Many people are desperate to find a soul mate, someone who responds to their deep image of love and intimacy. They go to great lengths to meet people, and they spend considerable time feeling achingly deprived of the joys of intimacy they imagine. Their attitude is summed up in the frequent lament: When am I going to find the person who is right for me? This approach to love seems to reflect the narcissism of the times. When am I going to get what I need for my growth and my satisfaction? An alternative would be to give all that attention either to one’s own life – developing one’s talents, educating oneself in culture, and simply becoming an interesting person – or to a needy society. This crafting of a life is a positive way of preparing oneself for intimacy.
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7 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I think you and me are on the same page there.
Jolanta
Level 9
July 24, 2020
2
Oh am glad we’re
I put a lot of time and effort into looking for somebody, but I don't have Illusions about finding a soulmate. I'm just looking for someone who makes me smile.
BitFlipper
Level 8
July 22, 2020
1
This sounds like you are projecting your anecdotal experiences onto "many" people. In fact, relationships in younger generations are more fluid, short term and long term commitments are being delayed or avoided. Your hypothesis is devoid of data and trends of the new(er) generations. You tried.
demifeministgal
Level 8
July 21, 2020
2
Yes I do. Cuz I prefer having informed opinions, over anecdotal, limited "Life experience" opinions. And everyone has limited life experience that cannot compare to data.
A sample for you (specific to your nation USA) [pewsocialtrends.org]
@Radu Mind you I only provided her with a snapshot of articles. I cannot provide her with all of the research over the last decade. I suppose a better option would be to provide her a meta analysis but I could not be arsed to do so. Since I doubt she will even bother to read these 4 links I provided.
I can provide data to back up my claims without agreeing with every tidbit of information provided within. Clearly the author has a bias in favour of procreation (maybe she is religious or subscribes to evo psych pseudoscience), but her overall research was a good resource for the uninitiated in this topic.
I have not found a Mr Right, but I have found the right person for me. It's me. That kinda works well as we're stuck together forever. Being at peace with yourself is the greatest gift you can give yourself.
HippieChick58
Level 9
July 21, 2020
8
Soulmate? Please count me out. I am not looking for one not do I want one.
I will be very content with a good friend with own independence who can be a partner in life's adventures, such as doing projects, travel, robust discussions on various topics and intimacy only if both feel and agree to it. I would not even expect companion's views to match mine not would I impose mine on her. I am nobody's prince not do I want a princess and there is no rescuing anybody at this age. I will not be a freeloader to anyone not do I want one on my back. But I will be gracious to pay for doing events I suggest requesting a company for (from dinners to Operas). My friendship will be honest, based on trust, respect and will not include flowers, greeting cards and Christmas or Valentine's gifts... Lol
I have proposed to my child, nephews and nieces to save all expenses on wedding rings, dresses, wedding expenses of feeding others and put that money in the first home or investment accounts and I would match it 100%.
After parenting is over, I am not even a fan of staying in a boring, monogamous,
unproductive, cold relationship or marriage carrying someone on my back to death. I am open to non-monogamous partnerships. I suppose I am just born too early... Lol... shocking?... but the future is here whether we like it or not.
St-Sinner
Level 9
July 21, 2020
4
Your last paragraph hits the nail on the head.
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