Newly Reelected Gov. Kevin Stitt Prays 'God Will Have His Way With Oklahoma'

After winning reelection, Gov. Kevin Stitt of Oklahoma stepped out of the statehouse to say a rather bizarre prayer, which went “Father, we just claim Oklahoma for you. Every square inch, we claim it for you, in the name of Jesus. Father, we can do nothing apart from you. We don’t battle against flesh and blood, but against principalities and darkness. And father, we just come against that, we just loose your will over our state right now - in the name of Jesus. We just thank you and we claim Oklahoma for you with the authority that I have as governor and the spiritual authority and the physical authority that you give me. I claim Oklahoma for you, that we will be a light to our country and to the world. We thank you that your will was done on Tuesday and father, that you will have your way with our state, with our education system, with everything within the walls behind me.”

Hey, he sounds like a really fun guy. So, if I’m correct, Gov. Stitt is not only gonna govern in the name of Jesus, but he’s also dedicated “every square inch” of the state to Jesus. Oh, my, that could have a big impact on real estate markets. Of course, it’s also another way of telling every Native American, Muslim, Jew, Buddhist, Hindu, atheist, and agnostic who lives in Oklahoma “to go fuck yourself,” but he’s doing it in the name of Jesus, so it should be fine.

Now, what I’d like to know is, what’s with all this business about telling God “we want you to have your way with our state” kind of talk? Now, I realize Gov. Stitt’s a hard-core protestant evangelical, but “having your way with our state” sounds like a slogan even Catholic priests might be interested in pursuing. “Have your way with me, Lord” does have a certain ring to it, after all.

Anyway, it sounds like, under the leadership of Gov. Stitt, the state government of Oklahoma is now basically an “evangelical protestant church.” I assume this means gatherings of the state legislature will no longer be in English, and all state assembly business will be conducted through “speaking in tongues” from this point on. Can snake handling be far behind? I mean, move over David Koresh.

That said, I still don’t get all this talk about “battling against principalities and darkness.” After all, it was God who put you guys right smack dab in the middle of “Tornado Alley.” Why pick on everyone else? I mean, I thought the whole idea of the USA, was we don’t do “Lords and Kings” anymore. Of course, I realize it’s not really Stitt’s fault. After all, it’s pretty obvious the poor guy has “Stitt-for-brains.”

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