Well, some people do talk about that in the profile. Lots of people also struggle talking about love in real life as well!

Being widowed is a tough thing I am sure.

Yep. I'm sorry . So well said.

Thanks for being open and candid. You bring up good points about how people present themselves online. I think most people want to put their best foot forward on a bio, even if some people bend the truth a bit to show a certain perception of themselves.

Personally I like to be honest yet brief in describing myself. Its enough to summarize yourself and your life experience in a few paragraphs. I have would rather get to know someone in person than through a bio or by messages.

some very sad stories here. I am profoundly sorry for those who have experienced this.

My comment about the question would be something like this. An ideal profile, whatever that means, is very subjective. Naturally you should put whatever you feel. No matter how many read your profile it will resonate with only so many and is probably impossible to predict. I've been on a number of sites for a few years, and I believe I am very transparent such as putting athiest down. People who know me say I am honest, kind, affectionate, considerate, loving, and so forth, but stating you are an athiest will close the mind of many and many positive things many claim they are seeking will be glossed over. Seriously, I'm fitter than most, and like to dance, go to ballets, concerts and museums, but where are the ladies who say they want these things. From my perspective, they have all been snatched way in some kind of a rapture.

In most of my profiles I have been honest with the good and the bad. I'm constantly told to change it. It's stupid that you can't be honest on a profile.... and then get accused of not being honest.

Ah Mary.....I can't imagine your experiences. But i can imagine wanting to share and give ones heart and have someone be sweet with . I yearn for that but long distances are where interesting people seem to be You are very strong

Long story short, I want that type of companionship where both are on the same page. I'll keep looking until Elvis leave the building....

Having been in a loveless marriage for almost 15 years, I had a lot of time to figure out what was missing in what I had and what I wanted/needed in my future. I had a list in my head of what attributes were a must for me. I discovered I’m rather picky, but after wasting 15 years of my life, I learned what things I could tolerate and what I couldn’t going forwards.
After I divorced I was ready to find ‘the one’. My profile was precise but true to me and I hoped that even though it was a little long winded and wordy, my wish list would resonate with someone and they would get in touch. I never looked at others profiles or got in touch with them. No rush. I have somewhat of a fatalistic outlook and would prefer to be found by the right person instead of searching for them.
That bit is a little hard to explain, its a gut thing, but nevertheless it worked for me before and I ultimately found my soulmate. It's just wishful thinking it will happen again.
We had an amazing 5 years together…..and then my world shattered when he died and I fell hard from cloud nine.
Now, also a widow, I understand you wanting your husband back and yes holidays do suck without them.
My husband and I managed to have a discussion before he died about me finding love again. I know thats what he wanted and I have no guilt associated with it. I’m in no rush, and as long as my profile is honest and true I know someone, perhaps the right one, will find me one day.

Every woman l have liked or loved or thought l loved were very different from each other.There are no Stepford wives. I have loved different women for different reasons. The list is, accept me for who l am. A sense of humor, and kindness. Oh, and l hope they like sex. That is the profile. The excitement of a relationship is discovering all the other stuff.

As I wrote in my profile:

I'm seeking an athletic, intelligent man with a great sense of humor who treats me with respect and kindness. Shared recreational activities are a bonding experience for couples. That's why I want a man who also loves hiking, and only shoots with a camera.

Although I'm a great cook, I'm not willing to do all of the meal planning, preparation and cooking. Everyone loves hearing those magic words: "Dinner is served."

Loving relationships work best when we add a certain spirit, an attitude of goodwill. I wouldn't know a grudge if it mugged me. I miss the tender touch, laughter, conversation, intimacy, teamwork and fun of a committed, loving relationship.

My parents talked and laughed every day. That's what I want in a relationship.

I want to be honest, but I want to be discreet. I'm always afraid if I come on too strong I'll scare someone away.

You sound like a wonderful woman and I hope you find a suitable life partner.

Background (Not applicable to you): After my much beloved grandmother died from an ugly bout with cancer my grandfather quickly found a woman to support: A nurse from the hospital smelled money and desperation so she quickly replaced my grandmother. The woman was a horrible, self-serving individual that initiated and promoted a litany of bad experiences. (although my grandfather never complained, he was quickly reduced to a not happy not unhappy selfless servant who tirelessly worked to keep her happy). Fortunately, she was also sickly so she died decades before my grandfather checked out.

This may apply . . .
Shortly after his second wife died, he found a wonderful widowed woman and for a time, they had a wonderful sharing relationship where they were both openly happy. They held hands, smiled and and kissed like like high school students and openly appeared to greatly enjoy snuggling with each other as they both greatly respected their parter. They also went on several cruse ships together.

I hope you find another similar experience.

Sadly, her kids convinced her to put an end to the relationship because her (dead (Catholic) husband) who lived in heaven would not approve and after she died, He would be angry with her in heaven.

Damn....
I cannot imagine having my wife die. She was diagnosed with breast cancer 5.5 years ago. The following year was the darkest time I've ever known. She's fine now. But sometimes at night, I think, what if she'd died? And I almost lose it.
So, I think you're incredibly strong Mary. And my heart goes out to you.

Mary, I hear your pain and sincerely hope you find someone to fill your heart. ?

Maybe because it's hard to be so vulnerable to people I don't know. To write my deepest desires for everyone to see.

It's easier... safer... to write something general, and hope someone wants to know more... to let people filter themselves through that initial interest and then see what happens.

One of my favorite definitions of love is "to care for" because it captures the feeling to care about as well as the action to take care of.

I'm not sure I know what I want til I find it. But I agree a major feature has to be the happy times between the hikes and nights out. It's great to have interests in common but the true test is enjoying just surviving together.