I was in a bad marriage, had two children, went through a divorce, tried to keep a relationship with my kids, kind of did not work out. A bad marriage is proof he'll exists. Then went through a period where I would meet people but it never worked out. Finally I gave up and decided not to try and meet women for relationships. Worked out great as I was able to make some good friends no expectations. Then a room mate started to date a woman, he would go running, she would come over to the house and wait for him. This lasted two years, they broke up. I found my self at this friends party, he was leaving to pursue a Ph.D.
At this party this woman ended up talking within every group I would be talking to. I decided she was following me. Eventually I asked and got her phone number, called her to ask her out, she said in two weeks, she was busy. I figured this date would be my first and last, I was broke, she dressed to the nines and drove a Mercedes. We found that each other was what we were looking for. She wanted someone she could be herself with, I wanted a woman who was strong enough to assert herself. I was really tried of the act where the woman does not talk and the guy has to figure it all out. This was not the case, we went to see "Fish called Wanda" then went to an ice cream parlor and had banana splits and conversation. We clicked and have been married 27 years. The love of my life. Now at the time she had a quirk that I did not understand and drove me nuts. Over time I came to realize that what bugged me was the directness of her speech. Realized that someone who knows what they want may state that with some effort. My point is that one should not lower your standards but one may realize that a quirk is part of what makes them who they are. Finding love is really difficult, when it first appears it may not be recognized. Look within yourself and figure out what your standards are, and then allow the other person to show you who they are, then apply the standards. You do not want to be rejecting something you see in someone else, when what you are seeing is a reflection of yourself. Then there is the fact that all people have an ass, some people have and are asses. Never lower your standards!

I think everyone has deal-breakers. It's finding the connection on the things that matter, and that's different for each person and even each relationship.

Maybe it would be helpful to not "date". What I mean is, just hang out with people and eventually feelings will naturally start to grow for someone. Don't set goals for relationships. Just experience them. If you like the feeling, keep going. Otherwise let it drift away.

I realize this is a sincere post. Still, it triggered a memory of something I saw on television lo these many long years ago, which I hope will add a smidgen of well-placed levity upon the proceedings: [nbc.com]

If you don't think that one person can ring all of your bells, perhaps you should consider multiple bell ringers.

While perfection IS the standard - it doesnʻt really exist. We are human and weʻre all different from each other. However, we have values and traits - and those we run into who have similar values in the areas we find important - may easily be those who befriend us and we, in turn, may befriend. But then, because we also (well some of us do) value tolerance, patience, love, affection, acceptance of others (despite our mutual imperfections), etc., we become members of our various communities. Isnʻt life and livelihood wonderful?

I'm not looking for all the boxes to be ticked, just the important ones. You have to find the line between settling and compromising.

Good for you!!! I feel exactly the same way.

As a thought experiment, I did an exercise where I went through a list of screens to find a potential partner: Imagine using match.com plus some I added. Education, religion, height, ethnicity, you all get the idea. The screens are guidelines, not hard and fast rules, but are a good start to achieve focus. And they don't factor in personality and that oh-so-elusive spark.

I came up with a "target-percentage" under one percent. Since this is a person that I am considering in the context of voluntarily spending time with them, including my precious free time, that seems about right.

Your thoughts?

And BTW: I did have an essentially perfect relationship for 7 years. I've been to heaven, one we made. It is worth holding out for.

Again, good for you.

I quiet agree I'd love to find Mrs right for me but I'm not just excepting anyone I think more about me than that I don't mind being alone but company is nice too

You can just date people & have as much or as little fun as you like. I wouldn't want a perfect partner anyway - just good enough will be fine x