I'm perfectly content with the mental relationship I created in my imagination.

There's single then there's alone two different things entirely

I'm 52 and single once again after the end of my second 5 year marriage. First 1997-2002 and second 2013-18. Most of the time not married I've lived alone, and I have at times past wished I were with someone other than myself. Today my highest priority is to love life the way it is, and I find this state of mind extremely comforting.

It took me two bad marriages and a ten year roller coaster relationship to work on me. I learned why I chose the toxic partners. It took me several years to meet a nice guy. We became good friends and I've been single since.

I don’t believe in destiny but I do believe in positive and negative self-talk. It is possible to wire and re-wire the brain in a manner that will lead individuals toward or away from certain results. This is much more than positive thinking. We truly become what we think about. The things we think about, focuses our attention to finding affirmation of that idea or believe. For example, if I believe that people are rude, I consciously selective for examples of people begin rude, affirming my belief. This sort of enforcement of my belief also gives my brain a dopamine shot; enforcing addictive negative behavior. This is a form of Confirmation Bias because there are many instances of people not being rude, but I don’t see them or give them credit in my current world view about rude people. No one is destined, but we are all equipped with the social and cognitive skills that can point us to our True North.

I still believe there is alone and there is lonely. They’re different things.

I got divorced six years ago after being married for seven years.

The last six years have been at times fun, frustrating but never lonely. What I mean by that is that I divert my mind with other pursuits, ways of occupying my mind and time. Though I have had a couple of short relationships in that time I’ve not wanted to end my lone life. I find that my own space is valuable to me. No matter what I am not lonely.

My job requires me to be used to being on my own. As a train driver my cab is only ever occupied by me, so I’m accustomed to my own company.

Divorce has made me over cautious I think. But that is another tale. Needless to say I’m not rushing into anything. We learn from our mistakes so we will not repeat them

Ahh, well. Everyone lives a life that is in large part shaped by circumstances beyond our control. It starts with genetics, your location, socioeconomics, the people you meet, your upbringing, your health, how you make a buck, the list goes on. Are you meant to be alone due to any of those factors? I think it may well be an effect, but a lot of those things can change if you try hard enough to do so. We all, however, struggle to know just wtf to change. It ain't easy. A couple of things we can control, attitude and effort. And learning from errors, cuz we all make em. I dunno if that helps at all, that's what I got. Good luck, don't give up!

Like it or not we all prefer to be in a joyful, loving and caring partnership with another - trouble is, of course, that is not easily attainable and we must be discerning or court disaster. In short, it is a minefield but that does not mean "certain people are just meant to be single" - it is simply difficult that's all. ?

Yes, I've given up. I do think I was born to be alone. I was married for 21 years but it wasn't the best marriage. I recently got back into dating and I've had nothing but bad experiences. It does seem that some people have luck some people don't

There is no meant.

Well, I just turned 31 yesterday and I’m 2 years out of my last relationship. Which happened to be my longest relationship. I think I must suck at relationships but for an odd reason. I put my all into relationships. I’m one of those people that goes all in a relationship.

And after that relationship, I’m not sure if I want to get into another relationship. That last one really decimated my belief that everyone is meant to find be in a relationship. I spent my birthday completely alone. But I still had a pretty good day if I look at it from a different point of view.

Whatever makes you happy....

I do; I believe certain people are meant to be single. I finally realized I am one after two or three LTRs and two marriages, both of which failed. My problem is lack of spine. I felt I should follow tradition or 'go along with the crowd' and marry and have children. I wish I had done neither. Not only would I be free to travel and much wealthier, I'd be in a better state of mind. Very selfish, I realize, but some people are TRULY not meant for marriage. I would have saved myself much grief, strife and poverty realizing this much sooner.

I guess you would have to define to us what is a relationship. I go into a relationship not expecting to last until death do us apart. My unions last until is time to move on. I am still communicating with women I dated over 25 years ago in Europe. Great relationship with ex wife and ex girlfriend. I ended them with a friendly hug. My expectations never are.... "this is the one to last a lifetime". I am one of those lovers better at goodbye than hello. Even my 19 years marriage was not a failure. We got 3 wonderful, well adjusted adult citizens that we don't need to go visit them in prison, hospital, sanatorium or cementary. That is success.

Completely been there....

A compulsive liar and a misogynistic narcissist.

The only solution lies with me. I have to strengthen my personal boundaries.

Well, color me surprised! Last night I received a marriage proposal. At age 64, I was prepared to grow old alone, happy and single.

A man I have been dating on-and-off for three years asked me to marry him. Greg's wife died of cancer at age 36. Like me, Greg has been single for years, searching for the right person. He is kind, generous, steady and dependable. And an extraordinary lover.

Last night, I tossed and turned all night long. I decided to hold off on getting engaged. "Let's not date anyone else," I suggested. My daughter is getting married on September 15. I don't want to steal her thunder. Greg was fine with my decision.

Hey, folks, there's always hope!

I do sometimes feel like that. I own my role in relationship problems. It seems like I make the same mistakes again and again. Been to therapy a number of times, but I still struggle. ?

Oh. You are in Texas. That is the problem. Austin is an exception. An island of sanity in a state that should secede & become 5 separate states as its constitution states. Get out. Get out now. Perhaps it is the kind of men you are attracted to. Self examination via a counselor helps. A coach in how you are perceived by others. Good luck.

I'm now going to be single forever. I'm happy about it right now.

Similar situation; had one relationship as an adult and she was more interested in a sexual relationship. Her personality had her verbally abusive to me and her daughter. Glad it's over but now as an asexual with a disability, I don't expect to meet that special someone.

I guess a lot depends upon what you define as a relationship, not everyone is good at stereotypical relationships but many people are good at variations on that theme and some people are just happier living on their own. You need to do what is right for you, what makes you happy because one thing I know to be true is that it is better not to be in a relationship than to be in a toxic relationship.

Hi, I think that people need people I have found that living by myself for years I do not have anyone to impress or show and I tend to talk my daughter to death all day when I see her.

It may seem like 43 is late but I left a 28 yr marriage at 60 and I'm still actively and optimistically looking. But I've needed that time to play and then work on getting myself to a point where I felt good enough about myself to feel I have something to offer a relationship. So my frame of mind is totally different today than 7 yrs ago. I don't know if I will find the one but I don't worry about it. I live my life as optimistically as possible and hope for the best.

I don't know that any of us are meant to be alone. I think it is mostly a choice. But that is just my opinion. ?

I feel that way too. I've been in two long-term relationships. I don't claim to be perfect, but I didn't do anything to deserve being cheated on and lied to. More recently, I've been ghosted after what I thought were promising starts.

I can't figure out what I've done wrong, so I obviously don't think I can fix whatever is wrong. I guess it's time to accept reality and make the most of it.