I'm trying to change my tone of posting. A little less ick, a little more real life in the Midwest. (scary!!)

Three positive interactions with the pOlice

Yes. Me. And the police. ‍

That usually ends up with me in very unflattering orange jumpsuits, no real bra and a bunch of women I give numbers to for legal services. However....

1. Worked late last Tuesday on the heels of a COVID Omnicron breakthrough. 🥵🥶 I don't like driving at night, was not feeling all that well yet, and it was midnight. No rush. WHOOPWHOOP.... lit up. I felt instanteous drunk. Seriously. Like I was guilty of robbery, OUI, and likely some sex crime of some sort. 🥴 SERIOUSLY I was sober. He said I was driving to slow and had weaved. Yep. Probably. When he didn't want license, registration or insurance, it was almost weird. I was getting my defense in order. I told him I was a bit ill, with panic disorder, and he offered me EMT or to follow me home so I could take my normal medicine. Wait!!!!! HUH? I don't need to call a bond company or my boss?? OK. He followers me home, gave me a wave.

I'm thinking they're profiling.... Following my footprint here on agnostic on how many thoughts I think a day about them. Par. A. Nioa!!!! Shaking and waiting for SWAT.

2. Dr. Xanax Day! WOOHOO! Best day of the month... Always! 8 am. Cold. But things are good. I hadn't been arrested or anything. Car dies. Just dead. . Instant panic. Turn on the flashers, sit there. People are assholes, like I'm doing that for fun so they'll honk thinking that'll fix it! . I look up, WHOOPWHOOP! State Trooper. I held my hands out the window (I see a lot of shootings for less than being stuck) . I open the door, he has the biggest smile on his face. And said this (or close) "West Coast gal. Your cars don't like this cold humidity. Bet you're vapor locked." I'm so seriously confused he was so casual I almost hugged him, but that would've been weird (even though I smelled delicious that day, #JUST SAYIN) . He, him alone, started to push my car and me, and the next thing? Another Trooper showed up, and blocked 6 lands of traffic for four BIG construction guys that had me pushed out off the way in mere moments. Everyone asked if I had someone to call and of they went. HUH? No orange jumpsuit? (I was vapor locked. Fixed in no time, day carried on.)

But....

3. So this was a bit nafarious. I have been sick inside this house between Omnicron and a wicked storm for about 8 days. I was joking with my assistant that it was a liquor store day. So, SOBER, I embark. It's only like a mile or so. Things are good. Liquor, snacks, Netflix, missing my people, likely crying a bit, but.........

Heading home, and right before my street, my West Coast loving car, slips, then stops, refusing to go up a hill the size of a drop of water. I'm not stupid, so I look behind me, decide backing down is the best idea, seriously! from nowhere! WHOOPWHOOP! He passed by me, blocks all the traffic to where I can gain some traction, I'm beyond words...but things got weird!!! I'm good to go, on a level street my car isn't pissed at, he pulls beside me, and I'm sure I'm getting arrested for something, going to the liquor store during a winter storm... I mean, it's the Midwest! You go to jail for stupid shit here. Maybe there's a law, no liquor during El Nino or something. He Motions for me to roll down my passenger window. I do. my thought...SWAT Team.. Yikes
He says, "You don't see that everyday! A woman that knows how to drive and get out of a crisis." I have NO doubt my face was, "WTF!?!?!?! “ He gave me a . I said," Excuse me?“. He says. " Saw your tags. West Coaster. Ya All Ladies know how to drive. ". Then????? " Have a good day Ma'am"

I swear to you all here, especially those who know me. WTF is happening???? I think they're punking me.

So, I'm now going to drink this, whatever it is, and start posting usually crap like bad news.