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My roommate licks the butter if I leave it out...

Leeshi 7 May 22
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18 comments

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1

Level 3

When he's hungry, my roommate chews on bits of anything plastic until I feed him.

skipsy Level 3 May 28, 2018

That sounds scary for you. You must have to watch him like a hawk
2

Level 7

My roommate steals my pillow in the middle of the night.

GinaKay Level 7 May 25, 2018
1

Level 7

If I were to suddenly become Incredible Shrinking Man small, I think my familiar scent would only deter my roommate for so long. After that, she would bat me around some and maul me with her teeth.

vita Level 7 May 23, 2018

@MARDUK The McGee would NEVER!!!

@MARDUK You don’t know me! You don’t know where I’ve been!

@Leeshi McGee looks like he's plotting someone's death right now.

@vita yea, every creature other than humans. Tobus McGee does not enjoy other animals taking the human attention away from him. He once woke me up at 3:00 am by fighting with another cat through the CLOSED living room window
5

Level 7

My roommate eats spiders and moths

Sofabeast Level 7 May 23, 2018

Your roommate sounds useful. Mine just toys with them. Then I’m left with a slightly injured, angry insect that wants to put it’s creepy little legs on me!
3

Level 7

My roommate Emily also enjoys drinking from the toilet and then licking me. Le sigh.

5

Level 7

My roommate Emily likes to jump on top of tall book cases and wipe her ass on the wall.

I had a cat that used to wipe her butt on my boyfriend’s shirt, while he was wearing it. One time she actually left a skid mark down the front of his white shirt. The funniest thing about it was that she went up to him acting all lovey-dovey like she wanted to snuggle. She rubbed all up on him, then she turned around and, BAM!, verticle butthole line down his shirt! Haha I still laugh hysterically when I think about it!
4

Level 7

My roommates sit in the bathroom waiting for me to come out of the shower.

GinaKay Level 7 May 22, 2018
6

Level 9

My freaking roommates have destroyed my houseplants!

6

Level 7

.My roommate smooshes her face in my shoes when I take the off at the end of the day.

GinaKay Level 7 May 22, 2018
5

Level 8

My roommate kneads my testicles and she hasn't even trimmed her nails!

kmdskit3 Level 8 May 22, 2018

Dang! I bet that wakes you up!

Best one so far.

@vita Thanx! 🙂
5

Level 8

My roommate likes to lick vasoline - I must keep the lid on, I am afraid she will get tummy problems.

SKH78 Level 8 May 22, 2018

It will help her to pass hairballs.

7

Level 8

My freind's roommate occasionally jumps on my shoulder and rubs rubs her face into my head.

8

Level 9

My roommates get up on he roof and come to the windows of my room on the second story and tap at the windows and sound pathetic wanting to be let inside. So far, I have made them get off the roof and come in the door.

snytiger6 Level 9 May 22, 2018
10

Level 4

My roommate tries to eat my hair while I’m sleeping

AsAbove Level 4 May 22, 2018
5

Level 4

Salt the top of it and she might think twice. That is if it’s a problem. Might not be.

H2OLove Level 4 May 22, 2018

It’s not a problem because I have it in a closed dish now, so he can’t get to it and it’s nice and soft when I use it.
9

Level 9

I caught my roommate licking his butt and then he licked me.

OldGoat43 Level 9 May 22, 2018
11

Level 7

My roommate walks across my boobs in the middle of the night.

poetdi56 Level 7 May 22, 2018

@SACatWalker She probably doesn't think that, but who knows what cats think. That's why I adore them.

My roommates will walk across me to try to get me to get up. Only they start at my feet and walk on me the length of my body up to my shoulders.

My roommates leap from my crotch hurting my scrotum after purring for hours there
11

Level 7

My roommate likes to make biscuits and attack from under the comforter.

Vipyr82 Level 7 May 22, 2018
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