I was an outcast through all of my childhood and growing up, too. That's why in high school I made friends and ate lunch with the lower class and special education students, as they were among the few who weren't snobby and didn't think they were too good and cool to hang out with me

I've only EVER had 2 actually physical fights in my life, the first was with the school Bully in primary school who thought he could bully everyone, including the girls and new kids, until one day he started on a little girl who had just changed to the school from another, she was very tiny, petite, same age as me ( 11 years old) and wore glasses.
My Dad always told that " If you have to fight then fight for the rights of someone else, not yourself, and make certain you down your opponent BUT let the opponent take the first swing at you."
I challenged the Bully, we met in the park next door to the school that afternoon after school finished, his bully mates were restrained by the crowd and we went one on one, me, all skinny and about 7 stone of me and him a good 3 inches taller and about 1-2 stone heavier.
He swung the first punch, which somehow I managed to duck, and then, as told by the crowd, I turned into a human windmill with fists flying left and right.
It took 2 teachers to get me off of him as he lay on the ground looking very battered, bruised and crying his eyes out, begging for mercy.
I'm by no means proud of myself nor the fight but seeing him dragged up before the ENTIRE school the next morning with 2 black eyes, a split lip and bruises a very nice shade of red and purple, and the School Headmaster firmly INSTRUCTING him and his bully friends to APOLOGISE to EVERYONE in the school, including the Teachers, and then being told that they'd ALL receive a punishment of collecting rubbish from around the school grounds from then on until they left the school and started their time in Secondary School a year later at which their dismal records would also be known and make public to the students there.
As for me, I got sent to the school First Aid room to get my bandaged hands re-bandaged then a very quiet rest in the same room for two periods before being allowed back to classes.

I'd forgive them. Not for them. For me. Once you've forgiven someone you no longer have to give them brain space. Holding grudges is just added weight. You don't have to go out of your way to interact or be kind, but you don't have to put any extra effort into actively disliking/hating them.

Yep, funny how that kind of karma catches up with them. I once knew a set of twins who were actually very smart and known for their good grades, and then shortly after one of them decided to rant right in front of me how much smarter she was than me she got pregnant at THIRTEEN and had to drop out of school! Real smart and mature, aye? I graduated high school, and yet when I was in junior high their older sister would compare them to me; I would say it turned out I was the smarter, more responsible one, wouldn't you?

Yeah I had bullies harass me..They still try too..much to their chagrin, it don't work no more..

Sweet picture. I wouldn't say compassion necessarily, but what I endorce is being generous always. people do the best they can with what they are thinking. And many have pretty mucked up thinking. I would imagine they werent raised to be compassionate and may have endured their own suffering that they needed to belittle others. I have always found I fared better than those who have done that. It must suck being like that too. Just my thoughts and how I keep myself from blowing any chi but these events in life now or in the past.

Oh! and I love the picture. You both look so sweet.

Size of your breasts does not define your feminity.

I am not surprised that those same guys were all over you. You already looked gorgeous at 12, and you are still gorgeous at 65 with your new haircut.

The bullies sometimes grow up and become decent human being. Sadly, oftentimes they don't.
You don't owe ANYONE your forgiveness.
So... **** 'em. I HATE bullies.

Sounds familiar, except I punched them in the face first. Thus seems to be the agony of persecution beginning in middle school for most. Endure. Survive. Excel. Laugh last. My great satisfaction was denying them my presence at a get-together. Why on Earth would I want to consent to being around them when I had a choice. They are cult followers of fellow bully Comrade Chump. EPH U!

I'm sorry for the things you and sure many other people had to go through. I hate bullies. You look a beautiful kid in the photo

I don't see that there is any obligation to extend compassion to anyone. Under any circumstances. Ever. Compassion seems to me more of an opportunity than an obligation. It usually benefits the extendor more than the extendee. But there is never an obligation to accept that benefit.

I had two tormentors in school -- one in elementary school and one in junior high. In he fifth grade, the principal, Miss Mallory, called me in and said that if she ever saw Punky Lester picking on me again without my fighting back, she would spank me. I was more afraid of her than of Punky. The next time Punky picked on me, I fought back -- and beat him.

