In 2009, a sad/funny/weird/scary thing happen to me while on a dating site date. He was a retired detective from a small city police department in WA. I was retired park police. He was a widow for 15 years and a grandfather. He lived 25 miles away. I'm a grandmother. Everything looked good. We met for dinner on a Friday night. It was alright, so we decided to go to a bar for drinks. We talked about work, telling our police 'war stories'. He was never flirtatious, I felt a cold void coming from him and could tell I wasn't interested, it would be a waste of time to arrange a second date.
Was driving this man back to his car when he put his arm around my seat. When I stopped for a red light, he went in for the kiss. Politely, I lightly complied. He took it wrong. He thought the kiss meant I was ready. He became strangely aggressive telling me I was going home to his ranch, that he had my clothes all ready. I said "No, I'm not. What do you mean?" He said he saved all his dead wife's clothes for me. He wanted me to wear a certain red lingerie outfit that he liked on her. He had champaign already on ice for me. I said to him: "This is our first date, what made you think I would ever agree to such a thing?" His response was, "You are so hot, why not" I told him I didn't know what to say. Now, please get out of my car. He got out and I never heard from him again.
I never went on another dating-site date after that. This is my first attempt to try it again.
8
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15 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad that you got out of that safe.
Wildgreens
Level 8
June 8, 2018
0
Whoa! That read like the opening scenes of a really good movie!!!
In reality, this is just another example of why I cannot understand you ladies even considering this cyber-dating thing.
I'm glad you escaped unscathed.
bigpawbullets
Level 9
June 5, 2018
0
That is one scary story. I'm glad to hear things turned out OK, but it had the potential to go downhill. Please be careful next time. Some men are so desperate and lame.
jujuofthesea
Level 7
June 5, 2018
2
Why oh why would you let a stranger into your car? Ever?
AnneWimsey
Level 9
June 5, 2018
1
It's safer than getting into his , but I'd recommend separate transportation and meeting and remaining in a public place .
First of all ... there is not near enough weed in this story, this date, or this relationship. The problems just snowball from there.
JeffMesser
Level 8
June 5, 2018
1
Rule of thumb for first and second dates:
Drive your own car to meet him in a public place only. Do NOT get in the car alone with him or let him know where you live.
I once got in the car with a man, a friend's nephew, to drive to the movies on a second date, and he tried to force himself on me.
birdingnut
Level 8
June 5, 2018
2
Good advice.
The most I'm willing to do on a first meeting is mutual screening at lunch or perhaps a picnic somewhere quiet and conversation conducive. Unless I've gotten a acquainted face to face at a first meeting, nothing that could be construed as 'romantic' or a 'date' will happen.
Depending on how much conversation on the net and over how much time, I might consider the zoo, shooting pool on a nice afternoon at some comfortable bar. If really feeling good about them before a first meeting, I might be open to inviting them on a double date with two of my friends who will also be 'screening'.
In the rarest of circumstances, and I mean rare such as she is too far away to travel to meet only and then travel again for an initial date, if mutually agreeable, I'd go somewhere about half-way to meet in an interesting town or city for 2-3 days, with separate rooms or places to stay, perhaps even local friends or relatives for one or both of us to include some of the time.
Sounds probably a bit old fashioned to some, but even early-on, one ought to be careful about allowing another person to create unrealistic expectations, not shared but rooted in their personal fantasies. The cop you described is sure afflicted in that regard.
Silver1wun
Level 7
June 5, 2018
4
@StilInterested It is so tragic that in our degraded, pathogenic 'culture', women have to be so cautious; on top of that obstacle, there are more of you and less from which to choose. That isn't meant to demean natural male behavior in any way, but to recognize that males and females are damaged early. We males act out as a result of the damage and gender indoctrination in different, more overtly destructive ways than females. Add to that our generally greater physical size and strength and the picture is pretty dismal.
Responding honestly to people's posts is an excellent way enable people to get to know 'how you (rhetorical you) tick'. Reading, expressing and sharing ideas and points of view ought to be a pleasure. I enjoy 'the Hell out of it'.
As for personal appearance, though important, its usually overrated. Suzanne Somers says it helps to have good genes to begin with before all of the self-improvements we struggle with.. Genes are a total crap-shoot. Working around beautiful women for decades taught me that the greater part of beauty can't be perceived by the eyes alone. But thank you. 
Nice to (cyber) meet you as well Charlie. Robert
I think that was a "special" experience not necessarily linked to a dating site.THere is plenty of options to take your time here (not saying you didnt) Good that you are still interested
btroje
Level 9
June 4, 2018
2
@StilInterested not at all saying you shouldnt tell your story. I was trying to say hey, it doesnt always work out that way and glad you had the courage to come back. (Apparently didnt do that too well) :'
That’s so creepy! I had one bad experience, and was glad to get out of it: we met at a restaurant. When I pulled in to park, he got in my car before I could protest. He stared at me, then says ‘I want to f*ck you!’ Tried to grab me but I evaded his hands and made him get out of the car. I had to block him on the dating site, he kept viewing my profile and sending messages..as if I didn’t know how he was!
CarolinaGirl60
Level 8
June 4, 2018
3
@StilInterested they know better, just won’t DO better. Uncouth and without shame.
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