I do this often. Not all the time, but often.

I actually don’t care what anyone thinks of me...

I torture myself with this shit. I always go into depression afterwards. Always feel misunderstood, outside of everything. Sometimes I remember an epiphany I had, when I went to check out a street mural in my neighborhood and it helps me to feel better. They were painting this beautiful mural in the intersection. It was a big circle of blue, with many black crows spiraling out from the center to the outside of the circle. The painters were friendly and asked me to join in for some photos. Of course I politely declined. They were standing inside the circle. I was outside.Just like it always is. I looked at the painted crows outside of that circle and realized that I am them, they are me. Crows are great observers, often misunderstood. But they are a very integral part of nature. It occurred to me that we outsiders serve an important role. With our perspective from outside the circle, we can see things that those inside cannot. We can be of service to them. Whether they appreciate it or not doesn’t matter. We have a purpose. ✌???

Used to do it 24x7.

I am the same way

I don’t do that

Self evaluation is a regular thing for me.
Did I say something wrong? Did they misunderstand what I meant? What should I have said or done different? Did anyone notice how uncomfortable I was? Do they all think I'm a freak? Why is chit chat more popular than talking about science or arts? Do I make people that uncomfortable because I don't have much to say about the weather?
My struggle might be worse than normal... :/

As the saying goes, 'been there did that'. It's worse if I had a few drinks, but I don't drink anymore.