook or on the agnostic forum, would that count as a type of "revenge porn"? Since the guy did not get consent to share the image(s)? I have been wondering about this ever since I saw a member sharing nudes women sent him in one of agnostic's groups. Thoughts?
7
Enjoy being online again!
Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.Create your free account
55 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.It seems the seniors here are vehemently opposed to anyone taking a nude and think that a ruined reputation and ruined career are just punishments for making the foolish mistake of taking a nude... for me, the punishment is way too excessive and should not fit the stupidity... then there's the funny quote I came across, which is hyperbolic and tongue in cheek: "Could you imagine if dick pics ruined someone’s career? There would be no male politicians!"
demifeministgal
Level 8
Oct 31, 2019
0
"Just punishments"???? How about "actions have consequences", ? a concept anyone must understand as they go through life. Choosing to drive drunk, or shop lift, or take nudes & put them on the internet....stupid, incredibly stupid and no one would advise you to do the first 2, yet yell "victim" if YOU Do So knowing what can & will happen. A nude poster must get undressed, groomed (I hope!) posed, take the pix & send them....a far cry from a woman who has been raped, abused, tricked out of money, etc. who is Actually a victim. Taking nude pix of yourself & sending them off where you Know you have lost control the minute you hit "send" is NOT being a victim, it's being STUPID, period!
@K9Kohle789 you really need to stop taking this so personally I will forever defend victims of revenge porn even though I have no nude pics out there.... die mad about it!
@AnneWimsey nudes are typically not shared on the internet, they are shared via these things called smartphones... y'all may have heard of them? They then get transferred onto the internet by the depraved perp. The more you know 
Also, false equivalency aka TERRIBLE analogy... drunk drivers and thieves HURT or can hurt other people. Nude pics hurts nobody unless disseminated without consent, and then just hurt the one taking the pics. You see the difference yea?
@demifeministgal ummm and once you send one, you have totally lost control of it, yes? And smartphones are directly connected to the internet, it is what makes them "smart"....????!!! And nude pix can indeed hurt the "model", perhaps many years later, by keeping them from getting a good job, for example. Which, BTW, the reason they don't get the job/promotion is because the potential employer sees how dumb they are, not their nakedness per se.
@AnneWimsey although I would never send a nude pic to anyone. I wouldn't compare it to driving drunk or shopllifting .. Your examples are ridiculous...
@Cutiebeauty all very poor choices that can severely impact the perpetrator's life...period!
What is ridiculous is to to call fools who, after thought, grooming themselves, posing, snapping, & sending pix they would Not want 99% of their family & friends to see, never mind the entire world, "victims."
@Cutiebeauty, @Doraz never said it was wrong, said it was STUPID. and I really, really question your stats.......
@AnneWimsey stats? What stats? Are you referring to me or @doraz?
@Cutiebeauty the "stats" that "most young people have nudes out there".....Riiiggghhhtttt
@Doraz if it is "normal" than it by definition is the majority, at least half.) Which I strongly doubt.
@demifeministgal "personally"....?????????? I am trying to get across to people, especially young women, how incredibly foolish they are to do this! I can tell it is too late for you, but it is SUCH a bad idea and a way to learn how Not to trust real fast, in a nasty way.
@AnneWimsey Yes I acknowledged that the model in question would be hurt but I think you stopped reading my reply? So it hurts the person but not OTHER PEOPLE ALSO, as drunk drivers and thieves do.
I also think another poster made a good suggestion even though we disagreed, one can take a nude without one's face or any personal identifiable info/imagery.... that way even if they do get shared, nobody can prove who it is. I also think we teach young women that it may be illegal what is happening to them and they can seek legal recourse.
@demifeministgal because the parents, grandparents, brothers/sisters of the poster remain "above it all"? (When all their friends are offering lingering "sympathy"?) Because an employer loses what might be a great employee? Because we as taxpayers get deprived of a great Judge or public defender, or teacher? You are amazingly foolish!
