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Why is it that people who were not religious before so often "get religion" and start going to church when they get pregnant or have a child for the first time? Ugh.

Amy0825 6 Apr 30
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38 comments

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6

Fear....of losing something precious.
Mind you , hormones throw all rational thinking out of the window.

6

Fear. Makes you do all sorts of desperate things.

Sometimes sheer non-spiritual needs such as hunger or unemployment bring people to church. Most rational people won’t discard a life-saving or beneficial opportunity just because it’s affiliated with religion.

6

Nothing compared to the amount of people who find "Jesus" after age 60. Seems people become "born avain" when they realize how close they are to deaths door. Normally their younger days were filled to the brim with indiscretions that hurt a lot of their family and friends.

??? I’m not there yet. Pls don’t scare me: I thought that when I turned 50 and gave up booze I’d be done doing silly things. I can’t imagine going to church at 60.

5

That did not happen to me.

Me either. I did research in various beliefs along with various child care things to take into consideration but didn't feel a need for a church.

5

Yes! Preach!!! I know exactly what you mean!! The pothead rebel kid growing up is now the loudest bible beater on Facebook. This lady has it out to annoy the crap out of me at all stages of life, apparently!! 😉

I have heard some friends say it’s important to them that their kids grow up with moral instruction. There’s that assumption that religion is required for morality!! I prefer my moral instruction with more history and reverence for mystery.

TBH, I can empathize. The community of concern and support one finds in a church is harder to find the secular world, in my experience. I just joined a UU church for that reason. No creed required!!

I have been a member of UU churches most of my adult life. I have also been agnostic since the 6th grade. Nothing changed when I had my kids, though. I guess I don't feel that church and religion are necessary for morality. One of my closest friends from college has become a religiobot. We can't even talk without disagreement. eyeroll

@Amy0825 Hold the gaze steadily. Combat eye roll. Seek to understand your friend. Friends can disagree. Friendship is very rare and should not be sacrificed over any disagreement.

5

Postnatal psychosis? I dunno, I've never been pregnant, but it's pretty well-established that pregnancy hormones can do a number on the brain sometimes.

4

Probably fear. Need for support they are not getting anywhere else. If they get it there they likely take that as a sign they are where they need to be.

When I first became a mom I didn't have much support but church was the last thing on my mind. Like anything else I pretty much faced and tackled it. Information digging and making sure daddy took in some baby time so I could catch my breath and take a break.

AmyLF Level 7 Apr 30, 2018

You nailed it. Churches in America provide support services and connections. Are there any non-church associations or groups that work in a similar way? I think so. I think this group brings people together. It’s somewhat deficient on the “human contact” element, but it’s a start.🙂

@ArturoS Yes, but they are usually set up more direct and specific, often government related such as social services, women's shelters, etc. Not every area will have some of those services and some of them will be limited by what they can do.

There are hobby groups and the like that might become something of a support group as well but it would be hit and miss as far as religious involvement goes.

When my son was still of school age I had a homeschool support group that was secular. We were with them until my son reached a high school level and didn't really want to go anymore but these mom's were incredible help and support to me in some pretty rough times.

There is stuff out there, it just takes narrowing down what it is you are looking for and googling, or hitting a meetup site or something similar.

4

People only find religion when they need something to believe in during a difficult time. God isn't found during good times in people's lives.

I think people go to church for reasons that aren’t religious. For instance, there is another post about a TV preacher-scammer named Charles Copland who goes to church to try to persuade people to give him money. Then there are people who may have lost their home or who may be looking for someone who can help them find work. And so on. I think that exegetics and faith are not at the top of most practical people’s list when they visit church.

@ArturoS ok? Random reply to my comment? I didn't mention church in my response.

