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Not sure how to even start, this is more like a venting post than anything else. But I guess only like-minded people will sort of understand my situation.
I was raised without religion, not even baptized. My parents are both professionals in the scientific industry.
As they age, my mom has become extremist. She has shown signs of racism, discriminatory comments towards all kind of cultures and a major Trump lover. Yes, that is right. She LOVES Trump. Anything that tangerine anus does, she raves about it.

  • Note: I am not into politics, but it is annoying to hear someone talking to you about politics after you have asked to stop.
    What really triggered my venting mode, is her religion point of view.
    She decided to come out of the closet (religion wise).
    My father has been at the hospital for over 15 days and she is the one giving my brother and I the updates on the situation. EVERY SINGLE message comes with several praying hands emoji AND spelled out words like prayer and hope. I guess this is a way to cope with the situation and I am holding myself not to say anything because of it (however, it irritates me in such a way - maybe from being forced to deal with it?)
    My mom and I do not have a great relationship, we do not have much in common, and I think the "lack of faith and religion" was one of the holding links between her and I.
Zoohome 8 Feb 24
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10 comments

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1

As a relative, you can call the nurses' desk on your dad's ward & get your own updates.
So sorry you are being extra-stressed & she is not respecting your requests!

1

Nasty situation be patient she's still your mom, give it time perhaps she will eventually get her senses back. In the meantime hope your dad recovers

bobwjr Level 10 Feb 24, 2020
2

♥️♥️♥️
Hi my friend . I think u are going to have to learn to ignore her . Breathe , ignore , breathe , ignore . And smile . It does not matter . And I hope dad gets to be healthier soon .

2

I am so sorry that you are going through this, I had no idea she had gone in that direction. My mother took a similar turn in her later years and it was very hard for me to deal with.

2

The current lack of commonality with one's Mom with whom previously you shared principles could put one into intense inner conflict. If you once loved each other, my urge would be to know how her totally opposite thinking began. If you cannot get an answer, I think you may need a bit of help from a psychologist, because the complete lack of understanding from your Mom could cause you a lot of PTSD. I think I would ask a counselor about coping mechanisms to try. You can even hire a psychologist online who can counsel you by phone. The situation you're in seems quite difficult to handle alone.

I can see exactly what you are saying, but I did not think of that way. I do know my brother has been in therapy for years now to be able to deal with their relationship and his marriage.
Have I mentioned my mother is a psychiatrist herself? Then imagine growing up with one as a mother and having to deal with an elder person "knowing" how to manipulate and explain things as well as thinking she does not have mental problems.
Thank you for your input, it means a lot more than you would think. 😉

1

Glad you got it off your chest. I think if I wasn't raised with religion. I would be better off today.

I think people that was raised with religion and then became agnostic/atheist is able to deal with religious family members. For me it is becoming hard as I never ever heard anything being thanked to god in my house.

@Zoohome i have been an Atheist for over 2 years and been an happier person since. Good luck with your issues.

2

I'm not saying that I can relate to what you are going through, because I can't honestly say that.

I have a older brother who once was considered the black sheep of the family. I looked up to him for being different and somewhat rebellious. All of that changed when he was diagnosed with emphysema. He became an ultra-conservative Christian and a Trump supporter. I can't pretend to understand how or why he changed. I mark it down to fear of his death sentence and because of his abrupt change, we barely speak anymore except for niceties.

Your mom sounds like her fear has overcome her and is also showing signs of Alzheimer's. I don't know if this is true or not, but the way you have described her personality changes leads me to say this. I have had firsthand experiences with two family members who had Alzheimer's and both changed dramatically from the way I had known them. I simply put up with them and played along as best as I could.

This is my 'take' on your situation.

It is very possible my mom has some sort of brain disease. Beyond the religious tendencies, extremist favoritism and inequality judgement, she forgets things and denies other actions.
Hard to deal with seeing your parents (who once you lseeing as the greatest and most knowledgeable) aging. Thank you for your input

@Zoohome I hope I am wrong.

3

Rant as much as you need.. Then break something!

2

Your relationship with your mother sounds very similar to my relationship with my father. But, I put up with his bullshit a lot more than I like, but I have little choice if I want to spend time with my mother, who I get along with well. There is no good solution but life is full of shit you have to put up with.

Sounds like it. I really enjoy my father's company, we are very alike. They are married and we have to deal with mom to have time with dad.

4

Vent away, I I think a lot of people here understand. It sucks to be prayed at, and good luck.

thank you!!!!

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