In junior High, Downing led a pack of toadies around the schoolyard, terrorizing many, including me. In the 10th grade, I challenged Downing to a fight, and beat him soundly. In both cases, after I won, the bullies were simply irrelevant.

II know that neither of them had the successes in life that I have had, so in a small way I probably would feel a bit sorry for both if I saw them again.,

Of course you don't need to. There were people who were just immature, but there were some who were just crummy people. Them, I don't much think about but can not imagine being friends with. On those rare occasions I meet them at a reunion, they generally haven't become much as adults.

Very Interesting. I was bullied all through elementary school and most of JH and went to a specialized HS and the commute was worth it! Loved HS and College. Over the years 2008 to present i get FB messages some with apologies from 3rd and 4th grade. I also got messages from 2 who said they were my friends in 4th grade. I didn't remember these people...but then one..just one...said something I remembered and she was in fact a friend all those years ago. Do I forgive the bullies? Yes. They were kids. But i don't need to know them now. Friend request denied.

Miss Kathleen, I love you! You beat the odds for staying headstrong! ❤?

Two words: Fuck them. (but not literally).

I am astonished and profoundly sad that so many people insist that bullied people go back to the bullies and spend time with them and be nice to them, that forgiveness means letting them abuse you again and again. I have met or I have read about people who come from horrible families - abuse that was awful, so awful it is a miracle that people survived, got jobs, lived stable, decent lives - and when people ask them about parents and relatives, they have to lie and say their parents and siblings are dead. If they give honest answers, they listen to lectures about being a good, dutiful child and forgiveness means spending time with them. Or if they say they can't discuss family issues, they get badgered with intrusive questions. So, many people who survive a terrible childhood have to lie to keep the peace and avoid shaming lectures. I had thought by now, the 21st century, public consciousness was fairly well raised about abusive families .... but maybe not.

Kids are cruel. I avoid children. The only exceptions are those whose parents raise them to have compassion and empathy.

I think a lot of people would say "seventh grade was the worst year of my life". That, or eighth. There's something about middle school that seems to make for Lord of the Flies scenarios with how kids treat each other. At least in my day (and yours) schools did zero about it. I wonder if that has changed.

I have to add to my previous comment, when I was younger I was attracted to women with smaller breasts, I feel that they had to work harder to make a relationship work. Kind of a f***** up situation but in reality it was nice to have someone that actually wanted to make a relationship work instead of relying on their body to make the relationship work.

I wasn't large, but big enough. My older brother (by 14 years) showed me tricks from his special forces training (I don't suggest giving a ten year old a knife and saying attack me). But in high school I developed an anti war persona (even though I later joined the Navy). I also would stand up to bullies and tell them: you can beat me, for sure, but you won't walk away unscathed. No fights after 7th grade. Oh, and even then I cheated. No desire to return to thise days.

I don't believe in "forgiveness". I think it's a bullshit concept, invented by religion.
It gives people a pass, and most of them will do whatever they did to hurt you again.
I don't "need" to forgive anyone, for anything. Ever.
I either get over whatever it is, or I don't. I excise people from my life and rarely
give them another thought.
It's not that hard.

As far as the bullies go, I dealt with my share of mean girls (and boys) in school.
I survived it, and moved the fuck away from all of them as soon as I was old enough.
I don't care if we were just immature kids. They were assholes, and I have no desire to have anything to do with any of them ever again.
I heard a couple of them have died, to which my first reaction was "GOOD".
I will never attend a class reunion. It's an overrated event.

To whomever I wish to show compassion is up to me.
No one else. I do not need to be advised by anyone how I should behave, and
how I should feel about anything, or anyone.

so i don't have to forgive the tomboy girl who for some reason used to chase me when i was small (under 11) & push me around if she caught me. she was older & bigger than me.
never got picked on by boys b/c i was actually pretty tough for my size & age.

You are a beautiful accomplished woman, you won...we both did. I was a chubby ginger, shy geeky kid...hell