Reminds me of my youth in many ways. I was in the "friend zone" of very many women, and found myself in the position of trusted confidant for a few. Then, aged 25, I met an 18 year old that my brain instinctively said "that's the right one" and overruled my natural hesitation. We courted for 1 year then were engaged for 2 years, until she was 21, She's still around. My son, similarly, had many doting "friend-zone" women but didn't find anyone until he was 36. He married her aged 40.
You can't push these things, they either happen or they don't. Keep circulating and trust your instincts.

All of this, plus I am not what women want, and I cannot find a woman I want enough that I would want to change. So many female friends, women like me, but only as a friend.

Lol maybe one day I will be brave enough to say this, I have a similar problem going.

Thoughts : If someone approached me, using just what you said " I haven't done this in a long time, and have no idea what to say " - I'd see that as a noble attempt, and honest. Not negative at all.
Lots of people feel awkward in social settings, or on dating sites.
And we all get rejected at times - so what ? What is there REALLY, to be afraid of ?

And try and remember - though it might feel uncomfortable , or strange, you can decide to re-invent yourself at any point in your life. You needn't do what you've always done, or follow your own negative script.

The fact that you were once married that long, is a very attractive trait to many women !

I can identify. Although I very much want to be in a relationship, I don't know how to initiate either. Also fear rejection. Its all so hard.

I know what you mean. But don't worry man, it's just like riding a bicycle, it'll come back to ya. just keep your mind open and LISTEN!

I personally don't think there's any such thing as the 'friend zone'.

At the risk of sounding crass... Try to remember the feeling of being married and then see if you can get that flirtatious side of you back.

Dating is such a bloody nightmare.

I was married for 18 years and I felt similar. It's OK to just be friends and go from there. Do fun things with someone else and it should work out. Maybe not how you envision but getting yourself out there is the most important step.