I have 4th stage prostate cancer so I will dies soon. Dying is not a problem more how I have lived is of interest. My view is that we are just one species of animal which has been given the opportunity to think, remember and reason. I find it pretty incredible, given how insignificant we are in the the cosmos that we cling to the idea that we are somehow special, that there is a creator which is interested in us and will grant us eternal life. It seems to me that together with self awareness comes the urge to fantasize about nearly everything. Entertainment, drugs, religion, human rights - all forms of escapism and wanting things to be other than they are point to a refusal to accept the world as it is. Most people seem to desperately want things to be anything other that they are. And even faced with the most stark evidence they shy away from accepting the truth. Death is not the problem, how to live is.
I came back to your posting to both compliment you on your perspective and to thank you for putting this issue out here.
I want to let you, and others, to know that there is an international organization, called the "Death Café Movement," that is a place for people to meet, and talk about death, rather than live as if it does not exist, wearing blinders. It is not a bereavement group, not a religious group, though it is often sponsored by a church:[google.com]
I argued this with my spouse. That none of us are that important in the cosmos. We are compost for the short term, and star dust for the long. It is what we do while we are cogent. That we live to do no harm. That we repair the harm we have done. That we pass on to our posterity the best of ourselves. I plan to pass with ease. May you pass with ease as well.
Love this!
I hope that I can face death with a similar attitude. My only fear has been that as I grow older I will grasp at straws to find something that offers hope for a continued existence. I accept my mortality now, and I realize that some day in the not so distant future I'll be dead. However since my death is not obviously imminent, I cannot say how I'd react to being in a situation similar to yours.
I don't see our refusal to accept things as they are as a problem though. That is human nature and is the only reason we've made any changes to our existence. My only hope is that trait will be used to save our species rather than to destroy it.
I also have stage 4 prostate cancer, I am in Colorado going through radiation treatments. I am told that this facility is the best in the united states. I am going to the university of Colorado Anshutz cancer treatment center. I don't have any problem with dieing. I don't believe any of that bullshit I have been told my entire life. I don't want a bunch of "Christians" around me praying and singing when I die. I came into this world alone and I'll go out the same way. I thought about getting it put on my headstone that I didnt believe in shit. The rock os infinite and future generations will look on me as someone who was way ahead of their time.
took quite a few words to say what shakespeare said much better & more succinctly: life is tale told by an idiot, full of sound & fury, signifying nothing.
My fear of death was much less after reading Christopher Hitchens last book Mortality. He wrote it after he found out he had stage 4 throat cancer. I wish you the best and thank you for your contrabition.
I lost a friend to this a year ago. He didn't know he had it until it was already too late but he still got another 5 or 6 years after the diagnosis although the treatment took a lot out of him. Enjoy what's left to you - we will all be following in your footsteps sooner or later. Hugs.
A lot of us say we don’t fear death just the pain in getting there. I admire brave people like you. They’re an inspiration to me. Thanks for sharing.
Yes!
I have been told no one gets out of here alive!!!
Seems that is a conclusion that can not be disputed!!!
I know at least 2 men who survived this cancer...get second opinion(s), do not give up!
They survived even though they reached stage 4??
@demifeministgal yes! One was a Penpal of mine for close to 5 years, he had had prostate cancer, including radical surgery, etc etc.about 3 years before I met him. He died of lung cancer....heavy smoker all his life, was 82 when he passed.
Welcome to the asylum. Enjoy your stay.
My sympathies on your diagnosis. I hope you are not in a lot of pain.
I don't pretend to know what anyone else is going through, but I can
try to empathize.
I completely agree with your thoughts as stated.
I always say, no one here gets out alive. Better to face it head on, with honesty.
It's not how long you live it's how much life you live. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Be well.
I admire your acceptance of how things are. I'd only offer one suggestion, each of us is "special", not because of a creator and all that stuff, but because we each feel. Like you mentioned, we can reason and remember, put simply, we can learn.
What we do with the things we learn is the key, to me. You sound like you know this already, so I apologise if I'm being pedantic.
Truth spoken. I have subscribed, for sometime, to the perception of death written about in the Hagakure. Squeezing the hell out of now and my health is so important and you nailed it. There was a saying in the U.S. Army; " free your mind and your ass will follow". Namaste
you leave us with a lot to think about. i beat the same cancer, but i don't think I could speak as eloquently as you had things gone the opposite way. thanks. if it's not too trite, best of luck
I wish you well with the time you have left. We all make our own choices in life, some of them don’t seem so clever in retrospect, but that is what it means to be human. We may just be a speck in the universe, but to those with whom we interact while we are alive, we do matter, and what we do matters to them, and us. In that respect we are important, and because we are reasoning, thinking, sentient beings, we can decide what we want to do, and even change direction if we see that it’s not what we need to fulfil us or make a difference. Not everyone is hedonistic and indulgent, and there are many of us who like to believe we are altruistic and caring, without any need for reward, either now, or in a hereafter. My husband was faced with a limited time to live a few years ago, he decided to go around the world to visit and say goodbye to as many of his old friends as possible. It shortened his life by a few moths I believe, but he lived his life and died the same way...on his own terms.
Wanting things to be different than they are, was identified as THE source of human suffering by the Buddha. This was not a religious concept to him, just a true thing.
May you have happiness.
May you be free from suffering.
May you experience joy and ease.
May you leave this life with joy and ease.
I died. twice. it didnt take. there's nothing to fear. the cool part is when you start to slip away and all the little hang-ups and bullshit filters your mind adds to your normal reality fall off and you see things with such clarity. nothing to fear, nothing to regret. just enjoy the ride. you'll be back.