@AnneWimsey And you are amazingly outdated and archaic... clearly this is a discussion to be had amongst younger women as all old women can offer is judgement, condemnation and condescension... go to bed grandma... we are done here. As I said elsewhere, older does not always mean wiser.
@demifeministgal too bad so sad your pix are already out there, and you must justify it with falsehoods about "everybody does it" and resort to name-calling.....incidentally, in 1968, before any internet or smartphones, my then-husband, overseas in the Navy, asked for nude pix of me to "ease his lonliness". I refused. There is Nothing new under the sun, only infants think there is.
@Doraz you both assume sending nudes is a new thing,,,,duuuh.
And, again, so sad too bad, if you really thought you were doing the "right thing" or being trendy, you would not feel so defensive. I feel bad for your families! I never waste time on stupid.
@AnneWimsey So I thought I was being trendy by not taking a nude?? I think you need to take a nap or getting STRONGER prescription glasses if you think any of that. OR has senility hit you already? oh dear. And if you knew what my family was like you would not feel sorry for them at all... you would feel sorry for anyone that has to deal with them... so it is you that appears stupid by saying that. XD lol
@AnneWimsey I mean if you think it is sad that my fully clothed pics are out there, then you MUST feel sad for yourself as well since your pics are out there too. hmmm
You know what else I am and defend? Women's right to have an abortion... yet I have never had one. LGTBQ+ rights yet I am not a member of that community. Black lives matter and the rights of visible minorities, yet I am white as a snowflake.... for you see, I can care about issues and causes that do not personally impact me... can you do the same? Seems not. :/
@demifeministgal why are you confusing yourself with Doraz?
@AnneWimsey Because you literally said it is too late for me and my pics are already out there.... because you were SO SURE that the only way I could be against revenge porn or men sharing nudes without consent is because I have experienced this personally... here is a screenshot of YOUR words to me... at least have the integrity to admit you were wrong about me and apologize geeeze! It won't kill you to admit your assumptions were wrong. XD
@Doraz Except that she said it is too late for me and too bad so sad my pics are out there... I mean we should all be equally sad then since all our clothed pics are out there. heh
@demifeministgal again, why are you confusing yourself with someone else....because the Site mis-directed my reply??? Geez, lady.......oh, wait, porn star.....
@AnneWimsey LOL then learn to use the site and learn how to reply to the right person.... this is the online equivalent of if you were replying to doraz but you looked at me the entire time you were talking.... then you got confused why I thought you were addressing me as you stared at me! XD
I gotta say if I were a porn star my life would be much better than it is now due to all the excess money I would have..... so if only! XD heh
@demifeministgal good answer...I wonder how Doraz is doing...oh, wait, she does freebies, I think........
If the receiver of the nude pics doesn’t get express permission to share said pics, then he/she is a violator of the others rights.
Period.
Santanaman9
Level 7
Oct 30, 2019
10
So, way back in this thread I posted essentially, that any pix of anything, once on the 'net, are there forever & in nobody's control, and could destroy your life 20 years later. And good luck on prosecuting the poster, because " my phone got stolen" or whatever......So, don't do it. Period. I got 2 replies saying I was "victim blaming". And attacking women. Sorry, stupid is stupid. And the same could happen to a man, like, oh, I dunno, a Supreme Court nominee....., or the husband of an aide to a Presidential candidate?
AnneWimsey
Level 9
Oct 31, 2019
4
"Revenge Porn" generally has a malicious component to it, a deliberate intent to cause harm and duress to the victim. That said, just because you do not intend harm in your actions, does not mean you do not cause harm with them. Nor does it exempt you from the consequences of hurting someone.
It does not matter what the persons intentions are, if they recieved nudes, and did not get permission to share those nudes, then it is a violation of consent to share them with anyone. Period.
When receiving nudes one should always assume that they are for you and you alone, unless it has been made clear by the sender that some degree of sharing is allowed. And if that is the case you only share within the exact parameters the sender has layed out. Anything less is an unacceptable betrayal of their trust.
