My youngest claimed religion today, officially joined the cult that ruined my life...after being indoctrinated for the last 16.5 years. I left the cult when he was 10. I was hoping to help my kids 'Save themselves from this untoward generation', but he is the 4th one to have his brain stolen, in spite of my efforts. It is a religion without swinging doors, tho. So, if they ever leave, or make the wrong mistake that is considered a sin, they will be forever doomed, or rather, forever free of religion, thank goodness. One can hope....
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I explain how people are drawn to religion this way...
Humans evolved as "herd animals" which evolved through various species to instinctually gather in groups for safety. Humans are animals, and most of our animal instincts are still active, although they are felt and expressed mostly as emotions. Instinctually most humans are still instinctually driven to belong to groups, and belonging gives them a sense of safety and well being.
The one positive thing religion does is provide a sense of belonging and community. Religion plays on our animal instincts to gather in groups for safety. although religious leaders don't actually understand why people are drawn to religion, they do realize what methods work, or how, to draw people into religion.
Religion, unfortunately, is the only kind of organization which provides that sense of belonging and community while remaining constant over a person's entire lifetime.
So, I would not say that your children's convertion to religion should be seen as any kind of failure on your part. The idea of belonging to a group or community which provides an instinctual sense of safety and well being is very seductive, especially if the group will consistently be there for their entire lifetime.
Of course if your kids did it to spite you, then you could just mak a will to leave all your assets to the Freedom From Religion Foundation, so they wouldn't be giving ten percent to their church.
snytiger6
Level 9
Jan 17, 2023
2
Yes, it is definitely a herd mentality. They didn't do it to spite me but in spite OF me, LOL
and it would be a beautiful community if it were not for the dangerous teachings that I took way to literally...
Yep! Donate assets & lock out the cult. Beneficiaries of assets can not be challenged. A Will is merely a guide & has NO legal bearing.
So your efforts were to leave 4 of them when they were kids, and now you complain that they're indoctrinated? Wow.
Mofo1953
Level 9
Jan 17, 2023
1
i didn't leave THEM...I left the cult. I was and still am a homeschooling mom, very much engaged in my children's lives...as much as they will let me
@Realist9 sorry, i did not see that "left the cult" part, but perhaps doing the homeschooling is what did your kids in, I believe that any public school would have kept kids out of the religion crap due to the separation of church and state, when things like this occur one must define why and how did this happen, what could I have done different or better, because based on your post, your track record ain't that great, 0 for 4 tells me that you must look in the mirror for answers.
To each his own!!!
No matter what you do as a parent or friend those certain individuals will do nothing that is considered proper or sane by you!!!
of-the-mountain
Level 9
Jan 16, 2023
0
Well, in my circumstance...it's like everyone in my family befriending my rapist.
Sorry to hear this, hopefully he will come to his senses some day soon.
MichelleGar1
Level 9
Jan 16, 2023
4
Yes, I have hope....thank you..
@Realist9 You're welcome.
Think you have it rough? A non practicing Judaic atheist childhood friend of mine had 5 children. One still birth. One suicide at 14. One became a Moslem & lives in Dubai choosing to wear hijab. One became a Catholic eating the Kool Aid. Life is suffering & then one dies. So dance while one can!
Mooolah
Level 8
Jan 16, 2023
1
I though Kool aid is drinked, not eaten.
Yeah, there are some who have it worse than i do. But, my first husband died at age 20 at a jobsite the preacher had coaxed him into. And years later, our firstborn son died a horrible death due to the religious teachings...long story. So I figure i've had more than my share of grief....but I do still dance...
I understand your grief, but there is always hope that he/they will ultimately see how untenable that life is. I think some people just aren't strong enough to buck the pervasiveness of religion, to not be a part of the greater group with their family, business, and social lives, particularly in the US. Even Christopher Hitchen's brother returned to the church, and he had one of the most notable minds in the world explaining why he should not, so don't be too hard on yourself.
Lauren
Level 8
Jan 16, 2023
6
I agree, the odds were against it being any other way. His grandad is the preacher, he has childhood friends, cousins, siblings...a HUGE community. So, as bad as it it, at least he has them. I just took the religion way too literally...it ruined my life.
