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The online dating world is very hard. One of the biggest pitfalls in online dating is number of married men and women who are posing a singles. What advice do you have, and what red flags do you watch out for that may indicate the person you're interested in may be married.

Kojaksmom 8 July 5
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16 comments

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0

I always put on my profile if you are married or separated please do not come near m. Don't go out with married men.

vnufall Level 7 July 28, 2018
0

Online communication is fraught with pitfalls across the board, but it's dangerous -- and heartbreaking -- when wishful thinking/hopes/longings are involved. Just be alert and question anything that appears out of line.

TheDoubter Level 9 July 21, 2018
1

Check all his social media accounts to see who else is in the photos. FaceTime or call him at random times to see if he’s comfortable when he’s not controlling when you connect. Ditto @BrainyActress ‘ comment about whether you can spend time at his house.

UUNJ Level 8 July 10, 2018
0

I'm married. I don't know.

Dingodog Level 7 July 6, 2018

Define what is acceptable or not Im not married and unsure as to what i want in a relationship. This site offers exploration. Talk, raise questions

2

Ask about other relationships he may be involved with. If he is local but can't meet except at midnight ...Red Flag....

EvaV Level 7 July 6, 2018
0

Ask for his home phone and address. Ask for the name of the company he works for and where it’s located. Ask him if he’s married because you want to check on that which will cost some money and will he agree to pay that bill iif they find he is married or has SO.

ezwryder Level 7 July 6, 2018
6

I find most men just tell me. Or I just ask. Having said that, there have been a few that seemed to be trying to tell me what they thought I wanted to hear. ? Just be honest, right? Maybe I’ll agree, maybe I won’t but I’mma find out eventually and playing me will 100% make that scene worse for you.

One guy took me to lunch and told me then he was married. I was furious, i said you know my profile says no married men. He laughed, and said but if i told you i was married i wouldn't have a pretty lady for a lunch date would I???...lol

1

I find most men just tell me. Or I just ask. Having said that, there have been a few that seemed to be trying to tell me what they thought I wanted to hear. ? Just be honest, right? Maybe I’ll agree, maybe I won’t but I’mma find out eventually and playing me will 100% make that scene worse for you.

2

That sucks. My partner and I practice open, transparent polyamory. It’s literally the first conversation I have with anyone I’m considering dating.

Yep, that would be the perfect time to discuss it. For both of you.

3

No face pics and no or minimal profile.

tryingcake Level 7 July 6, 2018
3

Sadly, this is probably a problem across the world of relationships as a whole. It used to be easier to detect when someone was out of touch during traditional "be at home" times but now texting gives easy 24/7 contact. There's always the thorough Google search to fall back on, as well as seeing them in their home/work environment. But I think it's always going to be a leap of faith in someone's honesty.

Lauren Level 8 July 6, 2018

Still, if they can only meet for day time dates (ask to have a happy hour early on), or can never host you...

@brainyactress Yep, that would definitely be a clue to me ... so faith with a healthy dose of skepticism. 😉

4

Ever since Ashley Madison and the whole polyamory thing...I have found that most married men are up front about it. They usually only post pics of part of their face or no pic at all. If in doubt, ask immediately. Sure, they may lie....lying seems to be a thing....with single and married men. sigh

Humanist5 Level 6 July 5, 2018

Not just men.

@FrayedBear True.

@FrayedBear I should have said "with the majority of men I have met". Since I don't date women and I am called "too "; I can't speak about women as prospective dates. My women friends and sisters are as as I am...although I have had the misfortune to know (and dispatch from my life) some dis women.

Why was the word "honest" bleeped out of my last post????? weird!!!!

4

Yes this is exactly true, i think one is not willing to meet or phone, and is evasive on the Marriage question. But its all gamble really

3

If they are married, they are probably just looking for a fast something on the side. You can probably rule them out the way you rule out other booty call seekers

I've run into this getting to know people as well. Never met , but texts late p.m only, no spontaneity makes me suspicious.

2

evasive about home and work life

3

No pictures

Marcie1974 Level 8 July 5, 2018
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