I remember a long time ago, back in the eighties, a home economics teacher told me that men play at love because the only thing they need is sex, and women play with sex because they only thing they need is love. That wasn't that long ago. the human animal has been conditioned by our culture to behave in specific ways. Culture is poison.

Not always. The love that I shared with my first wife lasted after she died of cancer. Nothing could have separated us but the death of one of us. And I still love and miss her. It took me a while after her passing to realize that the inscription in our rings “All My Love Forever” was the literal truth.

I am sorry that you had a bad relationship. My second marriage was pretty bad. I agree with your sentiments; never again.

@Detritus A bad relationship? That's spelled "Relationships". There's no way I could become this cynical after just one bad relationship. I had one good one, and all the rest have been disasters.

@bitflipper. Consider the possibility that emotionally available women do exist, and there are those who are amenable to engaging in an enduring, intimate, and exclusive relationship with compatible emotionally available men. If those who are themselves emotionally available would just retain a glimmer of optimism about a chance encounter with another emotionally available compatible person, then perhaps the bitterness of the desire to never fall in love again will wane when the sweet essence of intimate love waxes in their minds once again. Such an encounter can happen anywhere where we who cherish the wondrous feelings of reciprocated true love frequent, such as this website and specifically this chat group.

Wow, I see you are 'the victim'. I wonder how that kind of attitude has helped you in a new relationship?

@Jolanta Well, I tried to start a relationship but found that I can’t. She was a very nice person but a combination of my continued love for my first wife and attachment disorder from my second made it impossible. I have resigned myself to living alone for whatever time I have left. I don’t want to hurt anyone nor be hurt. And you must risk hurt to have a relationship.

@Detritus I don't understand why you would want to have a relationship with anyone if you still in love with your first wife and the problem with the attachment disorder. I think you need help instead of feeling sorry for yourself.

@Jolanta it was a huge, but mutual, mistake. For which I paid dearly. As they say, experience is often a dear teacher but some fools will learn from no other. Or as a later summarized it, I wanted love in the worst way, and that is what I found. Had I been smart I would have waited.

@Jolanta you are being judgemental. Where does @Detritus say that he is "feeling sorry for" himself.
Looks like he spotted your sort in one "Just another step in an abusive power game to blame the victim. YMMV, of course".
But what would I know I'm merely a male frayed bear!
LMAO.

@Jolanta "I don't understand why you would want to have a relationship with anyone if you still in love with your first wife and the problem with the attachment disorder." - So you are one of those Indian givers when it comes to love - yours is conditional on this, that or the other?

When I give my love it is there forever even if I am no longer physically there.

Why should attachment disorder prohibit? I gave up smoking twenty years ago but still enjoy walking down the street behind a smoker.

@FrayedBear All love is conditional, all. And when you ask why people with attachment disorder should get help, I think that is pretty obvious. Big difference between smoking and being attached to someone.

@Jolanta "All love is conditional" perhaps contains the reason for every person's problems?

Where's your generosity Jolanta?
Reread #MagicPudding!
Cast off your xtian indoctrination!
Grasp the joy of loving without conditions (conditional love sounds control freaky OCD to me!).

@FrayedBear I love to see you falling in love with a women or man who doesn't look the way you want them to.

@Jolanta lol. There have been some. They still have my love but not my physical presence.

@FlippantLlama Well, that would be ideal certainly, but I would say that's more than being just emotionally available. That's also being kind on top of it.

Get thee behind me proselytising evangelist, obsessive compulsive personality disordered control freak, me tooer or misandrist.

You are grossly mistaken and probably uninformed if you genuinely believe metoo is related to psychosis or illogical beliefs.