That post would make an awesome dating profile on Match.com

@Sgt_Spanky LOL
Too bad I have absolutely NO desire to date.

OMFG
I'm dyin'!!!

That was too fucking hilarious!
Thank you!!!!

@KKGator Even with that you'd still get replies. Mostly from the guys who just want to get laid. You could confess to mass murder and they wouldn't be put off.They'd just compliment you for having a forceful personality then ask you what positions you like best.

@Sgt_Spanky Guess it's a good thing I'm not on any dating sites. LOL

Their bodies are not ugly

Really ? No Castro Centerfolds ? No Victoria's Secret bras sewn together in PRISON INDUSTRIES ???$$$ THANK YOU Jolanta for destroying censorship of Cuban Revolutionary ACCOMPLISHMENTS....DID your show include organic farming and the facts how Cuban medical schools send doctors to USA barrios where few Anglo docs go ? Sad to say TrumpOLINI has slashed free travel to Havana which Obama GREATLY expanded

@Triphid

"Save me from those skinny scrawny women who are so thin they could give you paper-cuts every time you touched them."

That was mean. This is what fit looks like.

Photo: I'm 66. Nov. 14, 2019.

@LiterateHiker Ah shit no, you're not what I'd class as being the 'paper-cutting ' type of woman, I can easily see that there is REAL meat on the bones, all the curves in the right places, etc.

@Gwendolyn2018 No, not meant as 'objectification,' but merely as a compliment to her ratio of physical health and fitness in relation to her years.

@Gwendolyn2018 No, not in any way at all.
In actual fact I know and am good friends with many women who are either my age or older and they are in excellent 'shape' given the ravages of time, etc.
Yet I know many younger women, much, much younger in fact, for the sake of an example, If they were a car then any Insurance Company would class them as being a Complete and Total Write-Off mostly due to the fact that they have ' used and abused' to an extreme extent both the inner workings and the outer body as well.
Personally, I much prefer to look directly at the face and eyes of anyone I'm talking to, etc, be they male or female, rather than to scan/ogle the body as ever so many other men appear to do.

@Gwendolyn2018 Aw, fair go, I was enjoy this 'fun' debate.

@Triphid

There's a compliment in there somewhere.

@LiterateHiker It ALL was a compliment.
"Fair Go" is an Aussie saying that can mean anything from. " Come on that was great why stop," " We're having fun and enjoying it so why stop now," etc, etc, right through to similar to " Hey ease up there, you're being a harsh, mean, etc, etc, " But I wrote to mean simply that I was enjoying our debate immensely and didn't want it to stop.

@Triphid I also object to this: "Save me from those skinny scrawny women who are so thin they could give you paper-cuts every time you touched them." I exercise and eat right and my BMI is in a good place.Insulting people for being thin is no better than insulting them for being fat.

@Stephanie99 "Skinny and Scrawny" in Aussie parlance means a whole different to what you are envisaging I think.
Possibly Cadaverous/ virtually Skeletal might better suit those whom I was describing, i.e. ( and again in Aussie speak) So bloody thin and bony that they have to run around in circles under the shower just to wet,

PS....smart women are fit and trim because they know that this is the way to be healthy and live a long life.....and find a man they can share with.

@nicknotes

Yes, the most important sex organ is the brain.

I think you misunderstood me. Women "CAN" attract a man if they so desire....if not it is a choice they make. @Gwendolyn2018

Gwen....I don't want to argue with you....@Gwendolyn2018

@Gwendolyn2018 I have never had a particular type either. I have spent time with all shapes, heights, and race. There is nothing shallow about who we are attracted to. It just is what it is. Admiring really attractive person is no different than admiring a beautiful painting, or building, or a beautiful view. We did a show with Ricky Nelson a few months before he died. I'm not gay, but I had a hard time not starring at him. He was simply beautiful. We have all met someone we thought was really sexy only to talk to them for awhile and find we no longer find them so attractive. Attraction is a strange and mysterious thing. I have known men and women who do have somewhat strict ideas for who they are attracted to, but not too many.

@Gwendolyn2018 Because of my profession most women already assume I am whatever their idea of what a musician is and it is usually not a choir boy,

@Gwendolyn2018 I always felt when I got older it was a detriment.

@Gwendolyn2018 I am not sure bait is applicable when it comes to ones profession. I dated a woman before I became a professional musician who had a thing for cops. I have dated to women who had been married to University professors and both missed that life style and the world of academia, and yes there are some women who like musicians and the life they lead as professional musicians. To me bait is money, a promise of a promotion or job, Meeting women playing was really not much different than meeting women when I was in advertising. The one advantage is almost everybody like to talk to the band. I can't remember ever walking up to a table of people to thank them for coming out and them not being happy you stopped to talk to them. It does make it a little easier because you don't have to come up with something to get passed that awkward moment when trying to meet someone. They already know who you are. When you are a musician most of the women you meet are at work just as in most professions. With the few people in academia I have known and the ones I have observed at Texas State University, it seems most those people date other people from the University. Most of us date within the world we live in most of the time. The real difference is the people in bars and at concerts are from very different worlds all participating in our world. Sorry, I got carried away. It might be the weed.

Is it biology, or is it societal conditioning? The idea behind the Trophy Wife is as much a symbol of success and status as it is any personal shallow preference.