@Realist9 I'm so sorry. There seem to be a lot of people who operate quite well within the delusion for whatever reasons they may cling to it. Then there are the rest of us who are tortured and tormented by it, and are compelled to get free at all costs.
I don't wish torment on my loved ones who are believers, but I just exist on the periphery for when - if ever - they may need me to help them get free. It's all we can do.
My late partner felt the same way when two of her kids became S. Baptists. She constantly berated herself and said where did she go wrong. She then learned the fact that often critical thinking must be promoted from early on. Even though she was from a Moslem country, her illiterate mother taught her to question everything and from the time she could reason she thought religion was silly and how could people believe such nonsense. However, with accepting this knowledge meant so accepting accepting the fact of death which she embraced when her time came. I think for many, that last part is the hardest to deal with and they go to some belief that denies the fact of death.
JackPedigo
Level 9
Jan 16, 2023
3
Yes, I agree, the younger you reach children, the better. Most of mine were grown or nearly grown by the time I my eyes were opened to the lies. Thank you for your kind words.
If you have taught them to value skeptical questioning, and set an example of being a moral and caring person without needing religion. Then you have done all that you could and should have done, it is no fault of yours. And if you have done those things, then you will probably find that the attractions of religion will soon wear thin, a decade is a long time.
Fernapple
Level 9
Jan 16, 2023
7
I don't really blame myself, i mean i try not to, as i was a victim also. I began teaching them skeptical questioning as I was learning it myself...which was very late in life. ...Yes, I am hoping for a brighter future.
You do realize, I hope, that it's your fault your kids are wrapped up in a religious cult.
Flyingsaucesir
Level 8
Jan 15, 2023
1
Yes, I indoctrinated them the same way that i was indoctrinated. We were are all victims. But, when i saw the corruption in the bible, i knew it to be lies. Others don't seem to care what the book says.....
And, actually, religion isn't my fault...it was rampant when i arrived on this earth.
@Realist9 Yes, of course it's not ALL your fault. And I don't think your culpability includes malicious intent. At an earlier time your critical thinking skills were not what they are today, and you were duped. The ringleaders of the cult are the real bad guys. Even the educational system probably bears some responsibility.
As the prophet said:
"Properly read, the bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived. "
-- Isaac Asimov
If this cult uses the bible, buy him a copy and tell him to read it cover to cover at least twice to show devotion.
AtheistInNC
Level 7
Jan 15, 2023
8
I wish that would work...it worked for me. It didn't take but seeing TWO contradictions for me to know that a good god did not write that book. But i didn't stop there. I have found hundreds, and still find more 6 years later....But, at least 2 in my family told me that they DON'T CARE what it says.....there's not much you can do with that stubborness...
I'm sorry this happened but my 2 girls have went back to religion. Covid and the stay at home, Trump, and religion itself picking up on the now many disinformation sites helped bring this on. Also, my youngest daughter knows that believing in god is the only way she will see her dead son again. Add the fact that everyone wants to know everything and so many of us cannot say "I don't know." Hey, it must be true. Written in a book somewhere telling us our complete destiny. What a crock!
DenoPenno
Level 9
Jan 15, 2023
8
I buried a 25 year old son 7 years before i left the religion. Their teachings contributed to his death. When my eyes were opened to the dangerous lies that i had been living, i couldn't unsee them.
Despite best efforts sometimes children have to learn for themselves. I'm sorry this happened to you.
Betty
Level 8
Jan 15, 2023
9
Absolutely...I am convinced that my kids are not near as gullible as I was, so hopefully it won't harm them as bad. It is a community thing for them. It was life and death and TRUTH for me.
What cult was it?
Castlepaloma
Level 8
Jan 15, 2023
3
it is called free holiness
To me Religion is a concept of a culture. Free Holiness would be considered a cult because it's within the last century. Looks to be very strict. A Movement "the term 'perfection' signifies completeness of Christian character; its freedom from all sin, and possession of all the graces of the Spirit, complete in kind."
@Castlepaloma They literally stole my brain....teaching things from a 'holiness or hell' perspective. And only ONE sinfree chance or you are doomed forever. So, I made a lot of stupid decisions based on the corrupt teachings of man.
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