@cvccosplay My sincerest apologies. The original question did concern religion and church. [“Why is it that people who were not religious before so often "get religion" and start going to church when they get pregnant or have a child for the first time? Ugh”]. Religion and church are related concepts. When people turn to religion, they often do it by going to church. And with all due respect, your comment did not expressly state that it applied solely to people who turn to religion but not to people who go to church. As a result of all that, when I read your comment I didn’t think that you meant to discuss only religion but not church.

Cynical, but highly believable... Though I do think some people can experience some form of connection to something higher in moments of great joy, happiness and relief.. we talk about "people" as though we were a homogenous mass, but everyone is different.. (There has to be some reason we call on God during sex! ?)

4

They suddenly feel responsible, all the big questions they of a non deep thinking mind, of non phiolosophic bent, never consider; come leaping to the forefront,and they have no answers for those.
Religion offers ready answers with no need for deep thinking.
A ready to eat microwave meal
Instead of a homemade Lasagna

Spot on! perfect comment

4

Alot of people think that a church will help with teaching morals to children.However where you raise children is important.I feel for people in areas where peer pressure is so hard on children.Country raised,and less materials spoils are far better,than high powered jobs,jj and demands.

Not long ago - I heard that many American kids living inner cities suffered from as much PTSD as a veteran may. Those kids were surrounded by drugs, crime, gunshots, fear. Innocence lost. If I was mother to one of those kids, I get him outta there, even if we had to walk to a small town somewhere to start again. I'd make it happen.

3

Where are you getting that information? I know I didn’t turn to mythology when my son was born, nor did I turn to it when he died.

3

Its like everybody's saying... its fear.

3

Fear and the "just in case" type thing. I once read that Walter Brennan wanted to check into religion a little further because "he wasn't getting any younger." That explains a lot for me.
Pregnant women might often think they have to get serious now because they are bringing another child into the world and they have to raise it right. OK. What does that have to do with gods or religion?

3

Fear. It is a 'just in case' move. I met a lady yesterday that will not do yoga because she is Christian, and does not want to be hear a Hindu thing. Same concept. Just scared

That is insane. I remember a woman that was interviewed on the street after Elvis died. She said she "didn't listen to that kind of music" because she was a Christian. I can remember thinking at the time of all the hymns Elvis sang

3

I have no idea but I have seen it, and I agree with your sentiment of "ugh"

2

I suppose some folks doubt their ability to create a moral structure they can justify to their kids, so they take the easy way out and let religion do it for them. Bad idea, if you ask me, and it's just a guess, but I bet it's true a lot of the times this happens.

2

First and foremost fear. Add in the changing family dynamics with a new baby (most especially the first new baby ) and many people decide that maybe there is something to be said for church. I fell into the same trap with new kids, a business that was under tremendous pressure to start being something other than a money pit, and the stress of marriage itself.

Ohub Level 7 Apr 30, 2018
2

The miracle of the birth of a child inspires belief in phony miracles....religious miracles.

2

Perhaps looking for somewhere to dump sudden responsibility? (I'm not ready for this!)

2

I wonder if it has something weird to do with the idea of baptism. Also maybe even though they didn't go to church they really hadn't given up the idea of religion and there are certain rites they feel they must take part in. Makes me wonder though if once the child is born and grows up a bit if they stick to their church

2

Doesn't really happen in Britain. Engaged couples will often 'fake it' for a few months before the wedding and attend some services if they want to be married in church, but they just revert to normal once the knot is tied.

1

The fear element created by our society that drives people to do things that is cordoned by society

Rosh Level 7 Apr 30, 2018
1

Some were probably were always prone to being persuaded but did not grow up in a particularly religious environment; others just had other priorities which change with their lifestyle, but were also prone all along. Bottom line is, as humans, we are all prone, some of us just had the audacity to look beyond the easy.

godef Level 7 Apr 30, 2018
1

For the same reason ex smokers start smoking again, Stupidity !

1

Is this a varifiable trend or just a few people you know? I have not seen this with people I know but that also doesn’t prove you wrong. If we are atheists because we are critical thinkers then I would say without evidence we don’t know.

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