JeremyTaylor
Level 8
Oct 31, 2019
5
That sounds like a very good thing.... yet people in this forum seemed to not realize that when a guy was sharing nude selfies women sent him... I do wonder if they all explicitly said yeaa sure! share our pic in your porn swap group on agnostic.com.
@demifeministgal what group did this happen in?
"I got hacked", "I lost my phone"..... you think you can Prove who sent the pix? And punish them if there is a shadow of doubt?
@JeremyTaylor I'd rather not say as it is not the group's fault that that happened... the blame lies with the member.
I came across this post online and it seems something to ponder... there may just be a generational divide and this is an issue millenials and post-millenials will have to navigate that Boomers and Gen X'ers never did. >.>
demifeministgal
Level 8
Oct 30, 2019
2
@K9Kohle789 The ones I have seen posted on the site, the women were doing seductive or erotic posts and so I guess the face added to the effect or something... I really don't know.... I've never taken a nude but in the distant past have done online video chat with a bf and went topless in the video... you couldn't see my face though.... but if someone were to ever get a hold of that video and try to ruin my career prospects for an intimate moment with a partner it would seem cruel and vindictive.
@K9Kohle789 Guys ask for em and some guys will pressure women to send em... not everyone has the best boundaries especially when young(er). I never sent any but I know guys got aggressive with me and name called or stated there is something wrong with me for not sending any... the entitlement was disgusting and a huge red flag.... glad I never ended up meeting those fckers for a date (I talk for some weeks or longer before meeting a stranger for a date).
I'm not sure how you could unintentionally post nudes.
JimG
Level 8
Oct 30, 2019
6
What I meant was As in the guy had no desire to ruin the career or reputation of the woman/en in question, he just wanted to share nudes with others that appreciate nudes.
JimG:
@demifeministgal I guess you could view it that way, but the poster would have to be really ignorant of the internet and reality.
@JimG The guy that posted or the nude pic taker?
JimG:
@demifeministgal The poster. I would assume that the person who took the pic did so with some expectation of discretion on the part of its recipient.
@JimG okay thanks for clarifying 
It is 100% not ok to post private photos that are not of you.
CommonHuman
Level 7
Oct 30, 2019
5
The main reason why I refuse to send inappropriate pictures to anyone. Once they're out of your possession, anyone can see them.
I don't consider that to be revenge porn, however I do consider that to be out of line. The pictures were sent to that persona and that person only. They weren't meant to be shared, and I'm willing to bet if the original owner (the one who sent the pics) were asked, they would say "NO" to the sharing.
kiramea
Level 7
Oct 30, 2019
3
Sending nudes is as dumb as it gets....someday you could be in line for a nice promotion, teaching, running for office, spokesperson for a cause, etc etc etc, even 20 years from now, Aaaannndd up they pop! And good luck tracing the "gulity" party....that would be You!
AnneWimsey
Level 9
Oct 30, 2019
4
Myah:
This is victim blaming in my opinion. Right to consent does not „expire.“
There is no way the victim is at fault for the actions of another
This is victim blaming I agree... it reminds me of those people that would say if you just drank less or dressed differently you would not get raped.... the point is MEN send nudes out all the time, otherwise dck pics wouldn't be so widely discussed and reviled... yet their careers are not ruined.... so how come the advice given to women is not the same given to impulsive men??
@demifeministgal ummmm, yes their careers can be ruined, as well. Stupid is genderless!
IMHO if you don't have the persons permission don't post 'em.
ronnie40356
Level 7
Oct 31, 2019
3
They would throw the book at him in court sharing nudes without permission is not allowed at all I'm surprised he's allowed to post them on this site
Simon1
Level 7
Oct 31, 2019
1
I have seen & heard nothing , ever, being done because, "my phone got hacked " or "I lost my phone"....hard to prove & so no convictions/fines possible if there is a smidgen of doubt.
