Well, I met a nice girl online last night and had a nice conversation with her. Got my hopes up then they were crushed when she said she already had three kids and didn't want any more. Well, I'm sorry but seems I've wasted your time was my response. I genuinely hope she finds someone good for her, but I want kids...
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I've always been of the opinion that wanting kids would be a joint decision. Not that I'm saying another view is wrong, but for me being in the right partnership first took precedence over having kids with the wrong woman. We got divorced after having kids, but I think that attitude gave it a better chance at least.
Salo
Level 7
June 23, 2020
0
Also do you want your own biological kids? Or are you OK with adoption? Cuz technically you could have become a stepdad or adoptive parent to her kids. Blended families are quite common in modern era.
demifeministgal
Level 8
June 19, 2020
0
The app we used, and I believe most, allow you to skip the children question. And I understand the step dad thing... But like, I want to have my own biological children. I want to be there from the beginning. To see their first steps and hear their first words.
And at the same time, I understand that not everyone is physically able to have children. But, I'd still like to try and, if necessary, go through the pain and grief and heartbreak together.
If the app you are using offers this feature Read Her Profile and pay attention to the section that says "wants to have kids" . Odds are she answered that she does not.
I have the opposite problem. I'm happily childfree but too many men want kids, when half of em are man-babies themselves!
demifeministgal
Level 8
June 19, 2020
0
You're going to blow her off just because she doesn't want more kids? Think about the closeness, the cuddling, having someone to share experiences with. Does she smile? Is she affectionate? Is she pretty? It may not be too late to change your mind.
BitFlipper
Level 8
June 18, 2020
0
If he wants children of his own then I think he’s absolutely correct in not pursuing anything with her
@Marcie1974 Yes,I understand, but I held out for kids and now I've got nothing.
Affection and attractiveness mean nothing when your desires do not align with each other. Incompatibility comes in many forms.
@Jurnee tell me that after your life has been devoid of affection for 18 years. Good luck in your search for perfection, but I need someone to hold and be held by.
Yes it was great you found out in your first conservation and she was up front ,but also sounds like you were head of your self assuming things before even the conversation about it took place ,unfortuneatly lot of guys are this way as they say putting the cart before the horse ,first ,second and third conversations are exploratory about finding the right connections likes and dislikes boundarys etc and after the third and everything looks good then let you hopes up a little,but do not go over board ,or you will get hurt all to quickly ,and with most men it is usually self imposed,,women are usually quite up front with all that info as they to do not want to be disappointer good luck in your search
RoyMillar
Level 9
June 18, 2020
0
I wasn't assuming things were going to go further. I mean, we met on a dating app.... Pretty sure it's implied and we were pretty upfront about what we were looking for in our bios. Well except for that thing about the kids I guess.
Good thing you found out now. She has a lot of kids so it makes sense to me that she does not want more.
GreatNani
Level 8
June 18, 2020
2
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