Obviously I hadn’t given too many details here. We are both busy people. The difference is I do understand that he has obligations and his own friends. And I do make time for us. He’s busy with a big project right now so I get that he doesn’t have much free time. I didn’t expect him to be off work during the day yesterday and needing to spend time with me. I own a business and have obligations. He was upset that I couldn’t just be with him. I mean I wish I could but it was just not the best time and he should understand. Instead he was asking me if it was because there’s someone else I was seeing. What? He often pulls the hurt puppy dog on me. It’s cute but gets old after awhile.

Usually they go after me hard even if I’m initially not interested. They are charming, intelligent, exciting. I figure if they put so much effort into pursuing me then they would put much into the relationship so I give them a chance. There is where I go wrong. It’s hard to say no to them, at least for me.

@graceylou We can all be blinded by the light, and overlook the danger signs. What l learned to do was, if whatever it is you don't like rears its ugly head, RUN. It will be back. Just another piece of advise you probably don't need, but I'm sending it anyway, right? ☺

@Sticks48 Oh no, you are completely correct and that would be the wise thing to do. Normally I can handle it and not take things too seriously but today I was surprised with the demand on my time. I was just a bit irritated.

You are right. I’m definitely not innocent in all this. I can’t change other people but I can change me.

@graceylou atta Girl !

I know hey. How do they keep finding us. Lol. I grew up with my parents constantly putting me down telling me nobody would ever want me. When I had my first “real” boyfriend I kinda felt like if I didn’t keep him happy I will lose him and I will have nobody. I left him after over a year. It dawned on me one day I was too smart to someone’s doormat. But sadly it just became a pattern for me.

@graceylou people with thought disorders or brain injuries that mimic thought disorders find me in the middle of no where

@btroje Wow. I don’t even know what that’s like.

Yes. I’m like you. For me, it seems to take awhile to finally let go of those persons despite knowing exactly what is going on. Thank you for those references.

You are absolutely right regarding narcissistic people, but I have to stop short of suggesting all people who do this are toxic. It is also very plausible that any given person may be making assumptions (valid or not) that come from a failure to set boundaries early in the relationship. Empathetic people generally go out of their way to be available to others; this makes us easy targets to be taken advantage of. You will likely agree with that. We have to understand that the responsibility rests on both parties and not every situation is exclusively the fault of the person taking advantage.

@Shawno1972 I agree, it’s not all them. Or all us. I take responsibility for my part in all the relationships I’ve been in.
There are many red flags, different levels of toxic. I’m finally at a point of no tolerance for boundary-crossing behavior. I will give them a chance to hear and respect my boundaries; if they won’t, that’s too toxic for me. We each have to assess and decide what’s healthy for us.