Imagine the other 2 on each side of Jesus and one of them pipes up to say he believes. Jesus says "this day you will be with me in Paradise." There it is across the street. The Paradise Cemetery.

I think he was more an Eric Idle type of character, I could imagine him singing Always Look On The Brighter Side Of Life...

Last Supper, Jesus gets handed the bill. Takes one look and hands it to Peter, who hands it to Luke, who hands it to Mathew; meanwhile, his brother James is hiding in the bathroom (he knows what he is like). Eventually, the bill lands at Judas who exclaims; "Where the fuck am I gonna find 30 pieces of silver at this time of night?"

Jesus’ last words.

“Hey Judas! I can see your house from up here!”

One great item that all Christians seem to ignore (even those with 'stigmatas' is that the nail were in his wrists, not his hands. The bones of the hands are too weak to support a body. People usually died, not from blood loss but loss of consciousness, and they slumped forward which stopped air from getting to the lungs. [britannica.com]
Also, crucifixion was common during this time and it has been found that at one time, during a Jewish uprising, so many were crucified one could see crosses to the horizon. [livescience.com]

According to the written Myth, Jesus was crucified on a Friday. According to Jewish customs, All crusificees were taken down on Saturday, the Jewish Sabbath.
Medical established fact, It would take 3 days to die from crucification.
Go figure

Knowing this fact Jesus had less than a hard time on his weekend. Still, he prays to himself and only his father knows when he will return. In America Christian Nationalists keep trying to change a date that nobody knows.