Jehovah's Witness Repellent:
There were two (They always come in pairs) who came to my door every Saturday morning. Saturday was my only day off and only day to sleep in. I tried several different methods of discouraging them, but they kept coming back and disturbing my day of rest. While at a yard sale, I spied a plastic cross with Jesus attached to it. I suddenly had an idea. The cross cost me 25 cents. I took it home and nailed it upside down to my door. No more knocks on the door on Saturday morning!
Two JWs came to my door, gave the spiel and offered literature. I briefly explained my Agnostic POV and my bad back. I asked if they had time to move several boxes of books to my attic.
I had no idea JWs were on such a tight schedule. They left immediately.
I continue to use this ploy.
Foolproof solution, the next time you get a JW knocking on your door just politely but firmly explain to them that you are an Atheist or an Agnostic or Whatever and that you absolutely do not want them to knock on your door again so would they please put you on their Do Not Call List. The JW's are very organized now when it comes to canvasing for new members with assigned areas and streets that are distributed to their 'field service workers' and 'pioneers', most of them now carry tablets so the information is there and they check it in order to meet their productivity quotas, no point wasting time on a do not call door. They'll leave you alone and if they don't then a call to the Kingdom Hall and a message left to the Elders will work, Presto! no more Saturday morning disruptions.
This is what i did and atleast its legal where i live. well in most states lol. I stripped naked, put my belt on with my holster and put my gun on my side and answer the door. They called the police about me being naked and answer the door that way also were upset i had my gun on my side lol. The cop asks me, did you walk out side, i said no i stood in my doorway back about 5 feet. cop goes its legal stop bother me, then they said well he had a gun. Cop was like, well welcome to america dumb ass, all most all of us have guns on us. lol they havent been back in almost a 2 years now.
If they bug my, I ask them to think that if the fantasy is real: suppose Jesus died at age 42 of cancer, would that satiate Yahweh's lust for a human sacrifice. That will quiet them.
I had two come to the door one Saturday morning some years back. I had some friends over that Friday night "celebrating" nothing in particular and folks started crashing around 5 a.m. At 8:30 the next morning, there was a knock at the door. I got up, stumbled to the door in sweat pants and a t-shirt and when I opened it, there were 2 JW's standing there. They started in with all of their politeness and asked me "if I knew Jesus?" I quickly replied "sure do.... we're sitting here drinking whiskey and smoking some pot, y'all wanna come in?" They politely declined but offered to leave me some literature which I politely declined and they left.
LOL! Now that's funny!
You shouldn't have to do that... Saying once "I'm not interested, thank you" should be enough. After that it becomes harassment.
I had a buddy who kept being bothered by Jehovah's Witnesses. One day they showed up at his door right after he just dropped a motorcycle engine on his foot.
Needless to say, he was not in a good mood. So instead of sending them away, he let them in and told them to have a seat on the couch. He then limped to his room and grabbed copies of the Bible, the Koran and the Satanic Bible, slapped them down in his coffee table and said, "ok.... let's talk". After sitting there quietly with shocked looks on their faces for what must have been quite some time, they excused themselves and left. Never to return again.
Hilarious. I know that if you ask them to come in and pray with you they will refuse. I have lived at my current place for 32 years. JW's used to visit regularly. One day about 12 years ago they asked..do you think God answers prayers? I answered..given that about 50 million died in WWll
...yes! But nearly always the answer is NO!