I have a theory that maximum intimacy between two people requires both people to have the same "approach" to problem-solving. e.g., in the Meyers Briggs model, some people are conceptual thinkers, some are conceptual feelers, some are concrete thinkers, others are concrete feelers. I have no idea if the meyers briggs model is right.. but my theory is a mismatched pair can only hope to obtain what I'll call a "mutual respect / acceptance level of intimacy", which is a far cry from the full intimacy that a matched pair can obtain. Not a psychologist... just a guy with a theory. Now go beat it up!
My late partner and I were probably on opposite parts of this test (she never took it ). I was introverted and she was an extreme extrovert. We had opposite ideas about problem solving because of our personalities. She was a super quick thinker and wanted to solve problems 'now' and I took awhile. However, I doubt any two people could be more intimate than the two of us. I think if I were to retake the test it would have changed because of her. We can and often do influence others personalities.
How would you ever test your theory? To build the highest levels of intimacy requires some time and effort, how many people are you going to be able to develop that kind of intimacy with? Your approach would start with knowing where are the Meyers Briggs you both are. It's not like I've got men lined up waiting to start a relationship to have us both compare Meyers Briggs scores. I know I need a new approach because obviously what I'm doing isn't working but I can't figure out how to implement this.
Too bad it's not so clear cut or definitive. Self-analysing tests like Myers Briggs are guidelines only, and coupled with in-depth, self-reflection, the results can help people self-actualise, whatever that means for the individual.
There's no way one can accurately put people into any box based on observed personality traits or test results, especially potential love partners. Here's a good article which touches on the subject in more depth.
I’m INFJ, and I depend so much on how I feel to make decisions (I do use some empirical evidence, just ‘not enough’, I’ve been told). I feel pretty rational, but then, I would<g>. Drives some folks insane. Especially logical thinkers. Ever seen a grown man tear out his hair, lol?! That was my ex. ?
Respectfully, that could have been more about him than about you.
@josephr I’m smiling, because everything was about him?...but not anymore.
@CarolinaGirl60 Good for you. Getting rid of one's emotional vultures is healthy and freeing.
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Posted by KateOahuYes, I agree that the reverse is also true.
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Posted by JolantaSomething for real intimacy perhaps.
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Posted by Philip21over the top thinking? [agnostic.com]