It is never easy to go against convention, no matter what society you are in, it is only a matter of levels and your ability to adapt. I was able to not only survive but thrive during my 10 years working for and with the church. It becomes a matter of how willing you are to adapt and ignore. My sympathies for your struggles. Once you realize that gods have no power and accept that lying to survive is easy.

Then move to the US or EU.

Not easy to become an atheist in the south. It’s getting better but you better believe you will catch hell. I’d probably be disowned from my family if I came out. Funny thing is I’ve been so indoctrinated busy church that even though I don’t believe in the Christian god anymore I still can’t call myself an atheist. Atheist I guess had such a bad connotation when I went to church that I just cannot do it.

So, is there a difference between a pee prayer and a poo prayer?

I managed to break free, and my mother was the church organist.

And the head of state is the “Voice of God” as well.

Ummm, nobody is watching, since there is no Gawd......unless you carry a big sign saying "I am an atheist", how would anyone know?
And where did you go to register your "conversion"?
What is "painful"? Secretly laughing at religious fools?
I do not understand your post......

If people have no way to prove what they want you to think, they have to resort to repetition, so that even thinking about questioning becomes too much of a task to face.

If you encounter heavy repetition therefore, it is reasonable to guess that you are being sold a lie.

Not only are people immersed in religious dogma all day but in many theocracies blasphemy is still punishable by death.
Unbelievably the law of blasphemy was only abolished in Scotland last year.
The last person to be executed for blasphemy here was Archie Aitkenhead just over 300 years ago in Edinburgh.
We are continuously told to be tolerant and respectful of religions. That's OK as long as they have no political power.
There is a sizeable Muslim minority in the UK and a few years ago an MP suggested that they should be allowed to practice Sharia law. He was obviously angling for the Muslim vote. A crazy idea. They should be bound by the laws of the land like the rest of us.