I would never try to deprive her of anything. But thanks for the feedback. Maybe, no idea.

Thank you for the reply but he is the one who texts and calls. She is never the initiator and there are no "confidences" between them. And she always includes me. I don't think there is any connection on my wife's part that is inappropriate. However I do notice that he calls her first when a need arises and will proceed to talk to her about things that he doesn't talk to me about. Except when my wife goes out of her way to include me. My concern is his intentions and/or a progression in closeness that might lead to an emotional affair. And, being raised with the attitudes I was, I notice and worry. But we do talk about it and we are both respectful of each other. I just posted here to get the thoughts of those with an external perspective. Unfortunately, as usual, people are reading in their own assumptions, most of which are wrong.
Perhaps someday I will learn to stop posting on social media. People seem to always read things that aren't there.

@towkneed Might you speak with youz guyz friend and ask what his intentions are? I am sorry you feel you shouldn't have confided in us. These are merely the vibes we are picking up from your description of the situation. You wife may be totally innocent, but men are always sniffing around. What happens if you answer the phone? You might consider what his intentions are then you can assess his reaction & know you are aware of his attention. Do not hesitate to seek counseling. They are trained to provide you with options we here may not be aware of. We are just giving feed back.

@Mooolah I thank you for the feedback. It was what I asked for and what I wanted. So thanks.

Wow. ASS - U - ME.

@AnneWimsey ASS - You -Me. You ass.

Thanks. And to answer your question I have found that men see female friends differently than women see male friends. I know that is a generalization and it is not universally true. However I used to when I was single. And I did my research. There are numerous studies showing that men see opposite sex friendships differently, and usually see attraction when none is there. For example, here is an article that mentions several (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/clear-communication/201708/1-1-opposite-sex-friends-blind-spot-threat-marriage). Also, if you read the comments here you can find examples of single men doing just that. I find that the majority of men would not respect marital boundaries if they felt it would lead to something.

I've always had better female friendships, longer lasting and more genuine (yes exceptions)

@towkneed I have always been able to respect boundaries with female friends, whether they were married or simply single and not interested in me romantically. But it probably helps that my sex drive is lower than most men and also, unlike most men, it seems, I am not always on the make for sex with any woman that seems attractive or prone to assuming interest in me is there when it actually isn't. If anything, I am prone to assume the opposite.

I don't know if that was meant as an insult or not. If so, I would direct your attention to these sentences in my post:
"
I trust my wife absolutely and would never try to tell her what to do. I find such behavior
offensive.
",
"
I told her I didn't have any right to tell her who to be friends with and that I would deal with it.
",
"
I ask because I feel like it should be and I trust my wife.
".
I expressed the same sentiment at least 3 times.

Thanks. We talked again today. I also did some research and found several articles from reputable sources (Psychology Today for example) that let me know I was not being paranoid. I even sent her 2 articles from Psychology Today explaining my fears much better than I could. She read them and was very surprised at how men often handle same sex friendships (several studies were mentioned). Today I feel much less anxious about it.

Sorry but you are wrong there. He and his wife share custody and I am at least as much of a caregiver as my wife.

I get your example understand your point. However I don't see my situation as similar. Maybe after years I will. However my wife and I communicate and I feel a lot better after our discussion yesterday.

I did have one but my wife got jealous and asked so I stopped being friends with her.

@towkneed "so I stopped being friends with her."
Who? The friend or the wife?
Jealousy has destroyed many a marriage. Tolerance has preserved marriages.

the friend. And it yes it was platonic, however I felt attracted to the friend and was trying to ignore it. And since my wife's happiness is more important than the friend I stopped the friendship. Anyway, perhaps my wife noticed the attraction I was trying to ignore. She was younger than my wife and very pretty. And in a perfect world that wouldn't matter, but I did find the friend physically attractive. Couple that with friendship and on a drunk future night, who knows. And she was married. There is the pavement on the road to hell.

Thanks but that's just not me. At least not the me that I am today.

@towkneed I was only kidding about the bat. About telling him to stay away from you wife? I would do that, he will. If he does complain to your wife, get the bat. Just kidding. He won't tho.

Thanks. We have been communicating and I do feel better today

@towkneed good to hear