Donald Trump's Mother's Day Message to all the Moms:

<Fox News, Donald Trump on the phone>

Ainsley Earhardt: This Sunday is Mother's Day, what are your plans, what are you gonna do for Melania and do you have a message for all the moms that are, that are watching us this morning?

Donald Trump: Well, uh, we'll be together, uh, uh, I'm going to, uh, Camp David, meeting with, a big meeting, with the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and Camp David is this very special place that nobody ever gets to see but it's a great work environment and, uh, we're going to have meetings on different things, and, uh, our military has never looked better, never been better, we've never had the kind of equipment that we have now, and, uh, you know, we had planes that were 50 years old and, and more, fighter jets, now we have the best in the world, the F-35 and the F-18, and, you know, what we have is incredible, uh, the equipment and the, the, uh, people we have are great, but you know, they have to have equipment and, and we spent $1.5 trillion, really more than that, uh, and we've totally rebuilt our military, which you have to do! You know, I'm a very budget conscious person but you have to do, the nice thing is all built in the USA and plenty of equipment coming, lot of this equipment is coming, so it very important that we have the best military and we have the, uh, our military has never been in condition like it is now and soon will be.

Earhardt: <Fixed unblinking Botox smile, doggedly attempting to get Trump on track> Do you have a message for the moms that are watching?

Trump: Well all I can say is Happy Mother's Day and I had a great mom, I loved my mom and she loved me which isn't ... hard, which is, I must tell you, probably not easy to do, but she was so good to me, she was so good, I couldn't do any wrong, which is a big problem, maybe that's why I ended up the way I ended up, I dunno, I couldn't do any wrong in her eyes. And I had a great father too, great guy, very different types, but my mother was a terrific woman, and uh, uh, Melania's been a great mother to Barron, I will tell you that, Barron is, uh, growing up ... really beautifully and she's been a great mother to Barron.

The guy can't even do a Mother's Day message like a normal politician.

What are you going to do for Melania? Well, I'm going to Camp David and hang out with some generals and have lots of meetings. Be gone all weekend. Far away.

Which, you know, might be the perfect gift, social distancing wise.

Also, this is where I'm pretty sure I should mention that the F-18 entered service 41 years ago or perhaps I'm digressing as seems to be the thing we do nowadays. Probably shouldn't mention those nearly 70-year-old B-52s either. (Yeah, that's right). Or that the F-35 is actually manufactured by an INTERNATIONAL consortium led by Lockheed-Martin. Or...Oh, never mind.

Happy Mother's Day, America!