@Benthoven. I keep seeing your name and thinking it says Bent over. Hahaha

No news is good news!

You wouldn't be the first to hear it. You'd think, with a name like Ben--three simple letters, there wouldn't be much you could do with it, but not true: Benthoven, Ben Dover, Ben the Rat, Benny and the Jets, Been there Done That, Obi Wan, Ben Kenobi, Ben Gay, Been a Long Time, Big Ben, Gentle Ben, Ben Jammin', Benji, Benj, Bent, Bento, BendOver and Say Ah!... There's more, but I think you get the picture.

Focus on the good stuff, Charlie, you'll be okay. I've been through it, you'll be okay. After all, look at all the new friends you have here.

Cheer up, Mr. Charlie with or without the long hair

They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and I'm going to be Hercules pretty soon. And they also say that you don't know how strong you are until the only option is to be strong. Hang in there, it will get better. I'm not saying it won't get worse again, but it will get better.

@EllenDale yes, you found the inspiration for my name!

@AMGT thank you!

@Condor5 indeed, which is why I felt comfortable sharing what I felt I needed to share! Thanks for the kind words

@HippieChick58 thank you!

@mrcharlie65 My pleasure!

While I joined this site in November is some weird desire to potentially meet someone, it has only been in the last month that I have spent time on here as a welcoming and empowering community where I can express myself freely and feel nothing but support. thanks everyone!!

The bad news is that I believe that most of us have had years like you're going through, and I would never want to repeat them. The good news is that you have a positive attitude about the future. We can all suffer the trials and tribulations of life. The important thing is how we come out of it and where we go from here. I think you are on a good track. Stay positive, work to bring happiness back into your life. Let go of the things that hold you back. And start over again. There's nothing wrong with starting over again, especially since you have a whole bucket full of experience to learn from.

@stomato thank you for your encouraging words!

And talking. Talking and talking. Somebody tell him to shut up.

I like that. Lol

buying art supplies, even just one brush or a stick of vine charcoal always cheers me up and is like a new start. It's like a little package of potential art.

What he said.

That's news to me (groan)

That gave me a good laugh. You being vegetarian is good news for the babies!

Lol. Forgiven. But then I'm not one either

You're the best kidder, the finest, everybody say so, you know the best jokes as well. You are the finest comedian..ever.

@Charlene And everyone knows there's no one more humble than me. No one.

@Duke
That's true..Everbody says so..your the finest at being humble...no knows more about being humble than you..

@Charlene and Mexico is going to pay for it.

@Duke lololololol..and you know more about walls than everybody, you build the biggest walls, tall, beautiful walls, strong walls, uninpenatrible walls..

OMFG!! WHAT have we come too when a comedian gives a joke disclaimer?!?!? I though it was funny and knew it was a joke.

@silverotter11 Yes but, I get that some people are sensitive to issues and I try not to offend. I've discovered that it's an impossible task.

Well, bitch. I smile with you.

I love this.

for a minute I thought you were a tree. "The good news is, being a stubborn birch ..." made me laugh as much as I am a smiling stubborn bitch, THAT was when I realized it was a typo. now the jokes on me

I loved popeye

@FortyTwo Thanks. Sometimes,I just can't help myself. However, be warned. I've been informed that one of the possible side-effects of Tamiflu are hallucinations. If I start posting shit that's even weirder than usual, you'll know why. At least, that's excuse I'm going to use.

Good pun! Fight the good fight against the flu!

If you ever really do want to stop getting the flu, and don't mind extreme measures, I used to get so sick with flu every winter it would go into near-pneumonia and struggle to breathe.

So, I stopped eating red meat, white flour, most processed food, white sugar, and switched to whole, organic food. I never had flu again. Or infections. And my stamina suddenly doubled when jogging.

And when I raised my kids that way they never even got the sniffles and could play outside in the snow in T-shirts without any bad consequences, or even noticing the cold.

@KKGator I see what you did there. Well played!

no one wants to date me and I'm a straight bloke so I wouldn't worry about it. at least you are who you want to be.

Don't give up too early. I haven't dated in 20 years and I still have hope. Lol

Many people are attracted to transwomen, love the intersex vibe. I'm sort of inbetween genders also, qualifying for labels, such as bigender, androgyne, agender, partial transmale, gender fluid, and my sexual orientation is unclear, since I'm on the asexual spectrum, as a demisexual.

However, I still get plenty of date offers and marriage proposals (from both genders), even in my old age (65), but in my case, it's no doubt because I can pass for cis female, and seem much younger than my age, from my wild behavior.

My trans gendered niece found her lovely wife online. So really anything can happen. And her wife is such a great person too!

@RavenCT - I know. I'm just far more attracted to men, and most men see transwomen as "a trap", or "really a man". Or, on the other side, they want a "chick with a d***" - which is totally not what I am or what I am into. The dating pool is very small for a feminine transwoman who likes men.

