It is kind of like the old Chinese saying about how you can actively chase a butterfly and it will always allude you, but when you stop and sit still it will land on your hand.

I think many on this site would probably tell you that they didn't find peace until they stopped trying to believe.

I have had some great "enlightening" experiences while in nature, but I don't credit god. I use meditation and mindfulness as tools to maintain my composer and stay relaxed; it is never a religious thing, it is a body and brain control element.

I explored other religions/ paths got into trouble with a pagan groups (different variations of paganish some following a Viking path others an Celtic path etc) when I pointed out that in each path there were the same gods called by different names but they all had a god/dess of thunder/storms/lightning, fetility, crops etc. Well did I get a dressing down with them jumping down my throat telling me that I knew nothing and the in the ">>>>>>" tradition the ">>>>>>" was a god not a goddess or was held in higher esteem. All points I had made in my origina post. So thus ended my interest in paganism as I was hoping for some broader minds and interesting discussion but they were just as closed minded as the xtians.

Now I enjoy nature and love being in it and that is probably as close as I get to a religious experience.
There was an English mentalist who made a series of TV shows and one was getting an atheist to have a religious experience (so an emotional response while sitting in a church) so show how it is done. He also showed how he gets people to do what he wants such as picking a number or word that he wants so he can show his "mind reading skils" Derren Brown just remembered.

Found a clip of it.

To what end does one seek enlightenment? Self-gratification? Escape from ones own noisy ego? Or from loneliness? To what end does one use their self-actualization?

IDK. I never have had a religious experience. But I have had many actual experience. Welcome to our mad house.

Take up stamp-collecting, knitting, cooking, any Productive pursuit that gives you enjoyment!
You have already seen how "ignoring" this obsession yields much better results!!

You need to take a step back, take it easy and enjoy what you have.

Want enlightenment? Get a flashlight, candles could do or matches.

I define a religious experience as any deep connection with nature. We think of nature as something "outside us" so the feeling of connection must be something we have to find. That is untrue and the connection can happen to us in any moment when we are not thinking about it. It is neither ironic or self-actualizing. It is merely a serene moment of joy. Something will happen to make you regret it.

How do you know you are enlighten? What is spiritual meaning?

I am 84 and really do not recall or know that I have ever had a religious experience.