@Deb57 It is biology. It has been that way in every culture since the beginning of recorded history. No one makes you be attracted to who you are attracted to any more they they make you like whatever it is in life you like, whether it is another human, a song, food, colors...it goes on and on. I have found most of those feelings about society come from being attracted to someone who doesn't share their feelings. Society will definitely influence the way most people dress or wear their hair but not who you are attracted to.

@Sticks48 I guess you're right. Based solely on your pictures, I think you're pretty attractive, but so many other factors hinder pursuing that attraction. Damn shame.

@Deb57 Thank you. That is very nice of you to say. You are also attractive. You are right about the other factors, especially distance.

But at least it gives women a chance to be attractive in one way or another.

I'm hard pressed to think of any woman I know as not being attractive in one way or another already.

@BitFlipper

"For a man to be attractive he has to have it all," you wrote. I disagree.

What do you mean?

@BitFlipper don't worry, women say semi positive things like "well at least hes got some good features" all the time. Its just as awesome as the way men do it to women.

@LiterateHiker just as you have described your recent dismal dates. If the guy has a belly, or is short, or bald, nothing else matters. We only need to have one flaw to be rejected.

@1of5 you haven't seen the women who contact me on the dating sites. It's the number 1 reason I've decided to take radical action on my appearance. I keep asking myself: what is it about me that attracts these very unattractive women?

@BitFlipper What if one of those unattractive women had a personality that was a perfect complement with yours? Would she seem more attractive then?

@BitFlipper bummer. The ones who contacted me were great. Even married one.

Must be the bait you use.

@Sgt_Spanky There's more to an adult relationship than personality. I already have friends with personalities that compliment mine.

It's frequently called "chemistry", and women have no problem demanding it.

@1of5 Precisely. I don't have bait. I just have me.

@BitFlipper sigh

And what if we don't want to be attractive according to our body or the sum of our body parts? What if we'd rather be valued and appreciated for our intellect, our wit, our knowledge, our kindness, our skills or any other traits THAT ACTUALLY MATTER. To say that women are lucky because we are looked at as meat or as fckable bodies aka objectified, comes across as male privilege blindness.

@demifeministgal I agree with you, except that being unattractive, by choice or by nature, isn't a condition that only women experience.

What if we each, men and women, do want to be appreciated for our intellect, our wit, our knowledge, our kindness, our skills or any other traits? What if those traits are all we have to offer? My experience is: it's pretty lonely.

@BitFlipper But at least you are looked at as a human and respected rather than looked at as a walking fleshlight. The alternative is not so great, unless you desire to be part of the hookup culture.

@demifeministgal I hear you and I sympathize with you. Society puts each of us in boxes. I don't experience being treated as human nor am I respected. I am either ignored or distrusted. If you knew me you would probably recognize me as an ally.

I have noticed that fetishes seem to be a man thing. What's the reason for that, do you think? Is it because they tend to objectify women?

@Deb57 Hmmm. I'm not an expert! But I think (guess) it's biological/ physical .
Maybe objectifying women is the result of the fetish, not the cause of it .

@Gwendolyn2018 I do not mean this as an insult or anything else that might be negative. I don't know if you are sexy of not, I have not met you, I do find you extremely intelligent and knowledgeable, so just saying? I am lost here as I want to say something but I am married and have no agenda other than reading your and other people's posts. I want to learn as so I am. Now if you need to yell, do so I am listening.

@Gwendolyn2018 Thanks for the answer.

@bigpawbullets

Not attracted to rolling folds of fat. Most men agree.

As I wrote in my profile:

I'm seeking an athletic, intelligent man with a great sense of humor who treats me with respect and kindness. Shared recreational activities are a bonding experience for couples. That's why I want a man who also loves hiking.

I met Dave in 2019. He was born with a severe cleft palate and lip. His face was disfigured (nose, lips and eye). Many surgeries as a child.

I gave Dave a chance because he seemed kind. I hoped bullying he experienced in school gave him compassion. That was not the case.

An obsessive rock climber, Dave hated hiking unless it was a route to rock climbing cliffs. He refused to hike or walk with me. With erectile dysfunction- he didn't tell me- I thought he wasn't attracted to me. He couldn't maintain an erection and refused to take his Viagra prescription. Selfish.

To make matters worse, Dave endlessly lectured me on obscure jazz musicians and music producers. He couldn't hold a normal conversation. Not a good listener.

After dating Dave for two months, I gave up. Too frustrating.

@LiterateHiker Two months? I am surprised you gave him 2 days!

@Mitch07102

It take awhile to get to know someone.

@Mitch07102

A jazz lover, I enjoyed listening to Dave's collection of jazz albums. He reintroduced me to the album, "Spellbinder" by jazz guitarist Gabor Szabo. My albums were stolen including "Spellbinder."

Listening to Dave's jazz was like meeting an old friend. My father was a jazz trumpet player in Detroit, starting at age 14. I played jazz flute in the University of Michigan Afro-American Studies Dept. for years.

@LiterateHiker That helps explain the delay I too like jazz, though I lean to more contemporary versions. I did recently have the pleasure of listening to jazz saxophonist Oliver Nelson's 1961 album The Blues and the Abstract Truth. Outstanding......

biological essentialism is the worst aka guys using evo psych to defend their sexism.