I can honestly say I like this. and in all seriousness, I appreciate this as I feel like that is something I am working on myself.

I struggle with this reality.

"Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives."

Keep busy, sister

Most of that also applies to me (except the musician or the bird photographs part).

Bad news; at my stage of life and values the pickins are slim.

@JackPedigo Men are typically more in demand than females, so if you are looking, you should find. Also, you don't seem super picky about culture and ethnicity, so have an even larger choice than many.

@icolan Do you mean a date in general, or with someone like me? Most women I know love gay male friends, and my ex came out last year as bi, so in a way, that's what I had.

@birdingnut The demand part comes from the fact women live longer so there are more of you. Two problems for me is: 1. I live on an island. Yes, there are single women at my stage of life but we have different values. This is not just any island and is very unique in it's energy and community involvement and is beautiful. The values difference is the second problem. My late partner both helped and hindered me. She hindered in that she set the bar very high. She helped in that I have learned to better appreciate what I have.

Also, I am not picky. Two previous long term relationships were with American women. The last one was from Iran. I found having someone with a different culture set augments the relationship and adds a third dimension.

@JackPedigo Yes, I can see where your location could be a factor. Women are typically the ones who decide where a couple lives, and they often like to live near family. You might have to meet someone from your area, or someone adventurous enough to want to move to an island. But someone that restless, might later want to keep moving.

@birdingnut I have had families get involved in relationships before and they tend to side, right or wrong, on their child's side (I have heard blood is thicker than water soo many times). I want to have a relationship with A person and it's difficult enough getting to know her much less an extended family. Quality not quantity which puts me in more of a bind.

You have noo idea about this place. We were more restless in Seattle before we moved. There is more than enough to keep one busy here + there are always travel options. The island is equidistant between Seattle and Vancouver BC. There are 2 small, neat cities (one is the Tulip capital of the country) within an hour and a larger one (Bellingham) another half hour. One moves here to do more not less.

@icolan Well, I am a male version of a female, being partially transmale. But mostly I live as an androgyne. But, thanks! My ex came out as both bi and nonbinary female last year, so even though we didn't know it when we were married, we were sort of a reverse gender couple. I was the wild one and he was in the background being fussy and cautious. I talked him into all kinds of crazy adventures, instead of the other way around.

But if you like the kinds of activities I do, it seems that men would be more likely to enjoy similar things. Here in Thailand, the only women who joined me in motorbike trips, climbs, and riding waves at the beach were occasional Caucasian South Africans. After living in Africa, not much fazed them.

@JackPedigo Sounds beautiful, and the perfect place for someone who loves that type of area. You are also the sort of interesting person most women say they want to meet. Or maybe you prefer someone who matches you intellectually, which could be trickier. Most men seem to only want someone pretty who will cook and take care of them, so maybe you are choosier.

@icolan If you like Thailand, there are plenty of LGBTQ people here. Many/most people seem to be "bi" and most are a gender mix, with women typically having the figures of ten-yr-old boys into their 30s and most men are slender and graceful into their 40s.

But dating a Thai of either gender is problematic..they often see foreigners as "marks," using sexual attraction to extract money, or at least try for a green card. You must prove your love by helping them pay for a sick relative, etc.

But I am now too old for a work permit here, as Thai law changed for foreign teachers, so am planning on leaving asap.

@birdingnut After our last conversation I thought about this, again. When I look at matches one thing I look for is family ties. An extra comment to the one earlier is that a lot of men are fine with that. They mostly want a mother or house maid. That would be torture for me. In my previous relationships I was the main cook/housemaid (which includes laundry and Ironing). The last one we split the chores. She washed dishes better than I but hated windows and ironing. We both cooked (but she was far superior).

She had 3 kids, One in Denver, one in Dallas and one in Richmond, VA. That was fine with her. She strongly believed adult kids were only a part of her life and did not live vicariously (plus 2 of her kids were S. Baptists - she actually felt closer to her gay son and his partner).

I hear that's what women want but too often the actuality does not match the words.

Oh yeah!

That's solidly good news as far as I can tell.

And many on this site who won't dump you for not believing.

Sounds like you dodged two bullets.

Mueller's investigation is the best thing of all

I may have missed this somewhere else on the board, but what's going on with your brother, Charlene?

@BlueWave
He is on his last round of experimental immunotherapies for Melanoma

@Charlene Oh no......... I don't wanna start tearing up this early in the morning. I'm so sorry to hear that. With that, I guess it's time for me to put the computer down and go start my day. <hug>

@BlueWave i
It's all good sis..whatever the out come..

Lots of us here in this club.

I never win, but then I never buy a ticket! Lol

Maybe it's a slow news days

Cool!

@WickedNicki

You've got a friend on this site.

It's not too late to start until after the funeral!

very true unlike my statement lol. it should have read maybe I never really lived