Just do not take pix of yourself (even wearing a funny hat!) That you do not want to see 20 years later when you are up for a federal judgeship, duuuuh......
@AnneWimsey there's been lots of convictions in the UK some high profile . Plus the guy who set up the site that started it all got about 20 years in prison for if
@Simon1 suspended......
@AnneWimsey suspended???
@Simon1 some lawyer gets a jury to convict, but the sentence /fine gets suspended as cooler heads prevail...happens All the time!
I think this was the best informative, non-judgemental reply tbh: "It not revenge porn but it is unethical and illegal in many states to share personally given pics without consent. This behavior should never be tolerated on any website.
Revenge porn is any nude or sexually explicit pic posted or shared in order to embarrass or harm someones reputation or harmfully affect their work/career or lives in general."
demifeministgal
Level 8
Oct 30, 2019
3
No nude photos of me have ever been successfully developed, assuming you don't count the video of my last colonoscopy. You'd have to pay somebody, probably quite a bit, to deliberately look at photos of my naked ass. However, if someone shares an intimate photo of you without your consent, no matter where, that's wrong. If someone does that with an intimate photo of me, I won't be the only one complaining, you can count on that. This is really a very lazy form of revenge, jesus be creative.
zeuser
Level 9
Oct 30, 2019
3
But that wouldn't be revenge nudes? Would it? I would call it consensual nudes.
I'm not sure exactly what you mean by "revenge porn." Revenge for what? I can tell you one thing however. River Rick covered this subject fully in his reply. This is just how it is. I quote again:
I am not sure of the criminality of what you describe but everyone MUST start thinking... When a picture leaves your phone or PC... The world owns it and you no longer have control. That's just a fact!
DenoPenno
Level 9
Oct 30, 2019
3
Sharing nudes of someone demonstrates a breach of trust and a lack of respect for them, even if it's done without malice of forethought.
Irrespective of whether or not at that moment the other person cares if you share them, you are playing with that person's future. They may come to have second thoughts about this some time down the line.
It is always best to err on the side of caution in these matters and not to share anything which has the potential of negatively impacting the lives of others. Sometimes, you must be the adult in the room and to judge what is in the best interest of fools.
Radioscope
Level 5
Oct 31, 2019
2
There are no federal laws preventing someone sharing an intimate photo of someone online. This means that if someone shares a picture with anyone else, they can do what they want with it. If you lack the courtesy to respect someone else, that's just rude. You wouldn't hand out nudes of your lover to your coworkers, why would you share them online?
Happy_Killbot
Level 7
Oct 31, 2019
2
Since I've been accused of "victim blaming", I'll own that.
I absolutely blame whomever has nude pics on their phones or computers,
or sends nude pics for being stupid (yes, I said stupid), and not being prepared for the very real possibility of those pics being shared, whether it's intentionally or otherwise.
Trusting anyone with nude pics of yourself is foolish, regardless of
what you think the relationship is.
It's called the "Law of Unintended Consequences".
People need to consider the worst thing that could possibly happen BEFORE
they put themselves in a position to be taken advantage of.
I'm not saying that there shouldn't be legal consequences for anyone
who shares pics without the consent of the subject.
However, lost and stolen phones, hacked accounts, and people being
straight-up assholes, should be taken into consideration at all times.
If you're going to take nude pics of yourself, you ought to be prepared
for the possibility of things you didn't intend happening.
This is the world we live in, and the technology we use makes it more
likely to happen.
Using the excuse of "having a bit of fun" means nothing. Take the pics,
take the risk. Trust no one.
It is NOT the same thing as owning a car and expecting to have it stolen, or
being female and expecting to be raped.
Both are an attempt to conflate and are specious "arguments", at best.
I realize that I'm probably going to piss off some people with my position on
this, but I am tired of hearing people whine when their own actions come
back to bite them.
KKGator
Level 9
Oct 30, 2019
2
Enjoy being online again!
Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.Create your free account
Share this post
Related Groups More
Memes R Us
3036 members
Categories
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.